Sunday, December 31, 2006

Nicky Haslam & his "luxury stalker" Fish

Copyright 2007 by Madame Arcati

Nicky Haslam’s life appears to have been one long Belle Epoque. Go back to 1963 and there he is at a Park Avenue dinner party introducing Warhol to “Baby” Jane Holzer in the company of Mick Jagger (pre-global fame) and photographer David Bailey. Fast forward to 2006 and there he is dining with Paris Hilton and Rupert Everett at London’s Ivy. Sometime in the decades between these two events, was that him lunching with the Queen Mother at the Castle of Mey?

Profiles invariably describe this A-list party Zelig as an “interior decorator” (clients: the Queen, Prince Charles, Bryan Ferry, et al) and “international socialite” (see above; check Google). Rarely noted are his sharply observed style, society and literary reports and reviews – full of Old Testament certainty and New Testament subtlety – that are plainly the work of a gifted comic writer with a ruthless eye for detail and a long memory: this will doubtless be confirmed when his name-dropping and disclosing memoirs are published later in 2007 – more about which below.

Then there’s the Haslam Exterior. A few years ago he dumped the Savile Row suits and started to model his look on Liam Gallagher before adopting other styles - gangsta rap, mod, bondage, commando, hippie, punk - and more complex creations which he describes as "Brazilian rough trade", "ironic Byronic", "Pirate gypsy" and "Cossack meets Red Indian". This self-described link with “pre-War faggotry” is now, aged 67, a photo op guide to the latest image tropes for the hyper-fashionable (and tragic?).

In a recent Londoner’s Diary for ES Magazine Haslam boasted of his latest style acquisition – a stalker. “The ultimate luxury is a stalker,” he decreed. The “stalker” is a 17-year-old called Fish “because she hates being called Natalie”. They have become great friends.

So, I became a fisher of Haslam details and caught up with Fish herself …

Hi, Fish. Nicky Haslam mentioned you a few weeks ago in his ES diary - tell us again what he wrote about you for the benefit of those who missed it.

[He wrote] "The ultimate luxury is a stalker. I've had one for about two years, and seen him once or twice lurking round my house, or walking by the office. He's about 17, spiky haired, T-shirt and boxer-short-showing loose jeans.

"The other day he met my friend Andrew Merron in a Soho bar, and recognised Andy from pap pics with me. Well, it turns out he's a she, a brilliant artist and cartoonist, calls herself Fish because she hates Natalie, and is one of the sweetest, most giving people I've ever met.

"My music education grows daily as Fish compiles CDs of the latest tunes, and her cartoon strip of me, called King Nicky, is on her website. If only I had the intellectual luxury of being able to access it."

He mentioned a website you'd dedicated to him ...? Did I get this wrong?

It's not a website for him as such. The site that hosts the cartoons he mentioned is DeviantArt - it's a great place for artists of any ability to post their work and receive both praise and constructive criticism - I've been registered there since January 2004.

However, there are two online groups for him - The Nicholas Haslam Google Group and The Nicholas Haslam Myspace Group.


Fish, tell us a bit about yourself, you're sweet 17 ... a student? An artist?

Both, at the moment. I returned to college last September after having dropped out of my last sixth form. I'm studying Fine Art at South East Essex College - fantastic place, jam-packed with fantastic people; it's so refreshing to be in a room full of artists all day, rather than in an over-academic and under-resourced grammar school workroom for an hour or so every other day.

What exactly is your interest in Nicky - why does he fascinate you?

That is a question I've been asking myself for the last two and a half years, and whatever answers I have are difficult to put words to. He is an astoundingly intriguing man in print, and in person, as I've found. Since I've met him, the interest hasn't waned either - he's such an individual, truly one of a kind.

Some think Nicky faintly absurd, what with his preoccupation with youthfulness and parties. Is this fair?

To this, Nicky himself says that "youthfulness and parties have more of a preoccupation with me." He didn't elaborate any further.

If certain people think that he spends all day thinking of ways to 'de-age' himself and then goes out on the party circuit all night, then I find myself wondering exactly what occupies the space between their ears.

He's an incredibly busy man - when I see him, he and everyone else in the office seem to be working their socks off non-stop; yet he still finds time to do everything else on his busy schedule, and then some. It really is quite amazing. I think it's because he's always active, always working at something or other, that he's done so much in his life, and will undoubtedly do so much more in the future.

As for a preoccupation with youthfulness, in an article entitled 'How do I look? Nicky Haslam: Stitch in time' (Peter Stanford, The Independent, April 29th, 2000) "I had a face-lift... not because I was chasing youth, but because I couldn't bear the jowliness. I wanted to look well-er rather than younger. Tighter, tauter."

To me he seems more ageless than anything else... he doesn't strike me as young/old. Listening to him reveals his age a little - both the sound of his voice and the fact that he's so knowledgeable... he's like a walking encyclopedia in a way.

As for the aforementioned 'thickies', I'd suggest looking up as much Nicky-related material as possible - see what other people say about him and what else he gets upto. Maybe dismissing him as some sad "Peter Pan" figure saves them from admitting that they're not getting as much from life as they could do if they strived for it... maybe they're just jealous?

Tell us how you met him.

While the article says I met Andrew Merron (who just rocks my socks, quite frankly) in a Soho bar, it was a bit different. Andy e-mailed me about Nicky after finding out about my interest in the man through my DeviantArt blog; over time we got into e-mailing each other a lot and eventually I met him when I was in London for a gig. He told Nicky about me, which freaked me out at first, but apparently Nicky loved the idea of me and wanted to meet me. We did go to the bars in Soho, and I got stuck in London all night - I admit to being sorely tempted to camp out on Nicky's doorstep all night (it's the warmest one along the road, coincidentally) but didn't.

There's the backstory, I suppose. Meeting him was quite surreal. I was wandering around Sloane Square and happened to be at the top of the road the NH Design office is on and I spotted Nicky locking up his office. I found my feet moving towards him almost instantly, it was one of those "oh, sod it!" moments. As I got nearer him, a car door opened in front of me and blocked my path, and a large van was coming around the bend in the road so I was stuck about fifteen feet away from him. I called out "Nicky!" and waved, he saw me and gave me one of those 'should I know you?' looks - this was when the nervousness started to set in, but I couldn't exactly run away.

"Hi," I said, once I was able to get past the car and over to him, "I'm Fish."

The blank expression on his face completely changed to one of... mild shock, I suppose. "You're Fish?" he questioned, enthusiastically shaking my hand before pulling me in for one of his fantastic hugs, "I've heard so much about you!"

A conversation spanning all sorts of topics from computer systems to TopMan to a Bryan Ferry gig ensued, and before I knew it he had my number and I was walking away... in a state of shock.

What does he think of you?

I don't tend to think about what other people think about me... if I did, I'd probably have some sort of paranoia complex.

Do you see him regularly, talk on the phone, email him ...? Do you gossip together?

Since I'm skint and I live in Southend (about an hour and a half from London), it's difficult to get to the city to see both Nicky and Andy. I ring him for a chat sometimes; it'd be easier to e-mail him, but although he's got an e-mail address he hardly uses it (or so I'm told) and I'd feel guilty if I spammed up Flora's inbox (his lovely PA).

He evidently likes you. Why, do you think?

I have no idea, but I'm glad that he does and that I haven't ended up with a restraining order or anything - I was not a scary stalker! I was just overly curious about him... I never chased him down the street, begging for his autograph or anything.

Tell us one thing about Nicky the world doesn't know.

He doesn't like seaweed. I have no idea why.

You know about his memoirs ... tell us more.

I don't know a great deal... just that Amazon has the titles wrong... to my knowledge, the titles stand as "There and Then" and "Here and Now".

The books look to be amazing and controversial reads. He's had an amazingly interesting life so far and he's put so much work into writing them - he's been away lately and informed me that, at one point, he'd been writing so much that he'd inflamed his wrist... but although he was in agony, he was "soldiering on" - so I urge everyone to get them when they're out, they're going to be great! (I think the release dates may be March and September 2007, but again Amazon may have it wrong).

Have you partied with Nicky, been to his home?

I've been to a Rolling Stones gig with him, which was a right laugh. I seem to remember Nicky going for the food as soon as we got there: "That woman's just had the last sausage... I'm so jealous!" About twenty seconds later, he was off in the other direction: "Ooh! Chocolate cake!" It was a great gig... and the cakes did look fantastic.

There was also the Donna Ida store launch party in South Ken - I helped Nicky to customise a pair of jeans with the King Nicky cartoon, in aid of Jeans for Genes. Cath and I arrived after it had started, and he was just leaving for Tom Parker-Bowles' book launch party. So we got the hellos and the hugs in before he had to head off.

I've not been to his home, no... though I've got pictures of the exterior (and the interior shots from Sheer Opulence). I've sat outside the flat many a time, and reminded him of a day just over a year ago that he walked past two teenagers who yelled "HELLO!" up at him (we'd been on the San Miguel) and he said "Hello" back and then went into the flat. And Cath and I ended up camping out on the doorstep one rainy night of October 2005, after having missed the last train home. That was a great night... although running to a hotel all the way down the road to use a toilet and running out of cigarettes by three in the morning were notable downsides. To top it all off, we didn't see him in the morning... though we did get pictures of his car.

You describe yourself as a tomboy. What does that mean exactly? Is this a psychological state, a sexual one, a sartorial one?

It's most obviously a sartorial one. I haven't been willingly put into anything I'd deem 'girly' since the age of about four. I shop mostly in TopMan (man-boxers are actually fantastic) and the men's sections of other stores like H&M and Debenhams. It's awkward in some places because I'm particular about size, but I manage and I'm comfortable.

I think it's psychological to quite an extent also since I have a great many manly characteristics that I just can't shake. I won't go into everything, but I am certain I have an unhealthy amount of testosterone in my body.

From a very young age I was hanging out with boys instead of girls, my two best friends from the age of about one to seven were guys and at the moment some of my greatest friends are fantastic young men who I love to pieces! If you ask most of them, genders count for nothing in our friendships... which I think makes them that much stronger in a way. Mind you, it has to be said that being stuck at Westcliff High School for Girls for five and a half years evened the balance a fraction (the boys' school is right next door and there's another boys' school across the road, so it seems a bit pointless).

The only downside is on the pulling front. I've got about five women after me at the moment, who just can't seem to accept that I'm straight; but the men who do come along seem to stick around for a long time - I think when they get past the blokey walk and the... well, the general manliness really, they do see that underneath it all is a somewhat erratic and eccentric young woman. I'm all over the place most of the time - head stuck in the clouds and feet desperately battling to stay on the ground.

If you were a magician what would you wish for Nicky and yourself?

Can magicians grant wishes? Perhaps I'll have to conjure a magic lamp first, and then see what sort of mood the genie inside is in before thinking of what to wish for.

What is your main ambition in life?

To live, at the moment. I take each day as it comes... any solid ambitions haven't made themselves known to me just yet. I don't particularly mind where I end up in life, as long as I'm happy and I've got my friends around me... and maybe a little bit of cash, since that always helps.

And finally (for now), what would your friends say of your interest in Nicky if you weren't in the room?

Most likely that it is completely insane, and that they will never get their heads around what I see in the man. And the line "just goes to show, stalking certainly pays off!" would probably figure in there somewhere.

Many thanks Fish. A Happy New Year to you and Nicky.

37 comments:

Susan Hill said...

You couldn`t make it up.

Arcati said...

Happy New Year Susan! I think it's time Madame Arcati interviewed you - and I'm sorry I couldn't make the book party before Christmas; I should have apologised sooner. MA x

Ms Baroque said...

...What we want now is a pic of Fish. She and Nicky must look a treat together!

Anonymous said...

If only Mr. Spacey were so accomodating toward his little bird...

:@

Anonymous said...

< I won't go into everything, but I am certain I have an unhealthy amount of testosterone in my body. >

These men in women's bodies who stalk famous gay guys are everywhere...fantastic!!!!

Arcati said...

Pictures of Fish and Nicky can be viewed via some of the links in the interview.

Fish said...

A Happy New Year to all! And cheers, Madame Arcati, for everything. XX MWAH! XX

Susan Hill said...

You`re very welcome to an interview and I`m also sorry you didn`t get to the Heroines party which was terrific.. people spilled out onto the pavement and the amazing dress designer Basia Zarzycka came looking like something out of a fairy tale. And we even kept a goodie bag for you...xx Happy New Year from freezing Gloucestershire.

duralex said...

<< These men in women's bodies who stalk famous gay guys are everywhere...fantastic!!!! >>

Yes, my buddy, looks like that crypto-gay attitude is just the latest fashionable variant of postmodern multisexualism, and we are trapped in a den of crypto-gays.
Gay new year, by the way ! :-)

Anonymous said...

< If only Mr. Spacey were so accommodating toward his little bird... >

Who the hell is it you’re calling “his little bird” ? If we’re thinking of the same person, well, obviously you don’t know her, otherwise I guess you’d rather call her “his big pterodactyl”. It’s the kind of “little bird” you’d better give the bird before being eaten up, if you get me. And a little bird tells me that there’s no way Mr. Spacey will ever make a pet of that sort of predator. :-)))

Arcati said...

As to Duralex - Happy New Year to a post-modern, anti-polymorphous sexuality homophobe - a living example of how there's no accounting for brainless hormones dressed up with an education.

As to the Spacey lap dog (yap yap) - don't worry sugar. The predatory fucker of young actors can look after himself. Now go finish your Christmas pud you pointless cunt.

duralex said...

Aaaah, Arcati darling, I thank you with my heart for playing with me so graciously. I'm not gonna lie, I really wanna hug you and kiss you all over !

As for those poor helpless little lambs – the young actors you feel so much pity for –, just to show you how homophobe I am... well, I almost wish I were one of them, you know. The honor of being chosen by such a genius as Spacey is largely worth a "little sacrifice", after all. What d'ya think, my prim virgin queen ? ;-)

Arcati said...

Thank you Duralex. Your romantic overtures are enticingly resistible.

duralex said...

"Enticingly resistible", what a wonderful oxymoron ! All my "overtures" are widely and dreadfully open, actually. But I fear I shock your modesty with my big bad words. ;-)

Anonymous said...

< As to the Spacey lap dog (yap yap) - don't worry sugar. The predatory fucker of young actors can look after himself. >

Do me a favor, sweetheart, will you ? Don’t you believe I’m so naive as to assume that man is an angel. Luckily he’s far from being one, otherwise he wouldn’t be where he is.
But in case you’re trying to suggest in a subtle and vicarious way that some young actors might use his “little weakness” to launch their career, I’ll just tell you that as far as it is known, the only one who can rightfully boast of her success is miss Kate Bosworth. Odd, isn’t it ?
Btw, dear “Madame”, why so much resentment towards Kevin ? Did he once decline your propositions, as Lester Burnham does those of his neighbor in American Beauty, or what ? Just casually wondering, don’t feel an obligation to reply, although I confess I’m more curious about a hack’s (or a stalker's) private experience than about that of a celeb’. More exotic, I guess.

Arcati said...

I love Spacey, he's great. As I've said elsewhere, nothing has been said about him that is even faintly insulting. What if he is a predatory fucker? I could name half a dozen columnists who've climbed onto their present perches via an editor's cock ladder.

That's the way it goes, though some talent makes it all alone.

For myself, Spacey is not my type at all. All that cloak 'n' dagger stuff ain't me, even if I do run a blog under cover, so to speak.

Anonymous said...

Ho ho ho, madame Arcati, hat's off for your consummate art of escape. Courageous, but not foolhardy, eh ? ;-)))

Anonymous said...

< As I've said elsewhere, nothing has been said about him that is even faintly insulting. What if he is a predatory fucker? >

Though given he's the son of a pedophile, it's probably not something he boasts about...

Anonymous said...

< in case you’re trying to suggest in a subtle and vicarious way that some young actors might use his “little weakness” to launch their career, I’ll just tell you that as far as it is known, the only one who can rightfully boast of her success is miss Kate Bosworth. Odd, isn’t it ? >

I think Mr. Colin Farrell might owe a favour or two to Mr. Spacey as well. Not that I'm implying they slept together or anything...he was just in the right place(y) at the right time.

:>

dinu said...

[I love Spacey, he's great.]

Ah, at last, a few words of respect (?) for the artist. It was high time !

[As I've said elsewhere, nothing has been said about him that is even faintly insulting. What if he is a predatory fucker?]

Is this a joke ?! If not, the least I can say is that you tabloid hacks and we artists have quite a different notion of what is insulting and what is not. I don’t know the way Spacey feels about it, and being a foreigner I might miss some subtleties, but being myself called “a predatory fucker” wouldn’t please me at all, whatever might be my sexual orientation. As I am gay (100% pure gay, I mean), I’d be ten times more infuriated, don’t ask me why. Did you ever suspect a famous womanizer like, say, Warren Beatty, of being a rapist ? So, why the hell do you assume a “manizer” is necessarily a predator ? As far as my partners are free consenting adults, young though they are sometimes, I’ll find it slandering if you ever dare write in your rag that my relationships with them are less respectable than others. “Predatory fucker”, is it ? To hell with your prejudices and ready-made ideas, you bigoted bitch ! :-)

[I could name half a dozen columnists who've climbed onto their present perches via an editor's cock ladder.]

Only half a dozen ? Would the journalists have digested some basic deontology rules ? I’m impressed, really. Nice opportunity to lose my own prejudices.

[That's the way it goes, though some talent makes it all alone.]

As I never used to ride a bike and play my violin at the same time, this little bit delights me. Maybe there is hope left for art, after all.

[For myself, Spacey is not my type at all.]

Neither mine. As a matter of fact, I was very surprised when I heard that gay rumour about him, and I still find it hard to believe. Personally, he never made me feel any gay vibe, even in “Midnight in the garden of Good and Evil”, but maybe it’s just me. Truly speaking, I didn’t even think about it. In my opinion, elsewhere is Spacey’s power of attraction. He’s a flabbergasting actor, the rest is none of my business. Anyway, for having lived for a while with a comedian some years ago, I’m deeply convinced the sexual question is almost pointless, if not irrelevant in this case. An actor doesn’t belong to himself, actually he belongs to the character he’s working on. It’s an ambiguous, physically and psychologically demanding exercise, much more disturbing than playing someone else’s music on an instrument. An actor IS always someone else than himself, even when he’s sleeping. When I was with Dennis, I often wondered if I was talking, eating, making love with him, or with Hamlet, Don Juan, or any other character he was entirely possessed by be at the time. And yet, I liked that guy a lot, so interesting and sensitive ! But he never could have a long-lasting relationship with anybody, man or woman (he’s bisexual by the way, unsurprisingly : I’d say a genuine actor is “normally” multisexual). Ah, well, I’m afraid the greatest actors, like Kevin Spacey, are condemned to be loners. It’s their strength and it’s their tragedy… “Predatory fucker” ! You should be ashamed of your narrow gossip collector mind, indeed.
But I feel I’m wasting my time – and yours. The petty-bourgeois society can have no fair idea of what an artist’s experience is. As they’re unable to raise themselves to the artist’s level, the only thing they can do is try to lower him to theirs. It’s hopeless. We have to deal with that, my dear Kevin.

Anonymous said...

Congrats to you, dinu ! You're the only one out here who succeeds in the hard task of sticking a shut up tape on arcati's big mouth. ;-)

dinu said...

It is not at all my purpose, I just wish to humanise the debate. But maybe a human and sincere way of talking is the most embarrassing thing for a gossip columnist (or the like)...

Arcati said...

Don't imagine I've gone away or been stilled. The very idea!

Dinu writes - "An actor doesn’t belong to himself, actually he belongs to the character he’s working on." Ah yes, the thesp as tabula rasa. I doubt it. Actors are just doing another job - then they go home and have fish fingers or fuck young men. They maybe preoccupied by their role, even obsessed on occasion (hello Daniel Day-Lewis, sharpening your knives in your trailer for Gangs of New York) but like most others they have real lives to live.

All great actors are loners says Dinu. No they're not. Some are some not, like postmen. Some are multi-sexual some not. I think Dinu needs to start dating non-actors: academic rugby players, for instance.

I can't speak for Spacey ....

Anonymous said...

Don't, then.

dinu said...

[Ah yes, the thesp as tabula rasa. I doubt it. Actors are just doing another job - then they go home]

Ah, yes, the old dream of all totalitarianisms and technocracies: the artist as a civil servant, with a modest retirement on his 60th birthday, etc. Screaming illustration of what I say in the last paragraph of my next to last post.

[and have fish fingers or fuck young men.]

The meaningful way you express it makes the ‘thing’ so disgustingly vulgar that I think I’d choose fish fingers, for once. Or cold turkey. Thanks, my angel of virtue, for helping me turn away from my perverse habits and low addictions. :-)

[They maybe preoccupied by their role, even obsessed on occasion (hello Daniel Day-Lewis, sharpening your knives in your trailer for Gangs of New York) but like most others they have real lives to live.]

Well, I don’t know what "real life" means to you exactly, but I can tell you from experience what it looks like for an artist – a born artist, I mean. For an artist real life is his art. Since his early childhood, his whole perception of the world has been depending on that self-evident truth, and so it will be until his last breath. I’m not claiming of course that sexuality has nothing to do with it, but it’s only a part of it. You see ?
Um, no, I fear you don’t, but don’t worry, I ‘m not such an hypocrite as to tell you I feel sorry for you. I’m sure you’re quite enough self-satisfied to be protected from the danger of calling yourself into question. Trivial minds always survive their own mediocrity, especially when they manage to hide it under a witty disguise… and yours is very witty, indeed !

[All great actors are loners says Dinu.]

Just a hypothesis, if you read me well.

[No they're not. Some are some not, like postmen. Some are multi-sexual some not.]

Great ! To be or not to be. One/zero. The binary system is the ideal philosophy for computers and artificial intelligences. Live with your time or die, Dinu !

[I think Dinu needs to start dating non-actors: academic rugby players, for instance.]

Does this imply that you don’t allow rugby players to be artists in their way ? You’d be surprised !

[I can't speak for Spacey ....]

We all knew that since the beginning.

Arcati said...

Just face it Dinu. Actors pay taxes too. They worry about pensions. Learning lines is just another thing people do to earn a living. Come on sweetie, you know I'm right.

Artists are intrinsically up there with plumbers (but not those fraudsters Dynorod), electricians and other artisans. The fact that actors have great memories, shape shift persona for earning purposes, grant interviews to Empire mag etc is neither here nor there. Same with violinists.

Some jobs sound more glamorous than others. Some people like to glamourise what artists do. Writers are the same. All that marvellous mystification! And no one works as hard as a TV soap actor! Still, whatever makes you feel valued.

As to the academic rugby player as lover: well, I was thinking he could give you a good seeing-to and then keep up with your incessant analyses afterwards.

Madame knows best.

zork said...

Hey, people, let’s stop this dialogue of the deaf and let's get back to the ‘stalker’ topic.

Someone said :

“And a little bird tells me that there’s no way Mr. Spacey will ever make a pet of that sort of predator.”

Inspector Zork returns, yeah !

There’s actually a slight difference between Spacey’s “little bird” and Nicky Haslam’s “Fish”. A difference that comes – at least partly – from the difference between Haslam and Spacey.

Nicky Haslam is an ageing socialite and minor artist, desperately (tragically, says our clairvoyant host) seeking new ideas to keep himself in the limelight. Fish is most likely an inoffensive teenage groupie – maybe his only one ! –, admiring and respecting him for who and what he is. Above all, she’s a young promising painter : she could nicely act as a foil to him, and he could be his providential mentor. Not that I want to be cynical, but their association looks quite like a temporary wedding of mutual interests. Good enticing communication and publicity for both of them, in the vernacular language of Tabloidland.

Nothing such on the other side. Kevin Spacey is a great artist in his full glory, an acclaimed actor and now well-respected ambassador of dramatic art and theatre. He has thousands of admirers all over the world, huge crowds come see him performing at the Old Vic. Among them, a few nutcases are obsessed by his private life and sexuality – his so-called "little bird" is one of them. But she’s neither a tender chick, nor a promising novelist so far.
According to Spacey’s devoted fans who seem to know her, she’s a tough bird of prey. I think it’s a ridiculous exaggeration, albeit she doesn't respect, nor really admire him.
For an outside observer like me, she’s just a graphomaniac stalker who projects on him a delusional image she created for her own neurotic purpose. Please notice that unlike some people out here, I don’t see her as a total freak : any psychologist will tell you that the females who feel for some reason attracted to gay (or rumoured to be so) men are not so scarce, this case is just a bit… spectacular, that’s all.
As for Spacey, if he’s ever heard of that woman (which I very much doubt) she’s nothing else to him but a buzzing fly he’d wave away with an impatient hand. But most probably, as long as he’s not physically threatened, he doesn’t even have to bother about it : his assistants get paid to do the job.

In summary : Haslam and his Fish are two cute little sharks swimming together in the same tepid water. Spacey’s ‘little bird’ can’t fly high enough to reach her blazing Sun, and if she could, she’d burn her wings and fall like a modern-day Icarus.

Just my casual way of seeing things, eh ?

Arcati said...

Thank you Zork. To reach the conclusion that Robin is a graphomaniac stalker you have doubtless acquainted yourself with his work - or rather, it's all too apparent you have not. And before you parrot the orthodoxy that self-publishing is the last refuge of the sub-standard, I suggest you do some homework. Passively grazing on other people's (eg publishing editors') ideas of what is good and bad is hardly indicative of a discriminating intelligence, is it my sweet?

So, your argument rather stands or falls on the quality of Robin's work. As I've said previously, if he's any good then his preoccupation with Spacey is redeemed. If his novels are crap then he's a psychiatric case.

Zork said...

Arcati said :

“To reach the conclusion that Robin is a graphomaniac stalker you have doubtless acquainted yourself with his work - or rather, it's all too apparent you have not.”

I read her interview on your blog and I studied her interesting site, plus some stuff here and there. Don’t you think that was quite enough to enlighten me ? Besides, I never insinuated that being a graphomaniac necessarily means you’re a bad author. Stephen King is a great graphomaniac, you know…

“And before you parrot the orthodoxy that self-publishing is the last refuge of the sub-standard, I suggest you do some homework.”

What the hell is this delirium ? I never brought up that issue, nor intend to do so, you perfectly know it. I just said elsewhere that her books might be average works, like most of those published every day. Is that such a daring statement ?

“So, your argument rather stands or falls on the quality of Robin's work.”

Okay, this is the current bee in your bonnet, I guess.

“As I've said previously, if he's any good then his preoccupation with Spacey is redeemed.”

Fine. And if “Mein Kampf” were a literary masterpiece… – you get me, dear little madame.

“If his novels are crap then he's a psychiatric case.”

Someone else pointed out your black/white twist of mind. Well, I’m sorry I have to concur with him.

Arcati said...

"I read her interview on your blog and I studied her interesting site, plus some stuff here and there. Don’t you think that was quite enough to enlighten me ?"

Certainly not. The very idea.

duralex said...

It's a rhetorical question, chérie. You were not supposed to answer. :-)

Arcati said...

No, it wasn't rhetorical.

zork said...

I beg your pardon, it was. But I confess I wasn't aware of it until Duralex pointed it out. :-)

dinu said...

Madame Arcati says :

[Just face it Dinu. Actors pay taxes too. They worry about pensions.]

If you were completely honest, you could add they have to deal with uncurbable privacy invaders and mean-spirited bloggers, which is a hard to bear human reality, too.

[Learning lines is just another thing people do to earn a living.]

Oh yeah? Then just learn Hamlet’s lines and climb on the stage of the Globe, you’ll see (better for you to wear a bullet-proof jacket, however).

[Artists are intrinsically up there with plumbers]

If by this you’re hinting that my pipes need to be fixed, you’d better look out, I might call Duralex to the rescue, he’ll certainly know, much better than I ever will, how to sweep your chimney ! ;-)

[Some jobs sound more glamorous than others.]

You said it, not I.

[And no one works as hard as a TV soap actor!]

The actors are not responsible for the mediocrity of their cultural environment, are they ? It’s not a reason to look down at their work, they do the best they can whatever, and many a great actor started his career in TV series. Anyhow, being a professional artist is not glamorous at all. Much work, and that exhausting obsession of perfection. We don’t list the time we spend on rehearsal, because we are not allowed to cheat. But we are wonderfully rewarded when the audience is happy.

[All that marvellous mystification!]

Only for the professional sceptics who keep their heart and sensibility under general anaesthesia.

[Madame knows best.]

Madame knows what’s boiling in her witch’s cauldron, that’s all.

duralex said...

<< I might call Duralex to the rescue, he’ll certainly know, much better than I ever will, how to sweep your chimney ! >>

Did you ask for me, Master Dinu ? :-)

Anonymous said...
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Fish said...

This seems a lifetime ago, Arcati.