Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Richard Dennen: Crotch-gawping in the company of Prince William

Richard Dennen
"Please can we have more aristos in Tatler and stately homes," writes in Alastair, an Arcatiste with a strange fetish for Old Etonian upperclass males. "Anyone know anything about Richard Dennen who writes for Tatler and has a column in the Evening Standard X."

What is there not to know about Richard Dennen? The twerpy poppet is quotidian tour guide to his own private Norfolk. Though he admits to 28 he is probably north of 30 and his journalistic achievements can be attributed only to a preponderance of homophobes in the British media (or merde as the French and English aristos call it). Let's just say Dennen is his cock-cunting editors' revenge on their readers.

I fancy he is the spawn of an unlikely knee-trembler between Nicky Haslam and Liz Jones at a Bessborough House shindig: if he put on 50 years and 50 pounds he'd make the perfect mongrel mini-me. His grail is a juicy boyfriend (forever elusive) sought within the crotch-gawping party environs of Prince William or the PM's father-in-law: take away the last two and all you've got left is a desperate tart divining solace in the smartest urinals.

One piece of advice to Dennen on his hopeless love life arrives from Josh Hunt who wrote a much more interesting gay column for the late freebie thelondonpaper. On the So So Gay blog he writes: "To be honest, spilling your guts about your personal life in the paper can make said life pretty hard to manage. My love life has improved greatly since the demise of the London paper, so I'd be loath to go back to writing in a freebie again (and I'm getting on a bit). I do however continue the column as a smaller scale blog - check it out at gayabouttown.com."

So there you are, Richard. Your SatNav to a happier life (and ours) awaits unwrapping. Meantime, Dennen's literary style critiqued. And if that sounds irksome then catch up with the weirdo Tatlersnob.

41 comments:

Anonymous said...

Where did Dennen go to school?

Joe MacFarlane. said...

Is Graham Norton gay?

The late Nigel Dempster said...

Madame is right as usual. Dennen is older than he claims, 31 this year. Daddy is the Rev Lyle Dennen, vicar of St Andrew Holborn, among other things. Richard was raised in these gothic circumstances and in a recent piece in ES revealed he had got stoned at his 21st here, in sight of Christ.

Sadly the Rev is not well so we must all pray for him.

Anonymous said...

"A desperate tart divining solace in the smartest urinals"

Poetry

Alastair said...

Thanks Madame X I do love Mr Dennen his article in this months Tatler about his time at St Andrews uni was very amusing . I do love a stately homo X

Madame Arcati said...

My pleasure Alastair. Why don't you ask Richard out on a date and tell me all about it afterwards. I'd be all ears.

Anonymous said...

I assumed Richard Dennen to be a Craig Brown parody of a silly society name-dropping queen. Are you sure that he is not? I wouldn't want you to look daft.

R.Dennen said...

Leave me alone, beastie.

Madame Arcati said...

Darling Richard, a roasting from me improves the soul - ask Rachel Johnson. We're firm remote friends now.

Alastair has something to say to you....

Alastair said...

Hello Mr Dennen how are you ? Your column in The Evening Standard makes very interesting reading X

Anonymous said...

Spit-roasting required

Alastair said...

Does anyone else read Mr Dennen's articles in The Evening Standard ? X

R.Dennen said...

My cousin does

Madame Arcati said...

My apologies for the dead link to Richard's columns - corrected. I am even more distressed no one noticed.

Anonymous said...

Surprised Madame is so sniffy about Dennen's journalism. Could you imagine such a columnist under Veronica Wadley? I very much enjoy his hi-soc gay column finding it witty and gossipy. Josh Hunt was low rent trade.

NH, Barbados said...

I am not 80. Yet.

Anonymous said...

Duncan Fallowell had the best gay column in the Evening Standard. It was in the magazine, edited by Adam Edwards, which the paper editor Max Hastings never read and so some of the content was outrageous - but not in the obvious gay way of Richard Dennen or Graham Norton. Must have ben 10, 15 years ago? I'd love to reread them. I wonder if your friend Dunc has thought of reprinting in book form.

Madame Arcati said...

I had no idea Duncan wrote such a column - how remiss of me.

Anonymous said...

Ask him about it. Fallowell's column was terminated - and so was Brian Sewell's car column - when some New Zealand woman took over the editorship of ES mag. She only last 5 minutes but the damage was done. What happened to Adam Edwards? Good blokes all. Unstuffy. Could take a joke.

The late Simon Raven said...

I remember Duncan's column. It was very short, a few hundred words, but very pithy and funny.

Capt Cook said...

A New Zealand editor? That explains Fallowell's revenge travel book on NZ Going As Far As I Can. Now it makes sense.

Dennen is quite entertaining. He should do a reality TV show so we can hear him speak and gesture.

DRF said...

Ha! Was it that long ago? The ES column was called And Another Thing and it was David Jenkins who persuaded me to do it. 300 words a week and I was paid a pound a word. The New Zealand editrix who sunk it . . . I can't remember her name, she's sunk without trace herself . . . but I shall be printing a selection from the column in a book I'm putting together of my interviews and articles. It's called Platinum Peepshow: art, fashion and entertainment 1972-2012.

with best wishes, Duncan Fallowell

Madame Arcati said...

Anyone know the name of the New Zealander? Must track her down.

Alastair said...

I do love a stately homo X

Anonymous said...

It must have been Louise Chunn

Madame Arcati said...

Ah Louise Chunn - read about her humiliating dismissals from Good Housekeeping and ES Mag. What a wretched world is that of the nomadic editor.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2010/feb/22/louise-chunn-interview

The Parasol said...

Louise is a very gifted editor of Psychologies Magazine. We love her tips on how to surf major disappointments. And she does cleavage.

Madame Arcati said...

My spies at Psychologies tell me that Louise must get that circulation above 120,000 - how's she doing?

Poor Richard must be feeling neglected.

Envelope Licker said...

I've just read Richard Denning's piece on being raised in that Gothic church in Holborn. It's like something out of The Hunchback of Notre Dame except Richard, or Dick as I think we should call him, looks like he has a ramrod back.

Alastair said...

More stately homos and aristos please Richard X

Madame Arcati said...

Yes thank you Alastair, I think I've got that. perhaps email Richard at Tatler where he holds some sway. I think.

Personally I would conscript all aristos into licensed state brothels and put them to good use.

Nursy said...

Is Alastair out on day release?

Anonymous said...

Most insightful comment, Envelope Licker. I take it you know Richard? Because he does indeed look like the Hunchback of Notre D, albeit after a Sloane makeover gone wrong. Alas, he does not share Quasimodo's nobility of soul, being a rude, braying, backstabbing so-and-so whom no one likes very much.

Ella's Belles said...

I've just discovered this site and am sending links to my Conde Nast mates. Most entertaining!

Anonymous said...

I read Richard Dennen's piece on the privileged interns taking over the plum jobs on newspapers and magazines. Mummies and daddies trade with each other to get junior a step on the ladder which may explain why the British media is starting to look like a finishing school. Dennen of course wrote approvingly of this development, more fool he.

Anonymous said...

Such mean comments! Richard is rather nice and handsome too.

Alastair said...

Anonymous is that from personal experience ? Have you met Mr Dennen ? X

Anonymous said...

Tatler magazine runs short, unpaid work-experience placements throughout the year. They are awarded on an interview basis only.

If you are interested in applying for editorial work experience, please send a copy of your CV and a cover letter addressed to our Managing Editor, Ahlya Fateh, at Tatler, Vogue House, Hanover Square, London W1S 1JU

Anonymous said...

When is Richard Dennen going to write about having gay sex with a titled man at an event he's covering for the Tatler? I'm waiting...

Alastair said...

So am I Anonymous X

Alastair said...

More stately homes, under butlers and aristos please Richard X