I am shocked at the preoccupation with cock size on Popbitch and Holy Moly - the two subscription slebby gossip sites. This week Popbitch reports that the Guardian columnist Charlie Brooker has "a large cock". Other eyewitness accounts include: "I was told at the weekend that Richard Herring has a surprisingly adequate cock" and new Dr Who Matt Smith is "Hung like a horse by the way!"
After the smelling salts I turned to Holy Moly for a spiritual douche and what did I read? "Shaun Wright-Phillips has a massive cock. Who else has a huge/small cock? We need to update our spreadsheet - Jim Kerr et al kept us going for years back in the ealry [sic] internet days, but not much is known about today's hip, young gunslingers. Is James Morrison packing heat? Is Lady GaGa's cock quite small?"
Far be it for me to play goss cupid but perhaps Holy Moly need look no further than Popbitch in its quest. In fact, a merger can't be far off: I shall pray for it.
I draw all this to your attention if only because Madame Arcati has gained a certain notoriety for publishing (possibly), er, enhanced photos of celebrity cock - to this day, the Daniel Radcliffe pics remain No 1 in the Arcati hit parade. Yet what may seem to some an unseemly fixation is in fact merely the manifestation of my Anna Wintour-like intimacy with the zeitgeist: whatever's out there will surface tastefully through my person, like the sugary dew that an aphid emits from its back end to a sentinel ant.
I have no new images for you today but here's a prize dick for you click here.