Monday, December 07, 2009

Farah Damji & Liz Jones' ex: Are British Asians all 'no sex, no drugs, no rock ‘n’ roll'?

Nirpal Dhaliwal - the former long-suffering husband of the professional loony and miaow lover Liz Jones - and Farah Damji are planning a joint reading from their respective books, Tourism and Try Me, in the New Year. Their topic is: Did the 60s ever really happen? "Welcome to the no sex, no drugs and strictly no rock ‘n’ roll world of 2 and 3G British Asians." For more details click here.

One of the questions under consideration will be: "Why do so many Asian bloggers and wannabe 'meejah-sites' hate Nirpal and Farah? Are they really the same person? Or maybe twins separated at birth? I mean the blogger(s) not Farah and Nirpal."

And while one awaits this possibly life-threatening event - Madame Arcati may preside (she has yet to decide) - catch up with Farah's July book launch party movie starring, among others, Anthony Haden-Guest, Darcus Howe, Mark Reeves, Vicky Gold and Mark McGowan and The Snails. Soundtrack by the unutterably sexy Bryn Phillips - Madame Arcati is sooooooooo in love.

39 comments:

Anonymous said...

I thought Molly Parkin was your fiancee? What a combo you lot make - ghastly.

Anonymous said...

You mustn't lump British Asians together. Hindus are great fun. Muslims have Anti-Life as their default mode.

Madame Arcati said...

As someone who doesn't do sex, drugs or rock n roll I don't see what the problem is.

Are all Hindus great fun or just some of them? I have noticed that British atheists seem to be fun but then go funny if you disagree with them systemtatically. But then there are others who are not like that. So there goes that generalisation.

I doubt that all Muslims are anti-life. You appear to be lumping religious groups together. Are you Derren Brown?

Madame Arcati said...
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Anonymous said...

Dhaliwal is even more of a tool than Damji; no mean feat.

Anonymous said...

What the fuck is Haden-Guest doing in that pit? And Darcus Howe is a notorious joke, he can barely get a word out without lubricating his larynx.

Anonymous said...

Will Madame be blacking up then?

Ian Board in Colony Hell said...

This is all too fuckin' arty farty for my tastes. Burb!

Madame Arcati said...

Tell Madame more about yourself, Ian. May be I'll fancy you or something.

Anonymous said...

You're all filthy criminal scum the lot of you.

Ian Bord In Colony Hell said...

Madame, if you fancy noses which look like bleeding sausages, and if you've got a fetish for urine stained walls I'm your sodden man. Belch!

Madame Arcati said...

Perfect. Get your kit off now.

Duralex said...

Ian, if you have a thing for dusty chimneys as well, then Madame is your man ! :-)))

Anonymous said...

Kill kill! Faster, pussycat . . .

Anonymous said...

Perfect book by the side of this article, Vulca. Or Cunt.

Green Goddess said...

Nirpal is a lovely tool. Stop being so nasty.

Madame Arcati said...

Vulca? The history of Vulcans? Go mind meld with your bidet, you butter-fingered sliver of placenta.

Not Geordi Grieg said...

Oh dearie me. Oh dearie dearie me. I don't think La Damji likes that Mark Reeves person anymore. Didn't you see what she wrote about him Madame Arcati? you are quite the minx, aren't you?

Madame Arcati said...

Madame Arcati stays aloof to the post-coital controversies of cock-cunters.

Anonymous said...

Oh DID they? I thought he made it up..about you know...

Madame Arcati said...

Oh, a slip of the key. I blame the Olivio cooking oil.

Anonymous said...

Is the Guy Hamilton Gallery a care in the community cooperative?

Anonymous said...

A vulca is a turbo-charged vulva, didn't you know that? In the best Parisian brothels now they say 'D'ya want a vulva or a vulca?'

Anonymous said...

No, it's a front for a crack-house.

Anonymous said...

So, did they ( Mark and Farrah) have a fling then? I thought he was gay. He probably is now.

Anonymous said...

Mark McGowan is a hoot but tell me, where does he sell these wondrous works of art or does he turn up in your living room covered in snails ?

Madame Arcati said...

I believe Mark is a denizen of the street.

Decima Dogs said...

Mark Reeves / Mark McGowan? Mark Reeves signs people's bottoms doesn't he. WOW that is ART!

Madame Arcati said...

There should never be more than one Mark on the premises.

Anonymous said...

Or in the premises. Snigger.

Madame Arcati said...

http://www.onthepremises.com/

Changed my surname to Dan said...

A slow week for "news" then

Madame Arcati said...

Fast enough for you dearie. Take a deep breath now.

Not Liz Jones said...
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Anonymous said...

The psychopath is someone who has no concern or empathy for others, no awareness of right and wrong, and who takes extreme pleasure in having power over others. The psychopath has no moral conscience and therefore does not experience guilt or remorse.

Most psychopaths are highly skilled at fooling those around them that they are normal by imitating the emotions that are expected of them in different circumstances. They are consummate at charming people and convincing them they are in the right. It is only when they reveal a discrepancy in their emotional response that they let slip that something may be wrong with them.

You have been warned Madame.

Anonymous said...

What happened to Christmas? You got all cosy and mince-pies and now it's brittle no-man's-land again with these ghastly deadheads. Bring on the snow PLEASE and the candlelight

Madame Arcati said...

But dearie, you have the M&S TV ads for the cosiness, with Stephen Fry going on about his mincing pies. God knows what you will make of my review of Jonathan King's memoirs, to come.

And thank you anon for your definition of a psychopath: I have encountered a few of this type in the senior reaches of journalism. They then move on and pick newspaper columns or edit obscure quarterlies or become the Tory media boss while perhaps picking up a ribbon from HM. So psychopathology, professionally managed and disguised, would appear to be a most desirable, if not PRECIOUS, affliction.

Deluded by Precious said...
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Madame Arcati said...
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