Thursday, June 11, 2009

James Delingpole: Muslims, Farah and Chippy Drivel-gate

Comments are welcome. But highly insulting or plainly defamatory remarks will not be posted. In particular, comments of a personal or insulting nature about Farah Damji and Toby Young will be ignored.

So, where were we? Ah yes, James Delingpole. The writer, novelist and rightwing joker whose work appears often in the Telegraph and Spectator. Last month he started a curious conversation on Facebook about Muslims: he invited people to name a Muslim peer who had got his or her job on merit. Naturally this precipitated quite a row with fellow Facebook writer Farah Damji (what do you mean you've never heard of her!). The exchanges also feature the novelist Susan Hill. I make no comment. Oh, and do read Delingpole's book Welcome to Obamaland: I Have Seen Your Future and It Doesn't Work, click here. After you've read Farah's Try Me, click here.

James Delingpole
Can anyone name me a single Muslim peer who got the job on merit?
14:20 · via Twitter ·

Farah Damji at 14:23 on 03 May
Karan Bilamoria

Susan Hill at 14:26 on 03 May
How many peers of any faith or none got the position on merit ? 20%

Susan Hill at 14:26 on 03 May
That should have been 20% ?

James Delingpole at 14:30 on 03 May
You just made that one up didn't you Farah?

Farah Damji at 14:32 on 03 May
*drops her Mail on Sunday in shock *
Baron Bilamoria to the likes of you Mr D,_Baron_Bilimoria

James Delingpole at 14:35 on 03 May
Point taken Susan, but let's pick one target at a time. Baroness Uddin: £100,000 claimed from the taxpayer for a flat she didn't use; Lord Ahmed - killer, rabblerouser; Baroness Warsi - the Tories' chocolate fireguard on "Social Cohesion".

Farah Damji at 14:35 on 03 May
oh sorry, take it all back. But he is a Parsi, and they were kinda sorta one of "us Mossies," back in the day. Anyway he is brown. Isn't that your point?

James Delingpole at 14:46 on 03 May
Stop being so chippy Farah. And misleading for that matter.

Malcolm Hugh Delingpole at 07:52 on 04 May
Zoroastrianism = Islam ? Stretching it a bit!

Farah Damji at 09:44 on 04 May
Ah! Someone who knows the difference. Intelligent debate as opposed to rabble-rousing racism?

James Delingpole at 10:29 on 04 May
For FUCK'S SAKE Farah Damji. You really do have some gall. It was you who proposed Karan Bilamoria as your favourite Muslim peer. And now you have the bloody cheek to make out like I can't tell the difference. And since when was Islam a race?

Farah Damji at 10:43 on 04 May
I did. I made a mistake. I am not always right. And your initial comment was racist. Because I said so, learn Macpherson. "The definition of 'racist incident' should be: 'any incident which is perceived to be racist by the victim or any other person'." After I realised Karan was a Parsi, I added three more Muslim Peers you haven't refuted. This is like the Sunny Hundial school of debate. Pointless.

James Delingpole at 10:57 on 04 May
Farah, are you stupid as well as annoying? I don't believe in the Macpherson report. No one with even half a brain believes in the Macpherson report. It set back the cause of race relations in this country by decades. If you want to talk chippy drivel go somewhere else.

Farah Damji at 11:05 on 04 May
As in Paki go home? I think you have lost this one. The Macpherson report is not a religion for you to believe in, unlike Islam. The Macpherson report remains the most important historical document YOUR country has produced since the Magna Carta. Chippy Drivel sounds like a character invented by you to cover up your "intelligence" which has as many holes as a hooker's fishnets. I'm bored with arguing with someone who can't hold an argument, can only lob insults. And not very good ones at that...later.

James Delingpole
All right, apart from Karan Bilamoria - inventor of that marvellous thing Cobra beer - name one other Muslim peer who got the job on merit

14:38 · via Twitter · Farah Damji at 14:43 on 03 May
GOTCHA. Wait calling my Jihadist friends for some back-up.

Farah Damji at 14:48 on 03 May
what is chippy? something to do with fishy? Off to the park, enjoy your snit.

Rob Stevely at 15:14 on 03 May
Jobs? Mostly I see muslims on the streets burning things in effigy and throwing stones at tanks

Jim Mellon at 19:49 on 03 May
and waht non Muslim peers got the job on merit?

James Delingpole at 20:25 on 03 May
entirely agree with you Jim. But that's a separate point.

Farah Damji at 20:37 on 03 May
Baroness Shreela Flather.

Josie Charlotte Jackson at 22:10 on 03 May
Easy: ÕÈÇÑ, ÔÌÑÉ ÇáÊíä ÇáÔæßí (Babylon English Arabic) or Êíä Ôæßì (plain ol' Arabic, Arabic) or "prickly pears" (English, English). Grown in Saudi Arabia and Morocco, prickly pears got the job of being used, most deliciously, in prickly pear juice.
Have a very, very nice week ( is it Monday over there yet?).

Farah Damji at 22:12 on 03 May,_Baroness_Prashar

Farah Damji at 07:13 on 04 May
Oh and Lord Ali.

Nirpal Dhaliwal at 3:04pm May 4
can anyone name me one single right-wing privately-educated white-boy hack who got his job on merit?

To listen to libertarian conservative Delingpole click here. There's no (unnatural) climate change, global recession is all Blair's fault (but he was right on the Iraq War), and other simplistic crap. Bush W's fault was that he "was a compassionate conservative". Is that a joke?


Anonymous said...

Oh dear....It's another one of those situations where Arcati becomes obsessed with an individual who is Simply.Not.That.Interesting.

We DON'T CARE about Farah Damji.

We DO care a little or more than a little about Susan Hill and Delingpole.

Madame Arcati said...

It's like a journey, you spot a temple, and you go in and then you see this painting ...

Susan rather rudely has ignored Madame Arcati for over a year - but she comes out of this exchange rather well, unlike the ghastly Delingpole.

A Man Called David said...

Susan is lovely and she is very fond of you Arcati. She's not so keen on having her name dragged through the mud. Scum like Farah actually get sexually aroused by having their names dragged through the mud. Delingpole is ghastly. Susan's policy is lay down with dogs, wake up with fleas. She does not want to get fleas.

Madame Arcati said...

Oh really. Well, she was happy to lie down with this dog for long enough.

Anonymous said...

Which one was the gay Muslim peer? He's been rather quiet, hasn't he, as gays get systematically murdered throughout the Muslim Middle east.

Tony said...

Madame has lost her way temporarily. But she will, I'm sure, be back on top form soonest. This Farah thing is just not entertaining.

Anonymous said...

I guess the much bigger question is "Has anyone ever met a Pom or writer for the Telegraph who got their job on merit?"

I think that pretty much closes the case...

Conspiracy Theorist said...
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Oranges Are The Only Fruit said...
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Anonymous said...

There is more to life than just having an enormous cock.

Anonymous said...

So why are you still posting racist remarks about Poms etc?

Anonymous said...

And Dhaliwal going on about whiteboys?

Madame Arcati said...

Duncan Fallowell's book is not racist - it is a personal, idiosyncratic view of another culture, celebratory but also critical.

Madame Arcati said...

In context Dhaliwal's question is satirical in response to Delingpole's regrettable challenge - it is plainly a response intended to invite anyone to appraise this fool by the same criteria as Muslim peers. It certainly is not racist.

Chippy Swivel said...

Is it bad that I don't even know who James Delingpole is? The others mentioned I know mainly from Arcati blog

Anonymous said...

Madame obviously doesn't know what a Pom is.

Madame Arcati said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Madame Arcati said...

Re Pom, you will have to educate me. Amisian ellipses are not welcome on Arcati.

Re Delingpole, I hate to admit it but I hardly know who he is myself. His gifts as a writer are not immediately obvious to me, though my hearing is sharp to a know-all loudmouth. It's as if I have been pointed to some redundant species I thought had died in the last Ice Age, like one of those 40m year old fossils that I am supposedly related to.

Anonymous said...

Madame, can you point me in the right direction to some of Delingpole's writing? I don't want to actually buy one of his books but I'd like to see whether he is any good or not. Why is Palash Dave a fan of his?

Madame Arcati said...

Delingpole - you could start with this - his thoughts on the BNP:

Palash Dave is also a mystery to me. Write to Delingpole direct if you like - he's clearly no sufferer from RSI.

Madame Arcati said...

Anonymous said...

To assess one of these "analysts" more clearly, it always helps (me) somewhat to hear some of their views straight from the horse's mouth. Somehow just reading their book "camouflages" their real self (maybe the work of their editors).


Concerend Spectator said...

Your skill for slamming the zeitgeist on the head with a sledgehammer are to be applauded.
The blog is back. Long live Arcati.
I find this Delingpole person to be slightly hateful. "Doesn't believe in MacPherson?" I wonder what Mrs Doreen Lawrence might say to that?
These people are odious and you are right to out them.

The late Duncan Fallowell said...

Why have you suddenly brought Duncan Fallowell into this?

Madame Arcati said...

Why not? Anais Nin! There, I've dragged her in now too.

Anonymous said...

I notice that no one yet has made a comment on the transcript. Two things I want to say.

First, Delingpole, even if he is not racist, could be mistaken for a bigoted religionist. His opening question singles out Muslim peers and assumes none is in the Lords on merit. We are not invited to consider the matter, just take it for granted.

Second, his contemptuous language of certain Muslim peers is both offensive and defamatory. In the circumstances Damji's objections are entirely reasonable.

I fear Madame that you have many rightwing readers who are wondering what's wrong with this Facebook item. You need to re-nose your targets to please these scum.

The late Anais Nin said...

How dare you!

Anonymous said...

Can't we have a day without Duncan ? PLEASE

Madame Arcati said...

Sending me news links is also a waste of energy. Google can get you to where you want to be.

Aunty Vag said...

Whatever happned to Molly? I look back fondly on your pieces about your fiancee after ALL THIS!

Minge of Kindness said...

It's time for an intervention. Madame needs to deliver what her public wants and stories about this nonentity Damji are not it.

I predict a much needed return to top form in Arcati's immediate future.

Anonymous said...

To the Anon who is pointing to us the obvious. Why do you think the story was posted in the first place? Is it that you expect another string of posts screaming "bloody murder"?. Some of us may give the impression of being ditzy, but we are not brain dead (yet). Why don't you tell us something we don't already know?

Madame Arcati said...

Excuse me duckies but I rarely have this number of comments when I'm being all whimsical and lightly gossy, all nicey bloggy and not upsetting the nags. Fucking Poms.

Minge of Kindness said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
A man with a very large penis said...

These are my favourite things about Madame Arcati.

1. Bitch reviews of newspaper columnists

2. Celebrity dick pics

3. Duncan Fallowell alternating with Molly Parkin

4. Madame's sudden spasms of fury over obscure things such as Tony Parsons

5. Interviews with people not called Farah Damji

6. Madame's TV and theatre reviews - the Manilow is brilliant, the best. Why don't you do more of this, make it a weekly thing. It'll keep you out of mischief

7. Madame's occasional very strong exclusives

8. Madame's bitch comments - often better than the postings themselves

9. Madame's peculiar alliance with Stephanie Mastini and their obsession with Kevin Spacey, recently renewed I see. The Odd Couple of the blogosphere

And finally ...

10. Madame's rages against things she can do nothing about such as bullying, racism and other immemorial ills.

Minge of Kindness said...

@A Man With A Very Large Penis

I think I love you.

Minge of Kindness said...

What do Jay Rayner, James Delingpole, Sam Leith, India Knight, Suzanne Moore and Madonna's PR people have in common?

Madame Arcati said...

Well I know - and they'd better make the most of it. Many are in for a surprise.

Surfpup said...

Don't be mean to Duncan. A day without a Dunk is a day without sunshine.

Anonymous said...

By way of uplift - who is editing Granta these days?

Madame Arcati said...

Oh I'd forgotten about Granta, swept up by these huge events here. I wish Duncan would edit it, he really ought to get a proper job.

Chris said...

Fallowell is probably too original for that - they're terrified of what he might do. He's a sort of Banksy figure, isn't he, in the literary world. He's not even in Who's Who - I just checked.

Anonymous said...

To very big penis stuck to a man,
I think you may have a chance at running for office (I wonder what would Danglingpole say about you, though). I agree with most of your observations, except:
5. MA's interviews have proven that even interviewing the bag lady (Please, I'm NOT being prejudiced!) down the street can turn out to be interesting.
6. I want mischief
9. Oh no, I will never agree with that one: Kevin Spacey = ZzzzZ. With all that was going on up here I missed Freud, Jung and Pavlov trying to fix Steph back there and I don't think I regret it at all.

When you say very big... that is so vague... how much is that in inches?

On another note: would editing Granta be a proper job? Also, It seems cursed (how many editors in how much time again?).

Minge of Kindness said...

I have an idea. Why don't you hold a General Election of your own? Arcatistes will vote for who you must interview next. I would like to see you interview Danglingpole.

Anonymous said...

Humm... Minge... perfect name for a twat-minded person...

Madame Arcati said...

That's a very un-ox-like comment.

Anonymous said...

I know, baby, but I've told you already these women and their gratis hatred stir up the poltergeist in me. They beg to be kept in line.

Anonymous said...

Is James Devilpole considered 'hot'?

Madame Arcati said...

Only on emerging from hot water.

veritas said...

How exciting !The only positive thing in these exchanges is that James Delingpole has brought the feisty Farah Damji to my attention. She sounds fab.

Anonymous said...

I apologize if I misinterpret you. Your comment was right after mine and I thought it was addressed to me and you were being cheeky. Sorry pussycat; my bad.

Now, if you are asking MA to accept our requests on interviews, I don't know how long you have hang out here, but I have long enough to realise MA is allergic to anything that remotely resembles an assignment (I think, puky, that may be a reason for editors to be weary of taking you up on the "I want a column" offer - they may think you unreliable. That and the fear you may not be tame enough for mainstream).

MA darling,
Shena McKay - shame, shame, shame, shame, SHAME. With all these storytellers you've been bringing up lately I looks even more impolite to leave her hanging. Wouldn't a simple folk lifestyle kind of interview be a good balance after all this cosmo/political talk?

Madame Arcati said...

My dear - you haven't hacked into my emails have you? - I've had more journalistic assignments than you've had fake orgasms. Well, I assume. How do you think I ended up in the therapy of blogging? Madame Arcati is profoundly reliable and always delivers: what she delivers is another matter. Shena is another matter. She's one of the goddesses.

The late Vera Lynn said...

Madame, you're getting more comments than the Guardian. Rusbridger will be sick with jealousy.

Anonymous said...

Dingepole hot? He looks like he's got a nasty thin cock. "Is it in yet?" is probably a regular question he's asked in bed if he's getting any.

Anonymous said...

No one gets of my bed until they deliver. I've had one tied up since 1987: slow learner.

Feature Shena: pretty please?

Madame Arcati said...

Shena - I promise. The paperback must due out quite soon.

Open Minded said...

Farah Damji, feisty? Sounds like she kicked him in the balls with her Louboutin stillettoes on darlings. Have to say this is all pretty skilled PR, it made me go and her buy her bloody book (ok, pre-ordered it on Amazon). Is there really S + M in it , MA? DO tell?

Madame Arcati said...

I seem to recall some slap and tickle. Observer(s) will love it.

Open Minded said...

Oh NO. You are not leaving it at that. C'mon Arcati darlingest. You know you want to, tell me some more, just our little secret ( though judging by the number of comments and views you ar getting you must be coming back into fashion again) consider it an excerpt for review
purposes or something


I want Farah S+M bedtime stories

Madame Arcati said...

Madame Arcati never went out of fashion. But she did discover haute couture. You will have to buy your own book my dear!

Open Minded said...

Are YOU Farah D?
I have to wait until July for the S+M stuff. can't you please just post a teeny weeny itsy bitsy bit of it? Your other readers will love it too. We're waiting like dogs with our tongues hanging out.

Madame Arcati said...

I am Madame Arcati and I am not Farah, Duncan, Toby, Precious, Suzanne, Francis, Stepahnie or SuBo. OK?

Are you inviting me to breach Farah's copyright? There are laws against that sort of thing y'know. Now run along and do not follow David Carradine's example.

Open Minded said...

Ok then. I will just have to imagine horny threesomes with her , Devilpole and Toby in the meantime.
Suitably chastened.
Though you could be a mixture of all and the above? Like a nasty gossip soup? SuBo looks alarmingly like DanglingPole's separated at birth evil twin.
Francis Wheen?

Madame Arcati said...

Francis Wheen? Sir Francis Drake you fool.

Anonymous said...

Oh god, I can't breathe - that's too funny!

Here is a thought: maybe we can ask Farah to post IN HER blog page one teensy little sentence just to wet our palate and announce here that she has done so. If we are going to feed our appetite for kink from her, the least we can do is pay her the courtesy of visiting her page. Just saying...

Toby loves Farah said...

Farah couldn't do kink. She's a nice little Indian woman. REMEMBER? They are strictly missionary Christian position, straight up. They do it with a hole in the sheet or something don't they?
Toby / Farah / Delingpole all remarkably quiet. Maybe they are all watching the tennis at Sandbanks together?

Unreal said...

Toby's quite handsome actually.

Anonymous said...

"She's a nice little Indian woman. REMEMBER? They are strictly missionary Christian position, straight up. They do it with a hole in the sheet or something don't they?"

What is this person talking about? Where do you think The Kama Sutra of Vatsayana
comes from?

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