Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Randy Fowler and Stephanie Mastini write in

Randy Fowler has written to Madame Arcati wondering why the world's best blogger wishes to punish him ...

Dear Madame Arcati,

You really think I’m under the influence of something intoxicating and trying to curry favour with my brother on having different opinions on totally unrelated topics. The real world is not so black and white as you make it out to be.

I went back and reread the interview I did earlier this year. My answers were truthful and forthright. However some of the questions proposed to me were very condescending in their nature. For example: Question 12- Tell us something about Kevin the world doesn’t know. The question itself implies the answer wants some form of dirty gossip on him. Why?

Now, even though it pains you, ya, that’s believable !! You’re going to "severely punish me for my inconstancy and insincerity on my dramatic change of tune and generously regarding my brother". Once again my attempt to bring a little light to some silly poll on Kevin’s sexuality has failed.

Do you honestly think you can hurt me after the life I’ve lived dealing with my own child abuse, Oh my, I’m shaking in my snake skin boots. What puzzles me the most is why Madame Arcati is now lashing out at me for my own opinions. Does she do this to everyone who submits articles and comments to her web site that she doesn’t agree with?

I have noticed that many of Madame Arcati’s articles don’t receive the number of posted comments as when the articles she posts have the names of Randy Fowler, Stephanie Mastini and Kevin Spacey in them are USED. Sounds like "Sauce For The Goose" to me. I never realized how famous we all are in your tiny little world of blogs. Or maybe she just can’t stand Kevin Spacey, for what ever reasons she might have, and will say anything to fuel the fires of discontent and controversy.

Should I be flattered or surprised that Madame Arcati has now decided to spend so much time, energy and effort in her campaign to destroy me? She’s going to "unleash a fury he has only heard about hitherto in Greek tragedy". Tell me what I’m suppose to apologize for? A]-Telling the truth about my relationship with my brother as it stands today? B]-Bringing to light some of my brothers less than truthful answers to his past and his claiming of events from my life for his own? Those events and memories shaped the character I have become today. They belong to me, Don’t I have the right to defend my past?

What changed my life was to face who I am and where they came from. I have to live and deal with the scars of my own child abuse everyday. Unless you’ve lived it, how can talk about it?

C]- I wonder why the world is so fixated on Kevin’s sexuality? I know that this is not the apology Madame Arcati was hoping to receive from me. I’m still trying to figure The WHY part? This quote from one of your readers says it all. "Never apologize, it's a sign of weakness. "Buddy Ackerman" (played by Kevin Spacey) in "Swimming with sharks".

"Well, there it is"

Sincerely with love

Randy Fowler

Dear Randy,

Thank you Randy. Your fate rests with my global audience (though most of them don't know how to vote, sadly - thick bitches). MA x PS Oh, and Stephanie has written to Madame Arcati's and her addicted fans, too ...

Dear Dear, Claire, JP, Non,mastini, anonymist,anons, etc., etc.

Your ignonominousness comments have hit a brick wall...we are tired of the insidious, cut and paste, mental masturbation antics...Appropriately, Madame Defarge's "off with your head" cries apply here...your blogs emulate true abuse and typical behavior of jealous, psychologically fucked human beings...I am disgusted with all of your contemptuous non-mastini's)WE ARE TIRED OF YOUR SATIRICAL MASQUERADING..take off your masks!

..your personas are burnt out..This isn't about Kevin, it's about humanity and respect for the endurance of abusive from family (ironically fathers' abuse) Shakespeare sums up the worth of your statements (devoid of emotion..)

Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

--From Macbeth (V, v, 19)

Follow the yellow brick road and meet your maker..hopefully he will grant you the gift of a heart, but I sincerely doubt it.

Stephanie Mastini

Dear Stephanie,

Thank you darling. Do write more. I love it!

MA x

Kevin Spacey: innocent invitations

Published in 2006: nothing illegal claimed here; just an insight....

On November 20 2001 Kevin Spacey and Jude Law topped the bill along with Dame Judi Dench and Art Garfunkel at the Unite for the Future gala concert at London's Old Vic. Tickets, priced as much as £525, were sold out.

The event had been arranged at short notice by Sarah Farish, the wife of the US Ambassador William Farish, which went onto raise £400,000 for three causes united by the events of September 11th.

Guests included Chelsea Clinton, Bianca Jagger and Vanessa Redgrave.

On the morning of the concert Art Garfunkel arrived at around seven with his "people" and among them was a young, good-looking American man who worked for the singer whom we'll call X.

Kevin took an instant interest in X: his body language changed. After Garfunkel's entourage had unpacked, Spacey asked to be introduced to X. The actor focused on the young man as he does with others: it's a very powerful effect. Later that afternoon Spacey asked to be introduced to two male Eritrean jugglers. He didn't want to go up to them and say "Hi, I'm Kevin". He wanted to be introduced.

That evening the concert ended about 10.30 and the traditional high-spirited after-show party ensued.
Andrew Lloyd-Webber got pretty well pissed and at some point he sat at the piano and sang his old songs - it was all very jolly.

At the end of the evening Spacey joined Garfunkel and a few others and invited X to return with him to the Atheneaum - where they were all staying - for a drink and X readily agreed. In the early hours, as the small crowd milled about at the bar, Spacey said to X: "Do you want to have a nightcap?" He indicated he meant in his (Spacey's) room. X declined.

Towards morning after everyone had retired, Spacey found out X's room number and phoned him asking: "Are you sure you don't want a drink?"

X replied: "Quite sure, thank you".
c by Madame Arcati 2006

Kevin Spacey: 'His Mom said he was gay, sort of'

Kevin Spacey's former sister-in-law Stephanie Mastini has wriiten to Arcati with something more to say about her former brother-in-law ...

Mastini Art Sale

Happy belated birthday Madame, my computer is back but still not right.

I would like to comment on Kevin's statement regarding his pen-to-paper responses to ALL his mail ... that is a load of shit. He has not only not had the courtesy to reply to his brother's phone calls in the past, but he sends back every card Randy sends him. He has been doing this for years, even before Randy's literary retrospect of his life. He sends his mail back unopened ... CARDS wishing him well ... so, you may want to start bashing me but it is the truth.

As far as his sexuality: he is talented enough to have been able to create a character even in his real life. Randy and I knew he was gay over 17 years ago; his Mom is the one that told us at dinner in her round about way; we caught it. Believe me, I have nothing personal against the man. But I can't tolerate his coarse and aloof attitude to his family: I have been privy to many a phone call that Randy attempted to make to communicate with Kevin and he has never returned one, NEVER.

He may answer his fan mail but ... he prefers weiners ... you get the picture (not a homophobic remark, just facts) and put it to rest. You all read the news about his "attack" in a gay park at night ... enough said ... Kevin, I hope you didn't send Randy's creative and heartfelt card back this year ... he had it hand delivered to him Christmas time and it was "sent back" again unopened ... there is no excuse for that behavior.

Get off the stage Kevin, for a brief moment to acknowledge you are hurting your brother ... but I guess you don't care ... you are too busy answering your "fans".

Is this an example of a "weiner" as kindly demonstrated by footballer Cristiano Ronaldo? Arcati is soooo innocent. My thanks to Lemon Jizz whereat other images will be found.

Kevin Spacey inspires gay novel

I am intrigued to learn that writer Robin Tamblyn is helping to fund the Kevin Spacey lifestyle - or you might think so if you didn't know all the facts.

A little while ago Mr Tamblyn (who has a pet Venus Fly Trap called Kevin) wrote a very fine novel titled King of Hollywood that features a closeted Hollywood movie idol (btw, see Spencer Tracy below) - "He ruthlessly pursued success and soon captured an Academy Award, but could never win that most elusive of trophies - love," it says in the blurb.

In some, but not all respects, this hero's life appears to resemble certain characteristics of Spacey's - to such an extent that Tamblyn has felt it incumbent on himself to share in the proceeds from sales and send Spacey occasional cheques at the Old Vic.

Says Tamblyn, who says he's descended from Elizabethan spymaster Sir Francis Walsingham: "I send him half of the royalties I get for King of Hollywood (and one sixth of the royalties I get for Medium Everything: Collected Writings) in the form of a cheque made payable to the Old Vic Theatre Trust. The first one was for about £20 and I got a nice letter back from the development department saying: 'Thank you for your generous donation,' but since then they haven't been cashed. He doesn't send them back though, so I don't know what happens to 'em..."

Spacey should be proud to be the part-inspiration for Hollywood - a witty, fast-paced gay thriller that ends ... well, not as Spacey would wish for himself. If you want to buy a copy go to http://www.robintamblyn.com/ to start with.

Monday, October 30, 2017

What Elton said to Spacey

Due to a tech glitch this old post got lost so I am reposting ... so continue to send abusive comments, or otherwise ...

With Kevin Spacey in mind, my mind turns to a long conversation I had with a close associate of the actor (this is not a gay outing site, incidentally - it's just the new beige right now in Arcati-land).

Anyway, his associate - let's call him Quentin. I asked Quentin a simple question: Why is Spacey so bothered about being viewed as gay? This was the reply:

"I don't know. According to David Furnish, Elton John asked Kevin to a lunch or dinner party in the South of France. And Elton asked him direct about his sexuality and apparently Kevin got quite pretty cross and wouldn't answer the question.

"Elton said: 'Everyone knows you're a screaming queen, why don't you come clean?' and Kevin got very cross. It's partly to do with the way Hollywood works but it's also part of the matinee idol thing where he wants to be the leading man, and he's not. He would really have to be Johnny Depp .... "

Some point soon I will publish the entire conversation with Quentin on Spacey.

Randy Fowler: I don't exist to my bro Kevin Spacey

Randall (“Randy”) Fowler is the older brother of Hollywood star Kevin Spacey. Back in 2004, Randy told a British newspaper that as a child he was regularly raped by their father, Thomas, but that Spacey was spared. He also revealed that their father was obsessed with pornography, was anti-Semitic and a member of the American Nazi Party: no wonder Spacey took his mother’s maiden name in adulthood.

Asked about Spacey’s sexuality, Randy repeated his brother’s words to him: "I don't consider myself heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual - just sexual."

Randy lives in Boise, Idaho, with his wife Trish. He agreed to do an email interview with me. I was interested to know where he was with his memoirs, about his life and thoughts today and about his relationship with Spacey – who still refuses to talk to him.

How are you today (please include any health ailments, emotional condition) as you write?

I have no health ailments and my emotional condition is very different from when I was growing up and most of my adult life, until I finally had the courage to have my biography written. Then everything changed in me and in my thought process - when I commissioned Jack Ewing to write my life story. I was not interested in painting myself out to be some prince charming. I wanted to tell the awful and painful truth about child abuse and how it spun my life on a path of complete emotional chaos and a life filled mostly with regrets about the choices I had made.

However, something miraculous happened to me while I was constructing the digital picture timeline of the book, which contained over 25,000 photos, documents and memorabilia. The patterns of my life started to emerge before my eyes. It was very painful to see all the bad decisions I made during my life. While narrating the contents of the story to tape for the writer, it was the hardest thing I ever did. Articulating my thoughts and truth was like regurgitating a poison from my mind and soul, which completely changed me.

I don’t recommend this form of therapy to victims of child abuse. It takes too many years to sort out. I recommend telling someone you can trust, immediately. Don’t let these “creatures” continue their sick lifestyle, [preying] on innocent children, who want nothing but to be loved.

Describe Boise briefly – would you want to live elsewhere? Does it have scenery? - what can you see from your windows?

Boise is known as “the city of trees”. It’s very beautiful, and we are surrounded by mountains, and the climate is quite mild compared to other places I’ve lived.

I haven’t considered living anywhere else. Boise is my home and I love the people here. We live in a condominium near the Boise River, with access to the Boise Green Belt walking path.

The world knows you as Kevin Spacey’s brother. Do you realize you’re famous – do you get fan mail?

Famous is a not a word I’d use. I have no ego attached to who I am or what I may represent to other people. When I wake up each morning and look in the mirror, I always laugh at myself. The people in Idaho treat me like a movie star, but I don’t treat them as if I’m a movie star. I always give everyone I meet the time and love I would want when I meet someone for the first time. I’m just a regular guy, I work, pay my bills, just like everybody else.

As far as everyone knowing me as Kevin Spacey’s brother, I never really tell people that. They hear it or already know it. I’ve never tried to ride on my brother’s coat-tails. I’m my own person. Now you ask, if that’s true: "Why is your brother’s photo on [the cover of] your book, and you have a website called www.spaceysbrother.com?" Good question, here’s my answer.

I had this book written for my own healing purposes and as a help book for other sexually abused people. There is healing, hope, redemption and resolution to this terrible crime perpetrated [on] our kids.

In this media crazy world, who’s going to read a book about child abuse without a “hook”? I can’t help who my brother is. He’s very fortunate that he didn’t have to go through what I did as a child growing up. If he had, he may not have turned out to be the great actor and movie star he is today.

You can’t run from the past and where you came from forever. In the end it will literally eat you up from the inside out, and leave you completely empty inside with no feelings toward the people that should matter: family, friends and relationships.

As far as “fan mail”, I do receive a number of e-mails each day from visitors to the website, and I answer each and every one. I am a very accessible person.

You’ve written a book (Spacey’s Brother: Out of the Closet) about your life and Kevin? Will it be published or self-published?

This book is not about Kevin. He’s a very minor character in the book, just like in my real life. There are around a thousand personal and family photos throughout the book to support the narrative. This book deals with the after-effects of child abuse and the dangers of living in silence. We are currently shopping for a publisher. I would love to have a publisher from the United Kingdom.

You told the Mail on Sunday quite a lot about your father who sexually abused you. Does this still haunt you or has the memory receded?

What I told the Mail on Sunday was just the tip of the iceberg of my painful childhood. Only those who have been sexually abused can truly know the full impact of this crime. How can someone who supposedly loves you do this to a young child? These child molesters live in their own little world with no regard [to] or regret about what they do to children. They are incurable and need to be locked up and tagged like an animal. Children that are abused are scared on many levels. They make decisions based on feelings not facts, which will inevitably get them into trouble with the choices they make.

Many abused people deal with it by not dealing with it at all. They bury their feelings deep within their subconscious mind and hope they will just forget about it. This is a very dangerous path to take and it will come back to haunt them eventually.

I was one of the lucky ones, because I embraced what happened to me and spent the greater part of my life searching for the answers to this horrible puzzle that haunted my emotional state of mind. I could have ended up a criminal, alcoholic, or even worse, dead.

After thirty-five years of searching for the truth, I am finally at peace with myself and who I have become today. The Randy of my youth doesn’t even exist anymore. It’s just a distant memory of someone else dead and gone. I have no regrets or bitterness toward my parents or family.

What disappoints me the most is not having a relationship with my brother and sister, no matter how hard I’ve tried to reach out to them throughout the years. They want nothing to do with me. In their solar system I don’t even exist!

Some media have been rude about you ... what's your response to this?

I knew from the beginning, having this book written, the media was going to manipulate the truth, print partial quotes and outright lies about me. The media’s only concern is to sell tabloids. I guess they feel printing the truth isn’t what’s important. Don’t they realize that the truth is far more interesting than fiction?

For example, I had the news media hiding out in the bushes where I live, taking photos of me. A week later they would show up in tabloids with a full-page article. They made it appear that I invited them into my home for an interview. I’ve had to grow a tough layer of skin when it comes to dealing with the media. In the end the whole truth will come out about this book.

Has Kevin ever got in touch with you about the book?

No, the only time he has called me in the last twenty-six years is if someone dies in our family. He never calls just to say hi to his brother.

Did you receive a Christmas card this year from him? Did you send him

I’ve sent him a Christmas card and birthday card every year for the last twenty-seven years. I’ve never got a card in return from him ever. The Christmas card I sent to him this year was returned to me. On the envelope was written: “Return to sender, person not known at this address” and was handwritten. There was also a white label pasted over his name. This is something I’ve never seen a post office do. Maybe things are done differently in the UK.

What’s your principal job? In pictures you look like you’d make a great entertainer.

I was a professional drummer for over thirty years and played in forty-one states and two countries. I retired when I decided to have my biography written. I’m now a full-time limousine chauffeur in Boise Idaho. I work for “Boise Limousine Service”. I’m the most flamboyant chauffeur in town. With my Rod Stewart looks and flashy clothes I get many clients who request me to drive them for their special occasion. I’m very fortunate to be so popular in town. I love my job even more than drumming. I always get to meet new and interesting people.

Do you believe in God, intelligent design, nothing? Creationism is making a comeback in the States ….

Oh no, the “God” Question! No matter how I answer it, either half the people will agree or disagree with me, and the other half will be offended. I guess all I can say is I’m currently not playing church. it seems to be a place where people come to compare wardrobes in multi-million dollar buildings. I think if Christ came back today he would be very disappointed with his flock. We have forgotten the essence of what he was trying to say. Love and take care of each other.

Have you ever visited London?

Yes, our family visited London once in December of 1973 for two weeks, regardless of what you’ve read in the media. I would love to visit London again. I have a very good friend who lives in Exeter, Devon.

Tell us something about Kevin the world doesn’t know.

I know plenty of things about Kevin Spacey the world doesn’t know. I didn’t do this interview to upset him in anyway, or have him never want to contact me! My only hope is that a London publisher will find me to be just as interesting as my brother and a bit more revealing about my personal life and my past.

I will continue to reach out to him as long as I live. It doesn’t really matter what we do during the day, what’s important at the end of the day is our relationship with family.

What’s your view of him as an actor? Do you see his movies?

He’s one of our generation's most accomplished actors. Kevin received two Academy Awards at such a young age. Only one word comes to mind to describe his acting ability, “brilliant”.

I’m so very proud of him and what he has done as an actor. I’ve seen everything he has ever done at least once out of respect to him. I also have his complete TV and movie collection on tape, plus thousands of photos and memorabilia of him over the last twenty-seven years.

Have you ever thought to act?

Yes I have. Do you know anybody that would hire me? Call me, we’ll do lunch. I’m always up for new challenges in my life. I’ve always been a risk-taker.

One of my friends once told me, “The best actor in your family is still
up for grabs”.

Whom do love most in the world?

That’s easy, “Trish my Dish“, my wife of thirteen years. I’m just as much in love with her as the day we met. She’s helped save me from a life of repeating the same mistakes I made with my first three wives. Yes, three wives in ten years while I was pursuing my obsession with drumming.

There once was a time when things were so very hard for us, especially watching my brother’s rise to fame. We struggled just to eat. But I’ve looked at myself and my brother in a whole new perspective since my biography was finished. Doing this book was a cleansing process for my soul.

Have you ever had your future foretold?

No I haven’t, what would be the point? To have someone else dictate my future seems like a cowardly thing to do. I’ll make my own future with good decisions based on facts.

Do you have a recurring image of your childhood?

Of course I do, I haven’t had a lobotomy! My recurring image is not of me, but of all the other children that are being sexual abused in the world. This is why I had this book written. When it finally gets published I plan to travel around the country and speak to middle school kids about child abuse. Kids like me and seem to listen to me, because I don’t look or act like their parents.

Abused children hide their pain and feelings quite well, and are not easily
persuaded to trust someone with their terrible secret. They are frightened of what might happen to them if someone finds out what’s going on in their lives. They live with their “secret pain” as it begins to destroy their very soul. Their lives begin to take a path of dangerous consequences.

My advice to an [abused] child is to tell someone. Fink, tattle, rat, scream and
shout at the top of your voice until someone notices you. The consequences of doing nothing allows the perpetrator to continue his abuse, and go unpunished.

I wish I had done this thirty-six years ago. My life could have turned out differently. I was scared and didn’t know I had any options. There was no one to talk to or trust.

What did you have for breakfast this morning?

I had my usually breakfast, a cup of coffee with a Baily’s back. ..“Well, there it is“...

Visit Randy's site via this LINK - it features a sample chapter from his memoirs.

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

The BBC's Simon McCoy: what to do with this scamp!

I see that at long last the increasingly sclerotic Daily Mail has awoken to the BBC peril called Simon McCoy. Ninety-nine percent of you reading this will be thinking 'Simon who?' but never mind about that. He's a presenter on BBC News (Channel 231 on Freeview - I do cheap dearies). Simon presents a credibly serious face for deaths, economic stats and terrorism. Then, suddenly (following news of an assassination or a beached whale) the eyebrows quiver and lift as he giggle-pauses his way through a non-serious item, such as an arts or doggy story or anything starring Boris Johnson or the Windsors. He does snigger a lot in the old Dennis The Menace comic way, joshes the artist-cum-Atlantic-depression-correspondent Tomasz Schafernake (btw, a brilliant photographic portraitist - cute little bastard) and toys naughtily with sports hacks who just want to tell us about Leyton Orient. If Simon wishes to sue over the use of "toys naughtily", I'll see you in court.

Fellow presenter Jane Hill (who fancies herself as a film and fashion critic) always pulls pained expressions if they're on together. The things she cannot say to preserve the illusion of worldly tolerance!

Simon needs to lose about three stone and even more of ego: but let's not body-shame the poppet. School boy smirking is a hallmark as is peering down at his desk prior to another irony. At least one misery-guts weatherman appears to be irritated by the handover banter. Simon needs modern hair restyling. The suit - it must be better tailored. Let's deal with the 'peril'.

The Mail today reported his sarcasm about the latest royal unborn sprog in Kate's womb. Fancy picking on a lickle foetus. Appalling. He doesn't think news of a royal birth time is news - and actually he's quite right.

But is he briefed to allow his personal tastes to colour the news tone?

Lately, he's started calling his segment 'Afternoon Live' (AL), which perhaps is his answer to Saturday Night Live. We are now witness to an attempted Caesarian of a news 'personality' in the Reginald Bosanquet tradition. So, once upon a time, earnest people in business suits stood in front of graphs and told us that the FTSE ("footsie") was down a point or two. Now they sit at a desk a la Kenneth Williams to Simon's Joan Rivers and relate the stocks and shares theatrics in a chuckly chat show format. Instead of facts-delivery we have news fishing where the viewer is expected to land the odd nugget from the torrents of Simon's quips and interruptions. Everything ends up drowned.

This has to stop. News must be lucidly dull. It is incumbent on news deliverers to sit there without a personality and just tell us what happened today. Allow the terrorists/politicians/film director-wankers/others to entertain us. Think Moira Stuart. Think Gordon Honeycombover. Even Selina Scott caused widespread narcolepsy with her unceasing froideur. I do not want to know about Simon McCoy's sense of humour or of his bromance with Tomasz Schafernake (he's mine, bitch). The stand-up must stand down.

Just get back to being a suit facing the camera. At 56 consider yourself lucky still to be employed, dearie - possession of a cock probably helps in that respect. Ooh - a quip!

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Kate Moss does George Michael with her barnacle lips

I loved the George Michael film Freedom. Such a surprise too last night. The TV listings mags, printed these days on Andrex rolls, had not made much of it; so I felt like I had been mugged by a very lovely Santa when he just popped up unheralded on TV - George! Oh but I'm not going to review it. I leave that sort of thing to the indentured slaves on rags, poor poppets. What will they do with themselves when they are retired at 41? Drink themselves to death? Find a deity? Edit an inflight magazine?

No, it's Kate Moss I come to praise, or evaluate, or at least notice. She kicked off the docu-film - and at first, one had to absorb the shock of her actually talking to camera. Pure Estuary, darling; a great career preservative these days. But it's her lips that fascinate me and what she does with them. Some time back, in the British Vogue fly-on-the-wall doc Absolutely Fashion, I saw for the first time this trick: that when the camera is on her, she moves her lips about as if inviting the lens to enter her mouth: semi-pouting, closing, parting, rippling, closing: it's a gentle pulsation, a slow-mo twitching or part-gurning that only involves her bouche. All done silently, on automatic. In the street this behaviour might invite alarmed comment. She was doing this again last night in Freedom. Before she said her little piece about George, she weirdly lipped us. Why? This wasn't a fashion shoot. The barnacle performs a similar motion with its mouth before feathery cirri emerge to grab plankton. Kate is absent of cirri which is just as well. I can't imagine the London Look would last long if she had cirri lunging out of her gob for a Pret a-Manger sarnie.

After Kate had said what she said, the lips started motioning salaciously again. Decades in fashion have left her with this curious habit. She learned a long time ago that gently moving the lips about increases the likelihood of an interesting shot being caught for the magazines. But on TV, outside the photographers' studios, she just looks very odd, as if in the midst of a sultry stroke she has decided on a last bout of self-pleasuring. But she does it well. Better than those bimbos on Babestation.

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Si Newhouse never looked at data? Oh Anna Wintour!

I was sorry that Si Newhouse - who built Condé Nast's glossy mags division into an empire of highly lucrative scented-page snobbery (Vogue, Vanity Fair, Details, GQ and so on) - passed away before he met moi. How distressing! Actually, I missed the news of his death at age 89 altogether and only learned of it from Alexandra Shulman's new, most entertaining column on the Business of Fashion website. He was sucked up the astral tunnel on October 1 or thereabouts. I wonder who greeted the poppet in the afterlife. We shall never know.

Naturally, I googled the obits - and was most fascinated to see what Anna Wintour had to say about him. After all, he raised her to the heights of the American Vogue editorship (and beyond) and was immeasurably delighted by her editorial genius and celebrity glamour. Both Scorpio, they would have appreciated in each other the fervent desire to keep so much under wraps while the next chapter was plotted if not connived.

But, oh dear! Did Anna know Si at all? I have just been reading her Newhouse statement on Vogue.com. One line stands out: “Si never looked at data or statistics, but went with his instincts and expected his editors to do the same. He urged us to take risks and was effusive in his praise when they paid off."

He never looked at data or stats? Can this be true? I don't think so. We have to go to Thomas Maier's book Newhouse to get some hard facts as opposed to Anna's entrancing tosh. On page 63, for example, there's this: "Ascending to the role of chairman of Condé Nast Publications in 1975, Si became a devotee of market surveys and scrutinised the circulation reports to see how readers reacted to each magazine cover...and how they liked each feature inside." In another passage: "Armed with this information [the market research data], the editors working for Si Newhouse were expected to adhere to the computer results in making their decisions."

We learn that "Diana Vreeland [Vogue siren of Sixties' indulgences] particularly objected to the Newhouse concept and its reliance on marketing rather than artistic considerations or editorial judgement."

Perhaps Si changed as he got older but I have yet to meet anyone who very much alters over the decades, except to get droopier and more irritable before the dementia plateau. I suppose maintenance of the sepia tint on memory requires bullshit to be spouted.

All this does remind me of one thing, though: I really must find myself an Anna Wintour for my post-death eulogy. Her (or his?) words, "Madame Arcati never said a bad word against anyone", will resonate through media jails and trigger much in the way of chortling.