Thursday, December 24, 2009

A Merry Christmas from Madame Arcati - and my festive stats


Sexy me, and your soul essence in my globular tool. No, I Am Not Alone, promise. Not much. Yet, save me from Love & Violence. Bryn! Bryn! In like Bryn! Give me an All Over The World. Yet, I'm, I'm, I'm - NOT A NUMBER!

To old friends of this blog, thank you for your continued interest and support and for your comments, ideas, tip-offs, referrals, what have you. To newcomers, foundlings, discoverees, curiosities - thank you, too. Madame is your mummy and a talisman of not inconsiderable effect.

To you all, I wish the Merriest of Christmases and the most productive of New Years.

To the rest - well, my analytics report tells me approximately where you're from, journalists especially: some of you hoped I could be ignored into extinction - the same way you decide news agendas and what's interesting or significant. Or not. My analytics report lists all the news media that visit me - led by Associated Newspapers, home of the Daily Mail.

Blogging has made me realise what a waste of time and energy much of journalism is beyond functional reportage and analysis. For the most part I have only pity for the indentured hacks on newspapers and magazines forced to churn out PR crap and editor-spun faction, usually under the lash of law-breaker bullies modelled on the Andy Coulsons of this world. Why is Coulson still working for the Etonian Tories, btw?

Madame Arcati is a small site with a loud voice. Between Christmases '08 and '09, 329,286 people visited this blog, up 2.14% on the previous year, accounting for the 713,152 pageviews. Many readers came through other website referrals; and my thanks especially to Popbitch, Digital Spy, Twitter, Facebook, the Aesthete's Lament blog, Frances Lynn's blog, mega-PR Mark Borkowski's website, and many others, for their story links and contributions.

Though Madame Arcati is a British blog, Americans make up my biggest national readership group followed by the Brits. Canada is at No 3, Australia at No 4, Germany at No 5, with strong showings from Italy, the Netherlands, France and the Philippines. My love to my one reader in Liechtenstein and the two on the Falkland Islands.

In 2010 the person that is Madame Arcati resolves to deepen an interest in the irrational science of astrology, write only about what arises from personal interest and, of course, marry Molly Parkin - legally or not.

26 comments:

Green Goddess said...

Marry MOLLY? What marry Molly? What about ME?

Madame Arcati said...

Sssh, Molly may see ...

A famous editor said...

Madanme Arcati is a less nasty blog than it was two years ago and more interesting as a result. It remains a very peculiar site and your refusal to specialise means you lose many audiences who might stick with you if only the site could settle down and be a little predictable. But of course that would be to 'sell out' now you're an indie hack on a crusade. Merry Christmas.

Anonymous said...

This blog is the only one I read on a regular basis.

Madame Arcati said...

Julie Burchill told me this year, "I only read your blog. I don't read blogs. Do you understand?" That was then ...

The late J.J. Hunsecker said...

You're the best!

Anonymous said...

Hope you die choking on chestnut shells and coughing up blood.

The late Stephen Spender said...

Dear Anon, where is your sense of poetry? Madame wouldn't be able to cough up blood, plasma more like.

Anonymous said...

No offence everyone but Madame Arcati is the only blog I can read.

not Michael Gross said...

MA DARLING! Only love and continued inspiration for truly the UK's best blogeuse. Greetings from across the pond.

Madame Arcati said...

Michael darling, one of America's finest reporter-scribes. May your bells dingle-dangle, or whatever bells do, over this festive period of enforced gluttony.

And to the others, thank you thank you. I assume I would cough up blood first before death by chestnut shells: and why would I be trying to chew shells? I'm sure even Hugh Fearnley-Whatisname would caution against such culinary adventurism.

Anonymous said...

Madame Arcati - Gesegnete Weihnachten und ein glückliches neues Jahr!
xx

veritas said...

Yes and a Merry everything etc back to you and many thanks for some of the best reading in the internet stratosphere.

So good to hear you will be delving deeper into the exact science of astrology which is particularly relevant at this time of the year-for finally you may be able to settle the perplexing reason why a celebration is held on this day for the birth of that perfect seer who every right thinking person should know was an obvious Virgo. And may even share the very same day as me and the late Michael Jackson.
Has anyone ever met a virgo who wasn't a martyr ?.

Will you and the lovely Molly be making babies ?

xx

Madame Arcati said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Madame Arcati said...

'Tis true, Virgo is the sign of the martyr and passive aggressive - they're very good on detail however, as was MJ.

Molly and I are concerned about our carbon footprint. So rather than burden the world with another munching, demanding homosap, we'll adopt a kitten and inject it with hormones to stay that way.

Merry merry xxx

Jonathan King said...

Hugely merry Christmas to Madame and her intelligent readers.

Madame Arcati said...

And festive best wishes to you Jonathan. To more sales of your excellent memoirs, 65 My Life So Far. x

Anonymous said...

Best blog around. Don't know how you keep it up. xx

Blithe Spirit said...

Merry Christmas morning to you MA darling. I wish for you that Father Christmas has filled your stoking with huge Christmas crackers stuffed with wonderful unexpected surprises for the coming year and ideas to keep you "unpredictable". If your unpredictability looses you some, it for sure keeps you the bulk of your readers. We all have a bit of Gemini in us and sooner or later tire of routine. Keeping us in suspense and wondering what is next is what keeps us coming back, even when we are going mad with busy work. I don't read any other blogger regularly either.

Best of love pookie, always... xx

Madame Arcati said...

Thank you Blithe, you're always welcome. And here's wishing you the best of the New Year, with a tincture of something from Lochnagar.

Sue George said...

Merry Christmas Madame. It astonishes me that we can read your wonderful blog for absolutely nothing, yet have to pay for the tripe that comprises so much of the national press. Long may your keyboard fingers be nimble. xx

Madame Arcati said...

From you, Sue, high praise. Thank you.

I wish you a productive 2010. xx

Anonymous said...

MA has sold out. I see ads between blogs. The times they are a'changin' my friend...

Duralex said...

<< Madame Arcati is a small site with a loud voice. >>

Or a loud site with a small voice...

Sorry, couldn't resist it. Merry belated Christmas, Madame. I hope Santa gave a well-deserved sweep to your chimney !

Madame Arcati said...

Rupert Murdoch is now running Madame Arcati.

Madame Arcati said...

Loud enough to call you in Duralex - joyeux Noël et bonne année.