Thursday, June 25, 2009
Perez Hilton: So, where are all his showbiz exclusives?
Perez Hilton aka Mario Lavandeira: He's not so hot
Now that I've had my hernia repaired after laughing through Perez Hilton's totally pathetic cry baby performance on Perez TV (just over some thick, unreconstructed person punching him a few times in Toronto - "I thought my eye had rolled out of my head!"), I am left wondering why so many people think he breaks loads of showbiz exclusives all day. He doesn't. Mostly, he just grazes around for stories like every other showbiz hack on the planet. The only difference is he hasn't got some great fucking silly bitch-manager with a bad hairdo to answer to.
Let's look in order at recent (as I write) tales of his on his facing page:
New Green Day video (Oh, thank you Mr PR person)
Adam Lambert Caught Lying (Oh, thankyou TMZ-meisters)
Farrah Fawcett RIP (Oh, well she just died, y'know: public info)
Rosie O'Donnell bitching (Oh, a think piece)
Lou Diamond Phillips wins I'm A Celebrity (Oh, thankyou, um, everyone!)
Billy Bob Thornton's eldest daughter arrested (Oh, thank you People)
Simon Cowell in talks with Fox (Oh, thank you Radar Online)
Britney Spears no show (Oh, thank you Take 40)
Kate Moss (nearly) reveals vagina (Oh, thank you paparazzi trash - cheque's in the post)
And on it goes. Cause, it's the dead tree media idlers who repeat the lie that Perez is King of Showbiz when in fact he's just another slebby bottom feeder who only very very occasionally breaks a story. And that's me being generous.
Go on, have a laugh at this bullying fool calling his alleged abuser a fag and boasting about the 10 million flies that buzz about his carcass website each day. "I'm a human being." (Click once to play)