Monday, December 07, 2009

Farah Damji & Liz Jones' ex: Are British Asians all 'no sex, no drugs, no rock ‘n’ roll'?

Nirpal Dhaliwal - the former long-suffering husband of the professional loony and miaow lover Liz Jones - and Farah Damji are planning a joint reading from their respective books, Tourism and Try Me, in the New Year. Their topic is: Did the 60s ever really happen? "Welcome to the no sex, no drugs and strictly no rock ‘n’ roll world of 2 and 3G British Asians." For more details click here.

One of the questions under consideration will be: "Why do so many Asian bloggers and wannabe 'meejah-sites' hate Nirpal and Farah? Are they really the same person? Or maybe twins separated at birth? I mean the blogger(s) not Farah and Nirpal."

And while one awaits this possibly life-threatening event - Madame Arcati may preside (she has yet to decide) - catch up with Farah's July book launch party movie starring, among others, Anthony Haden-Guest, Darcus Howe, Mark Reeves, Vicky Gold and Mark McGowan and The Snails. Soundtrack by the unutterably sexy Bryn Phillips - Madame Arcati is sooooooooo in love.

34 comments:

  1. I thought Molly Parkin was your fiancee? What a combo you lot make - ghastly.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dhaliwal is even more of a tool than Damji; no mean feat.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Will Madame be blacking up then?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ian Board in Colony HellMonday, December 07, 2009

    This is all too fuckin' arty farty for my tastes. Burb!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Tell Madame more about yourself, Ian. May be I'll fancy you or something.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ian Bord In Colony HellMonday, December 07, 2009

    Madame, if you fancy noses which look like bleeding sausages, and if you've got a fetish for urine stained walls I'm your sodden man. Belch!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ian, if you have a thing for dusty chimneys as well, then Madame is your man ! :-)))

    ReplyDelete
  9. Kill kill! Faster, pussycat . . .

    ReplyDelete
  10. Perfect book by the side of this article, Vulca. Or Cunt.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Vulca? The history of Vulcans? Go mind meld with your bidet, you butter-fingered sliver of placenta.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh dearie me. Oh dearie dearie me. I don't think La Damji likes that Mark Reeves person anymore. Didn't you see what she wrote about him Madame Arcati? you are quite the minx, aren't you?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Madame Arcati stays aloof to the post-coital controversies of cock-cunters.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh DID they? I thought he made it up..about you know...

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh, a slip of the key. I blame the Olivio cooking oil.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Is the Guy Hamilton Gallery a care in the community cooperative?

    ReplyDelete
  17. A vulca is a turbo-charged vulva, didn't you know that? In the best Parisian brothels now they say 'D'ya want a vulva or a vulca?'

    ReplyDelete
  18. No, it's a front for a crack-house.

    ReplyDelete
  19. So, did they ( Mark and Farrah) have a fling then? I thought he was gay. He probably is now.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Mark McGowan is a hoot but tell me, where does he sell these wondrous works of art or does he turn up in your living room covered in snails ?

    ReplyDelete
  21. I believe Mark is a denizen of the street.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Mark Reeves / Mark McGowan? Mark Reeves signs people's bottoms doesn't he. WOW that is ART!

    ReplyDelete
  23. There should never be more than one Mark on the premises.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Or in the premises. Snigger.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Changed my surname to DanTuesday, December 08, 2009

    A slow week for "news" then

    ReplyDelete
  26. Fast enough for you dearie. Take a deep breath now.

    ReplyDelete
  27. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  28. The psychopath is someone who has no concern or empathy for others, no awareness of right and wrong, and who takes extreme pleasure in having power over others. The psychopath has no moral conscience and therefore does not experience guilt or remorse.

    Most psychopaths are highly skilled at fooling those around them that they are normal by imitating the emotions that are expected of them in different circumstances. They are consummate at charming people and convincing them they are in the right. It is only when they reveal a discrepancy in their emotional response that they let slip that something may be wrong with them.

    You have been warned Madame.

    ReplyDelete
  29. What happened to Christmas? You got all cosy and mince-pies and now it's brittle no-man's-land again with these ghastly deadheads. Bring on the snow PLEASE and the candlelight

    ReplyDelete
  30. But dearie, you have the M&S TV ads for the cosiness, with Stephen Fry going on about his mincing pies. God knows what you will make of my review of Jonathan King's memoirs, to come.

    And thank you anon for your definition of a psychopath: I have encountered a few of this type in the senior reaches of journalism. They then move on and pick newspaper columns or edit obscure quarterlies or become the Tory media boss while perhaps picking up a ribbon from HM. So psychopathology, professionally managed and disguised, would appear to be a most desirable, if not PRECIOUS, affliction.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Deluded by PreciousWednesday, December 09, 2009

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  32. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete