Saturday, June 13, 2009

Arise, SIR Christopher Lee - and about time!


"Is that an electric cunt before me?" See comments

What have I been saying these past two years while you lot were loafing? I was demanding that the best actor in the English-speaking world, Christopher Lee, be knighted. Word had reached me that HM was listening and now she's delivered - though why SIR Christopher had to reach the age of 87 for this honour beats me. There are people who get their leg over a bike at 24, or run about in plimsolls at 19, and, oh!, a knighthood or a damehood in the post - just because they got up in the morning to show off their bodies. SIR Christopher makes about 500 films and a fortune for Hollywood and he has to get to virtually 100 for royal recognition: it's the curse of being a Gemini. I should know.

18 comments:

veritas said...

Absolutely outrageous that it should have taken so long but it obviously did because of pure snobbishness about Sir Christopher 's many shlock horror films. Her Maj needs to sack a few pompous advisers. I bet she loves the odd Hammer Horror flick.

Anonymous said...

Christopher Lee is a nice man but my God - what a VERBOSE man he is!

Anonymous said...

Is that an electric cunt in the picture?

Madame Arcati said...

Electric cunt? I should watch your language. No wonder Susan Hill has retired to her study in a state of shock.

Yes, SIR C is indeed verbose - and bitter. I had a long conversation with him at a Sheridan Morley do some years back. Aside from the neck ache of looking up at him I then got earache as he moaned about his lot, how everyone just thinks he's a horror actor. I also knew someone who ran one of fan clubs - she killed herself alas - and she said Sir C's fave topic was his career and person.

Never mind. I firmly believe that the actorly energies we enjoy on the screen are generated viscerally by the character of the person: if you like watching Oliver Reed's swinging testicles that's cos he was a boozy roustabout who copulated in front of mirrors: in love with his own machismo. You can tell in his flicks. We are the beneficiaries as his liver died.

Now fuck off you cunt.

The late Duncan Fallowell said...

In addition Andy Murray is now wearing black lycra longs under his white shorts. Hideous.

Madame Arcati said...

Really? I'm praying he loses in the first week. I just can't stand all that on court gummy gurning followed by droning interviews. Best to put him out our misery and let the foreigners win. British tennis is in a coma.

Toby loves Farah said...

Madame , I'm sure that is a racist remark. Just because we suck Toby eggs at tennis doesn't mean we should pray the foreigners win. Christ, they win at everything. Where's your National Spirit gone?

Madame Arcati said...

Murray's so unprepossessing. He's like a matchstick man and his teeth loom out at you ahead of those big red gums. I hate lots of gums, throws me off kilter. The sooner he turns to tennis broadcasting the better.

Madame Arcati said...

However, the Queen could further redeem herself in my eyes and give Julie Burchill a damehood.

Anonymous said...

Quiet without Farah and Toby. Are they ex-lovers?

TobyWatch said...

Gums are good for oral.Nicer than sharp teeth on the old cockadoodle.

Toby and Farah, it's all a publicty stunt. They are both self-confessed narcissists ( though I have to say she is a darn sight better looking than him).
There's a big reunion planned next week, a la Katy Price and Pete Andre. Are her knockers as big as Katy's?

Anonymous said...

Shove a tape recorder under his nose - take a round the world trip and when you come back, he's still monologuing. Bliss to work with unless you get trapped.

Double Bounce said...

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Andy Murray is a fabulous player. If he'd dump the lycra, he'd become a star. Nadal is cuter of course - but his knees have burnt out.

Madame Arcati said...

If Murray dumps the lycra and allows his lunchbox to dance about as wheezy old radio guffers guff on about cross court cunting serves, then I may watch. But you just know he's just another British Hope - just there to flog the strawberries.

Mistress of the Stool said...

HM The Queen has asked me to convey her concern about the use of the word "cunt" in relation to her name in a sentence.

You are cordially reminded that at least one whole paragraph must separate all reference to Her Majesty's name from "cunt". Preferably the word should not appear at all in any article which presumes to take HM as a theme.

Note also that HM paid no attention to your pleas for the knighthood of the actor Christopher Lee. She saw him in the Wicker Man some time ago and made a note to honour him despite the paganism of that movie.

Anonymous said...

May you please convey this message to HM:

My I remind you, your Highness, of what happened to the last Regnant of the UK to compare himself to God or one of his messengers and insist enforcing to be treated accordingly?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1lZd3JtCMY&feature=PlayList&p
=03E238D1A189906C&index=4
Just saying...
ox

forgotten ones fund/stephmastini said...

"I firmly believe that the actorly energies we enjoy on the screen are generated viscerally by the character of the person"

well put MA...how true!
s~

Madame Arcati said...

Thank you Steph. I can think of another global actor who's deserving of a knighthood.