Because most blogs are dreary in the extreme

Because most blogs are dreary in the extreme or just hack columns stuck on a space called blog I thought I'd return for a little while to show you how it's done.

The first thing to do as a blogger is to write as you would to a friend or foe. You can drop all those airs and graces.

Most people don't read closely but just skim before they skip off to do something probably not legal. They're in a hurry though they usually can't tell you why. It may be that something's cooking in the microwave or there's a screaming brat to play up to, but in most cases, hurrying is in itself the reason for hurrying. So I adopt a hurried style to match the hurried reading, with hurried reasoning. That way the hurried don't feel you're trying to button-hole them with wordy wankery and in consequence they feel in tune with the rush.

Hurrying is essentially pomposity about one's time and importance. The act of applying oneself to another person's energy emission is ever-so slightly humbling and so ought not to be protracted for fear of giving power away. And that ought not to be encouraged.

It goes without saying that anything read in a rush will be quickly forgotten because there's so much more to read in a hurry. No wonder people say time flies. No wonder people flee to the death camp Dignitas at the age of 54.

The new Madame Arcati has no fiances or fiancees, and admires no one in particular (though special projects or events may detain me). When I am in thoughtful mode, I shall continue to hurry but will adopt a cryptic way of writing in order to cause consternation or dredge-up deeply buried memories.

You can go now.