Friday, March 18, 2011

World Penis Size Map: A guide for international size queens

And so from the dickhead Prof Brian Cox and his nuclear energy-loving touchy wife Gia, the mind thought associates onwards and towards... the World Penis Size Map. I am indebted to Duncan Fallowell for incidentally drawing my attention to this. I have no idea how reliable it is - the measurements do not identify condition of cock, a glaring omission - but you may as well know the French, Germans (5.7") and Italians are better endowed than the Brits (5.5"). Americans average a measly 5.1" (that explains Bruce Willis, then) while Venezuela soars to 6.7". Cambodia manages 4".

Madame Arcati disapproves of size queenery of this sort. But newspaper agony aunts may find this info useful when answering anxious cock-size letters they themselves have written.

World Penis Size Map
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17 comments:

  1. AnonymousFriday, March 18, 2011

    So where's Fallowell from?

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  2. Madame ArcatiFriday, March 18, 2011

    You need to get in more, dearie.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The late Princess MargaretFriday, March 18, 2011

    The map is ridiculous and takes no account of ethnic groups within each nation. Irish Americans will have tiny todgers while African Americans may need to wear a jock strap.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousFriday, March 18, 2011

    Sir Richard Burton did wonderful research on this but Lady Burton burned the results after his death

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  5. AnonymousFriday, March 18, 2011

    the word 'flaccid' always turns up on these occasions. is it ever used on other occasions?

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  6. Do The Funky ChickenFriday, March 18, 2011

    Everybody loves a biggie but no one wants to be lumbered with superhuge. I've changed my plane ticket

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  7. Tamara PressFriday, March 18, 2011

    whoarrrr

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousFriday, March 18, 2011

    As a connoisseur of cock I would say the Yogoslavians are the most impressive - essentially a peasant or labouring race who drowned the small cocked at birth for the greater good.

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  9. AnonymousFriday, March 18, 2011

    'Limp' is the word used in real life for flaccid.

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  10. AnonymousFriday, March 18, 2011

    so you can't be a flaccid head then

    ReplyDelete
  11. Madame ArcatiSaturday, March 19, 2011

    A lady never boasts...

    ReplyDelete
  12. ExSaturday, March 19, 2011

    I remember yours as particularly thick

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  13. AnonymousSaturday, March 19, 2011

    What precisely is your relationship to Duncan Fallowell. We need to know

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  14. Madame ArcatiSaturday, March 19, 2011

    He was my stepmother in a previous incarnation. We have ishoos.

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousSaturday, March 19, 2011

    'Madame disapproves of size queenery'

    Fibber!

    ReplyDelete
  16. greeneSunday, March 20, 2011

    is that when its hard ? possibly an awkward census

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  17. Madame ArcatiSunday, March 20, 2011

    How odd. But then I deleted loads of followers on Twitter the other night, but didn't realise many are following me. Much bitterness.

    ReplyDelete