tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post5013919581927944676..comments2023-10-21T11:46:32.529+01:00Comments on Madame Arcati: Fiona Russell Powell: Why I went to the Screws over Clive JamesMadame Arcatihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04823823014493798116noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-99815973933449142010-02-24T21:34:14.278+00:002010-02-24T21:34:14.278+00:00Fiona, you owe me an email.Fiona, you owe me an email.Madame Arcatihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04823823014493798116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-24800655131652313172010-02-24T21:24:04.868+00:002010-02-24T21:24:04.868+00:00Six months ago this blog was rocking with inuendo ...Six months ago this blog was rocking with inuendo and progesterone and I missed the entire ordeal. To my beloved Fiona I'd like to say that should you ever feel compelled to spend time with another man of 6" or so, please know I'll never tell a sole of our encounter. And remember my dear, if I'm too large, I have always been a fond provider of oral stimulation! Although I've never been there to conduct my own verification process, I'm quite certain you were provided with the necessary width and depth to accomodate most any sperm donor. (Perhaps we can meet sometime to enjoy several hours of touch and smile; strictly scientific in nature my love)<br /> To all those who write and judge without having to play the game; shame on you all! A sexual meeting between two individuals should always be shadowed in detail. For a man to "kiss and tell" is the most horrible rebuke one can offer to a woman after enjoying her favors. Where I'm from, it's tantamount to a slap in the face and generally seen by all as a truly dispicable act of treachery. I've not heard a sign of lament from any of you snickering jays for the pain Fiona must have felt. <br /> Fiona reputation was tarnished by a brief interlude with an idealogue with a medium penis and a typewriter. She should have been awarded triple what the courts gave her and CJ should have been publicly flogged. I stand behind Fiona! She did nothing wrong and for being gracious to an old man she was immortalized in an unflattering manner. <br /> I've prayed for an opportunity to be as blessed as CJ was by Fiona. Perhaps that day will come! What were those directions to the flat again?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-42411962266706842162009-08-26T10:06:18.889+01:002009-08-26T10:06:18.889+01:00Madame, I await your interview qs with anticipatio...Madame, I await your interview qs with anticipation. I have got a brand spanking new blog layout as well which is reet good as us northerners say. <br /><br />On the point of northerners, last time I was in London, I was asked by a posh person at a gallery opening "Do people actually *live* outside London?" - I was also told by someone else "I love the way northerners talk. They talk in a Dickensian manner. So quaint."Jude Calvert-Toulminhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12112993362990797264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-36413590535301975942009-07-16T07:47:32.860+01:002009-07-16T07:47:32.860+01:00> You know how to contact me. Either do it or s...> You know how to contact me. Either do it or shut the fuck up.<br /><br />PML :) What an excellent start to the day before I pot up some basil, refill the fat balls in the bird feeder, make Jamie Oliver's roasted meat lasagne from "Jamie's Italy" and then cut and sew a pair of palazzo pants from ultramarine chinese brocade. Life just doesn't get any better. Thank you Ms Russell-Powell, I like a poster who kick starts my day with a laugh rather than with tears of boredom :)Jude Calvert-Toulminhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12112993362990797264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-6779205779082659462009-07-11T23:38:15.394+01:002009-07-11T23:38:15.394+01:00Oh Fiona, you are so sexy when you get all asserti...Oh Fiona, you are so sexy when you get all assertive, confrontational and put on your competitive suit (leather?). Of course there won't be need for seconds, there'll be a referee, who I'm sure will be most amused (or bemused?) by the whole thing. Don't expect it to be too soon, though; I don't want you to be discouraged and disconcerted by the wait. See you then.<br />oxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-50761459886910999102009-07-09T01:15:09.236+01:002009-07-09T01:15:09.236+01:00Absolutely positively the very last comment I will...Absolutely positively the very last comment I will make on this subject (even I am bored with it now): To Mr Anonymous (because there's no doubt you are a man) - you're on. Provided you aren't an Englishman currently residing in Berlin, name the time and day. If we need to bring seconds, contact me through my website. Or arrange it via our good friend the Madame (whom you claim to know so well while she hasn't a clue who you are). Thankyou and goodnight.Fiona Russell Powellnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-64102493903508660032009-07-08T01:43:57.544+01:002009-07-08T01:43:57.544+01:00Oy... the real life bullshit really is spilling ov...Oy... the real life bullshit really is spilling over to this blog these days. All these double standards over who says it as it is, who doesn't put up with losers and who sermons. Should I even bother, MA darling?<br /><br />Fiona, I'm not going to waste my time with you anymore at the moment; as I said in my first post, I could see efforts to encourage you to move on would be in vain. I'll wait until we meet and <em>we will</em> (I have a stronger than strong feeling about it and I have my reasons to say so). Judging for the friends you've had until now, once you get over the shock and trauma of learning "who" I am (because I will tell you I'm this person) and a few cat fights between us, I can tell we'll become inseparable (because you are in dire need of someone that doesn't bullshit you) and I can see us in our 80's, still having cat fights, and in between I'll be trying to talk you out of dead end relationships and you'll be trying to talk me out of ... well, you'll see.<br /><br />Bye for now<br />ox<br /><br />Jude, nothing has changed; you are an arse-lick.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-61565410282226430152009-07-04T10:37:18.567+01:002009-07-04T10:37:18.567+01:00> I notice that my arch defender/wrist slapper ...> I notice that my arch defender/wrist slapper can't resist another lecture.<br /><br />It's very tame stuff compared to the usenet days. He's jealous cause he wants to shag Clive too.<br /><br />> Indeed, I am a complete slag, jumping into bed with a man who spent three months wooing me down the phone. <br /><br />PML! Yeah, poor misunderstood patriarchal male and shocking naughty strumpet. You slaaaaaaag :) LOL :)Jude Calvert-Toulminhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12112993362990797264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-81710171559244579392009-07-03T03:49:08.883+01:002009-07-03T03:49:08.883+01:00I have just noticed the latest comments about me w...I have just noticed the latest comments about me which were only posted over the last two days and, I must say, surprise me that you are still going on about it. I expected you to have found pastures new by now.I notice that my arch defender/wrist slapper can't resist another lecture. You have no idea how much your insults turn me on, especially when they're mis-spelled. Can't resist an illiterate didact. I would love to meet you. And I do thank you for your previous kind remarks. Anyway, yes, of course I expect negative comments as well as positive. And I always welcome constructive criticism. But when you bitch and expound about me at length, don't get your knickers in a twist if I feel compelled to correct what I perceive to be an uninformed distortion of what happened. After all, I was actually there and lived through it. The day someone steals your life, in massive quantity, because their own imaginations are drying up, gets a huge advance while you can't scrape two bob together then threatens to turn the tables when you object to it, come and talk to me. Go to my website and read the first unpublished (NOTW are nervous of Jaws) article and you might understand why I got a teeny weeny bit upset. I understand all artists take inspiration and use material from their own lives but just have the common decency to ask me first if I mind. And thanks Trace, you've set Women's Lib back in the dark ages again - how shocking of me to fuck a married man! What about him, eh? Indeed, I am a complete slag, jumping into bed with a man who spent three months wooing me down the phone. Still, he was marginally better than a dildo.Fiona Russell Powellnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-52856566723543513372009-06-30T18:01:15.849+01:002009-06-30T18:01:15.849+01:00@ Miss "righteous to the rescue" Jude Ca...@ Miss "righteous to the rescue" Jude Calvert-Toulmin<br /><br />Wright: it's ok to be a disguised author (Jude, you're such an arse-lick) but not ok to use the anonymous choice on the basis that hardly anyone that we know in person visits and/or contributes to the comments on this blog. <br /><br />I'm the first to disapprove of pointless bashing, of which MA is a target here on a regular basis from many of the anons that comment on this blog, but MA is the fist one to agree that <br />1) 98% of the people that interact on this page will never -ever- meet, in the 5 billion inhabitants real world and it is absolutely pointless to give a name that will still mean nothing (as in you, Jude); and <br />2) this blog would loose it's whole style and personality if there wasn't a choice to post anonymously because then there would either be a deafening silence (like it has happened with many of the people that posted names in the past whom have either stopped posting or have started using pseudonyms or the anonymous choice), or everyone would make pointless, nicey-nicey little comments like your "I'll make you feel good because I'm so supportive" comment to Fiona, which in turn will make MA nauseous to the point of closing down the blog for lack of an outlet to speak up (more of the same bullshit we get in real life).<br /><br />Why don't we do this, MA darling. You stop accepting anonymous comments and only registered ones. What will happen? Probably what I just said: deafening silence or anyone that still wants to post and opine will create a cute disguise for posting comments (ooh! it will be such a lovely Mardi Grass party), which will still mean NOTHING. That way none of us will have paper bags (why not say KKK hoods instead?) over our faces and everyone will have a chance to click on the user's name and send them useless hate mail (oops! I forgot... you can still block you profile and not accept criticism - oh, well!).<br /><br />When Fiona agreed to be interviewed she must have been ready to expect the bad with the good - that is a chance you take - and if she didn't realise some would think differently than her, she has a 12 year old mind in a 45 (?) year old body. I sympathize with Fiona and her anecdote, but what good would it do her to act like her "friends" who kept coming to her (for YEARS!) to tell her she had been portrayed negatively in this pseudo-novel of C. James' and did not even bring her a copy (the one they had already paid for! - she had to buy her own!) or standing side by side with her to confront him. D'you know what I think of these "friends" who RECONIZED her description? They are a bunch of hypocrites that probably laughed their bellies off while they read C.J. remarks about her while they though: "well, am I glad I'm not as stupid as this bitch". In the real world the people that know me, know I would tell them as kindly and sensitively as I can what I REALLY think of them; to the people that matter, I my give face and an honest opinion. I even told Fiona how I felt about her story, completely sympathizing with her situation and giving her an opinion she can work with - including the fact that I see her as a smart, youthful, attractive woman - which she dismissed only to focus on the ugly part of the story - which is not untrue.<br /><br />I know I'm a bit harsh with you at times MA and it breaks my heart when you don't take it too nicely, but I mean well, baby; I think it makes you far more good than all this brown-nosing that these hypocrites go about sometimes just for their own self indulgence - I'm so sick of it!.<br /><br />Put a cork on it, bitches!<br /><br />Anonymously yours,<br />ox<br />You know who MA, darling (and so does Steph ... ;)... ) and that is all that matters to me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-91438940019718116572009-06-30T07:14:07.660+01:002009-06-30T07:14:07.660+01:00@Madame Arcati - that sounds absolutely spiffing, ...@Madame Arcati - that sounds absolutely spiffing, yes please :)<br /><br />By book I don't know whether you mean my thinking woman's chuff pamphlet compendium of filth, Mother-in-Law, Son-in-Law, or My Adventures in Cyberpsace, about falling in love with a man across a crowded room in cyberspace without knowing what he looks like, but either way, let's gab :)Jude Calvert-Toulminhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12112993362990797264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-33049830330815929542009-06-29T09:41:42.047+01:002009-06-29T09:41:42.047+01:00You sound interesting Jude as does your book - fan...You sound interesting Jude as does your book - fancy an email interview?Madame Arcatihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04823823014493798116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-67315480516226956562009-06-29T06:54:50.656+01:002009-06-29T06:54:50.656+01:00Anonymous blog authors are acceptable, but the pos...Anonymous blog authors are acceptable, but the posters on this comment trail slagging off a named person whilst standing on stage with a brown paper bag on their head and screeching to the audience in a high pitched whine, "I'm dangerous, I am!" - so 1998.<br /><br />I think Fiona Russell Powell is hilarious and a brilliant writer.Jude Calvert-Toulminhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12112993362990797264noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-64497928258639233082009-06-20T20:17:49.463+01:002009-06-20T20:17:49.463+01:00Judging by the Standard interview with James, Fion...Judging by the Standard interview with James, Fiona's connection with Jane Austen was a "hair". We now know that there were numerous similarities between Fiona and the character. Like most novelists, James lifted loads of details from a person he knew intimately, and got caught out.Madame Arcatihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04823823014493798116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-22691877838884653992009-06-20T13:34:54.529+01:002009-06-20T13:34:54.529+01:00Umhum...pointless...
I'm just glad for you, Fi...Umhum...pointless...<br />I'm just glad for you, Fiona, that you have not tried to make a career in the advertising business. You keep trying to sell this image of being the one who had the last laugh and instead you come through as nothing but bitter, resentful and one that feels misunderstood, lashing out indiscriminately at criticizers, sympathizers and those who couldn't care less (Lavinia, I love your name and have missed your witty comments). I apologize for not having paid enough attention to the interview's prologue to notice the exact age difference - I didn't mean to make you appear "much" older than you really are. If this story was posted to make us have a good ol' laugh, I suppose it's not my kind of comedy, because "I didn't geddit".<br /><br />Maybe Fiona has a point, MA darling; maybe you shouldn't pull us away from our "busy" schedules to talk about ancient history that happened over 25 years ago. Who wants to go over moot points to figure out who was right and who was wrong?<br /><br />Best wishes Fiona for much success in the future.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-61570751735742262692009-06-19T23:17:21.874+01:002009-06-19T23:17:21.874+01:00One last thing: I was 25 and CJ was 48 so that mak...One last thing: I was 25 and CJ was 48 so that makes him 23 years older than me, not 15. Old enough to know better, surely? But then he ain't called Jaws for nothing. And when the original NOTW story is posted, which I hope the good Madame will keep you lot informed about, I guarantee that not a single person will be left in doubt that the Jane Austen character was based on me because it is explained in yawningly great detail with tons of comparisons. Let's put it this way, you could find my flat from the directions in the 'book', and that's just the start. Pip pip!Fiona R Pnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-90993426091966405692009-06-19T22:47:03.964+01:002009-06-19T22:47:03.964+01:00Hello, all you anonymous sweeties out there who ha...Hello, all you anonymous sweeties out there who have taken a minute out of your busy day to post judgement on my life. Just a couple of points: first of all, it doesn't take a genius to guess I might pop up again after the opera singer aired the details on her romance with CJ two weeks ago. It's the first time in 12 years that I have had any more to say on the subject, so I'd hardly call that banging on. Also, the original News of the Screws story, which they didn't run in the end, is hilarious and goes into great sexual detail. If you were to read that, you would know that my view of CJ as a lover was that he was hardly a star pupil, 'adequate' is how I described him in my diary. He the sort of man who stirs the mind rather than the loins and, as I've said before, I'm a sucker for a man with a massive..brain. His cock size, which I described as about six and a half to seven inches, is just above average. The UK average is five and a half. But being tiny cunted, most penises seem big to me. In fact, I have heard that the original interview has been found and someone is posting it up so I shall let the Madame know when I have more information. Re ABC and 'Zillionaire', this was their second most successful record because it was a US number 1 dance record and the album was on the Billboard top 10, or was it Top 2O, for many weeks. And this was when you had to sell more than 50 records to get to number 1 like now. As for 'Lavinia' - I'm sorry darling, I can't take anyone seriously with a name like that. Anyway, at least everyone knows now that reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated though you'd be forgiven for thinking I'd gone to an early grave. It takes more than a ton of heroin and being used by a chubby old Ozzie goat to sink the descendent of an IRA general. Thanks for all the interest, people.xxxFiona R Pnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-13405350035202447612009-06-19T11:40:44.314+01:002009-06-19T11:40:44.314+01:00I find it interesting that his is his point of vie...I find it interesting that his is his point of view in the matter...<br /><a href="http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/showbiz/article-905325-details/No+time+to+stand+on+dignity/article.do" rel="nofollow">No time to stand on dignity<br />By Andrew Billen - Evening Standard 28.06.01 </a><br /><br />(extracts of Clive J's interview)<br />"Let's talk about love. I think love hits men straight away, full force, in all its complexity. That's a difference between men and women. We're ...<br />.... The question is what you do about it and I figured out fairly early that loving someone else, which might happen every five minutes, wasn't a good enough reason to break up a marriage...<br />... a woman who claimed, without contradiction, to have had a five-month affair with him in the Eighties accused him of invading her privacy. Fiona Russell Powell said he had identified her by pouring details of her personal life into Brrm! Brrm!<br />...From the fearful rictus his mouth forms, I know I've spoken the nameless question he has dreaded all along.<br />"Yes, she was definitely one of the models for a character, but there are a dozen of them. I think most novelists, even amateur novelists like me, compose characters out of an amalgam, a synthesis of people." He pauses. "She certainly had a right to say that. She was identifiable by a hair."<br />So he would apologise to her for that? "I did," he says.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-63034520798398523862009-06-19T10:42:49.773+01:002009-06-19T10:42:49.773+01:00Please move on from this dismal cul de sacPlease move on from this dismal cul de sacLavinianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-21364837381223689472009-06-18T18:08:13.903+01:002009-06-18T18:08:13.903+01:00Zillionaire is awful.Zillionaire is awful.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-18029127415324018072009-06-18T09:29:03.020+01:002009-06-18T09:29:03.020+01:00At the risk of incurring Fiona's wrath but I l...At the risk of incurring Fiona's wrath but I like Clive James. He was very gentle with her I thought, calling her darling, when another man would have told her where to go. I loved Brrm Brrm and I had no idea Austen was based on Fiona till I read it here. makes me wonder why Fiona keeps banging on about it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-38908508785534955142009-06-18T01:51:53.020+01:002009-06-18T01:51:53.020+01:00I can tell already that saying this is as pointles...I can tell already that saying this is as pointless as trying to convince Steph to get over the feeling of injustice that someone "like" (whatever she thinks he is) Kevin what's.his.face has got from life such "fame and prestige" (or popularity and recognition or whatever it is she thinks he's got) but I'll try anyway.<br /><br />Fiona dear, the guy as you say, is an "utter cunt"; if anyone doubts it, just look at how he talks <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ww3f3YTZbQw" rel="nofollow">here</a>, specially starting at 1:00. I'm surprised it took you years to figure that out, but then again I don't know you well (yes, the affair lasted 5 mo., but you say you didn't quite realise what he was until you confronted him - and still had the gall to ask you to renew the shagging!).<br /><br />But you see, that is exactly why this old fart has probably read this post and is absolutely.loving.it! This scum is approaching 70 and has a smart, attractive, woman (what? 15 years his junior?) talking about how he fucked her literally and figuratively and continues to get away with it because there is nothing she can do about it. Does anyone else see where I'm going with this? At his age this is all he's got to boost his ego and feel good about himself: all the stories of all the pairs of legs he has got in between and how none of the women in his life have done a thing about it (specially his horned wife).<br /><br />The best revenge against this piece of work is to "forget" to include him in your memoirs, because he is not relevant enough, compared to all the truly exciting things that have happened to you, to be mentioned; his biggest fear is to be not remembered by his past conquests - notice how he bragged to you about them (I wonder he is even telling the truth, he, he; He probably was trying hard to sell you what "catch" he was).<br /><br />But I have the felling you will not do that; you still talk about his schlong as if it is quite remarkable (6 1/2? that's b.a.r.e.l.y above average - then again I only fall for men with big... hands) and I'm thinking that in your mind he must be some special thing like a first love or something crazy like that.<br /><br />It's so frustrating to me to see things like this happen to women that could do so much better.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-58291932491513994492009-06-18T00:22:53.829+01:002009-06-18T00:22:53.829+01:00can we get some more ladies to give us an insight...can we get some more ladies to give us an insight into just what is Clive James secret that attracts the ladies ?. Technique, size, charisma ?. It certainly can't be looks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-64313008848199568982009-06-18T00:02:54.938+01:002009-06-18T00:02:54.938+01:00But his belly makes it look tinyBut his belly makes it look tinyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30643113.post-2320770662148222962009-06-17T23:52:40.619+01:002009-06-17T23:52:40.619+01:00Fiona should write a short novel about a promising...Fiona should write a short novel about a promising hackette who gets screwed by an Australian TV critic, novelist and "polymath". It would like the Henry Miller/Anais Nin story.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com