Monday, September 15, 2008

Jonathan Rhys Meyers wouldn't measure up as Henry

I see that Past Pleasures Ltd is looking for a man to play Henry VIII at Hampton Court Palace in 2009. You need to be 6ft tall with a large frame, have a playing age 40-50, be able to grow a beard, be within an easy commute of Hampton Court Palace and be knowledgeable about Tudor history.

It occurs to me that the one man most ably qualified to take on this role, Jonathan Rhys Meyers (who presently plays Henry VIII in The Tudors) would fail the audition.

For the actor is just a shade over 5ft 9ins, looks nothing like 40 let alone 50 (closer 30), doesn't do beards (yet), lives in LA and is probably not very knowledgeable about Tudor history – certainly the people behind The Tudors seem indifferent to it.

What a loss to Hampton Court Palace. But in any case if you aren’t Jonathan Rhys Meyers and you think you have what it takes to play an old scrote who murdered two of his wives, gave heart cancer to another and indirectly killed yet another with his cock, apply to info@pastpleasures.co.uk

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

That bloke Jared Harris, he who is married to Emilia Fox is a sitter? Didn't the MoS insinuate an infidelity on her part on Sunday?

stella polari said...

On reading the job spec, you`re purrfect for the role, MA - though you would have to grow a beard of course

Madame Arcati said...

I believe the MoS insinuated something to that effect but I don't know what this comment has to do with this posting. I must be missing something. I have absolutely no interest in who Emilia Fox may or may not be shagging/dating/whatever or who she is married to. She is just another hereditary actress so far as I can see.

Madame Arcati said...

Google and AOL are behaving oddly today - must be all these banks going down the tube. Everything's so slow. Stella's comment should have appeared after mine (above).

A woman could play Henry VIII. beards can be stuck on and Vanessa Redgrave is about 6ft tall; or Tilda Swinton. The voice might be a problem but you don't need balls to deepen a voice for theatrical effect - they could use that voice thing Stephen Hawking's got. Wouldn't sound Tudory but you could sell it as a modern updating of the horrible life of the English Nero, as I believe Henry was known on the continent.

Madame Arcati said...

I now understand that a "sitter" is a sporting term that means something easy. as in: "Jared Harris would be a sitter as Henry VIII." I assume "sitter" refers to sitting on rugby players which seems an odd thing to do.

stella polari said...

sitting on a rugby player, odd? I don`t think so Dear.