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| Kirk Douglas by Darrell Robinson aka Wooden Horse |
First, I am delighted that the immensely improved Tatler has placed Duncan Fallowell's How To Disappear travel memoir [reviewed here] among its sexiest reads of the year. Ever since the 'spinning vagina expert' took over as editor, and Tiny Tears fucked off to the Mail, the magazine has gone from strength to strength in its championing of aristocratic and models-look eugenics: I can only aspire to the perfected physical and mental entitlements as showcased and celebrated in its glossy pages - but silly me!
This fabulous exhibition of good taste in Tatler draws me inexorably to the second thing to stir me - a YouTube video conversation about bisexuality, threesomes and cock-cocking prison sex. Once again we have Duncan F to thank for anchoring me in the present. It is in his interview with the legendary Hollywood actor Kirk Douglas that our attention is drawn to sexual practices that may be foreign to our nation's prim, comme il faut tabloid journalists.
Kirk wisely declines to say whether he has ever done anything that might outrage the Tinseltown homophobes, but he does reminisce about a big butch cock-cunter who went to jail for 10 years and there discovered that a pretty stubbled face in twilight is a perfectly acceptable substitute for organic relief. Having served his sentence and rejoined the public, our hero reverted to his normal sexual service without apparent need of psychotherapy, priest or agony aunt.
Suddenly, the present has its attractions - but the future beckons once again.
To watch the Kirk Douglas video, click here. Darrell Robinson's gallery can be viewed here.
46 comments:
Nice caricature. Scrotal chin.
Lots of guys go queer in The Big House. Kirk is strictly hetero. I am Spartacus.
Ugh! A poppy. Obligatory on TV newsreader lapels I see. I'm not sure anyone is stricly anything, though Nancy can't dance for sure.
Thank goodness you're back Madame. I thought you'd be lost to 'poetry'.
Douglas makes it pretty clear he's never had bisexual experiences. He says if he had he wouldn't tell the interviewer. He then goes ontototalkabout the man who went to prison.
I can't quite work out Madame's mood from this piece. I think she's taking the piss.
But Douglas is not taking the piss. He was deadly serious about his writing. That voice!
This is like your diary, Madame. Nice.
The Tatler Christmas issue also contains a list of the 175 most eligible/attractive people in the UK. It's an odd list - only about 15 of them are sexy. Would Madame Arcati please give us guidance and post a list of say the 20 most eligible/attractive people in the country. Preferably with nudie photos. Tatler doesn't give us nudies. Should. Appearance is important. xx
Who's the bear in the video? Wanna see more
How does Duncan get these blokes to strip for him? I never can.
Mmm, that's a good idea. Of course Madame doesn't find anyone sexy, but does have an eye for the surprise package, male, female and optional. Oh yes.
Yes, I wondered this myself. I tried to imagine Susan Hill in the bathroom instead but it didn't quite work.
I have never heard of a spinning vagina. Perhaps Madamew could demonstrate. On Youtube.
Madame should take more breaks - for her returns are worth waiting for! xxxxx
That guy is HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What guy is hot?
The guy in the video, stupid! That Tatler should use him to model a range of winter sunshine Speedos in PALE colours.
I hate a cock-teaser
I once delivered fish'n'chips to Kirk at a London hotel and charged him 10 times what they cost. He gave me one pound as a tip. They were the days.
some guys'll do anything for a camera but nothing for a person
According to your profile this blog ceased about two years ago. is this s seance?
Veritas poppet, you celebrity Zelig you. Did you notice anything odd about Kirk? Did he hold a chip in a funny way?
i disapprove of overcharging.
Prison sex is still taboo subject. But Jonathan King should be able to enlighten us!
Madame-as his lowly gofer for 6 weeks on a film at Pinewood I did many odd jobs for him-once collecting a lady visitor from the West End when he had an afternoon off but couldn't leave the set for some reason. He even requested I pick up something in a little bottle on the way there-Hard Core I think it was. So he just like everyone else.
I wonder if Tatler actually read your post, Madame. If you know what I mean.
I see we've changed our tune on quite a few things but then was ever thus wasn't it VO.
A very chewable chin
Kirk Douglas hasn't gay gene in his quilted vanity case from Balenciaga. Mwah.
Kirk Douglas was Russian - says it all
Isn't Kirk about 95 now?
Yes, it's freaky I'm still to be seen shopping on Rodeo Drive
Prove you're Kirk, Kirk.
Kirk asked me to confirm it's him. It is.
I mean it is he. And I am I. Who are you?
Meryl Christmas.
Which reminds me - Burt Lancaster's transvestism
Men posing as women? Whatever next.
Kirk was always a filthy dog
How do we know your anonymous? Prove it
Was Burt Lancaster a dragster as well?. I was once in a restaurant in the South of France and Lancaster was at a nearby table with a handsome young chap. Next minute Burt stood up angrily and slapped the young man's face and stormed out.
Which reminds me of the manly star my mother adored-Van Johnson who I saw enter a hotel lobby in New York in 1995 and who appeared to be channeling the late Larry Grayson in manners and swishness.
Yet these chaps were also married. Did they lead secret lives?. We should be told.
Van Johnson was an obvious screamer. Even his manly poses on screen failed to disguise his true calling.
The things I've heard about you.
personally I would like to hear a lot more tittle tattle about the biggest slut in Hollywood-Marlon Brando who screwed anything breathing.
Then you want the book Brando Unzipped which tells it all - and more
Thank you Anonymous-reading Brando Unzipped now and pleased to discover he gave me a good rogering as well.
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