First, my congratulations to gifted Oscar for winning a place at the Royal College of Art. You see, I react to others' news. Oscar starts there in the autumn. This is no mean accomplishment. Roger tells me that only 16 places were up for grabs against a tide of aspirant millions. Do watch Oscar's affecting degree movie below - John & Iris - which creatively blends reminiscence with interpretive animation.
But there's a problem - money!
Would someone out there, with perhaps a bulge in his or her pocket - a tent even - kindly consider sponsoring him or otherwise granting Oscar a sum so that he may complete his studies. Please email Madamearcati69@aol.com with your offer which I'll pass onto Roger.
As Roger explains: "Newspapers and magazines don't want to pay for my prose, and publishers now offer contracts without advances on royalties! So unless you are either a po-faced academic, with a nice fat salary and index-linked pension pot, or a TV celebrity producing ghosted memoir shite, that's it for books. Or Lewis' books. Nevertheless, in a Seasonal Suicide Notes sequel I want to do for 2015, it will be called I'LL JUST DIE & THEN YOU'LL BE SORRY."
Well, we don't want that! So please, people. Cough up - you don't really need that patio decking or that new Dutch pension plan.
In other news, I did enjoy Roger's Kafka essay in Craig Raine's Arete publication ("whatever an Arete is," Roger wonders aloud in his email to me). In it he writes of someone called Pinky June - some kind of porn star, I think - who "smokes cigarettes with her twat." He adds: "Pinky at least won’t get lung cancer in a hurry, inhaling in that fashion."
Now that we're the wiser for that, do relish Oscar's film - and think seriously about how we can fund the poppet's studies:
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