Sunday, June 14, 2009

Size queenery outbreak at Popbitch and Holy Moly

I am shocked at the preoccupation with cock size on Popbitch and Holy Moly - the two subscription slebby gossip sites. This week Popbitch reports that the Guardian columnist Charlie Brooker has "a large cock". Other eyewitness accounts include: "I was told at the weekend that Richard Herring has a surprisingly adequate cock" and new Dr Who Matt Smith is "Hung like a horse by the way!"

After the smelling salts I turned to Holy Moly for a spiritual douche and what did I read? "Shaun Wright-Phillips has a massive cock. Who else has a huge/small cock? We need to update our spreadsheet - Jim Kerr et al kept us going for years back in the ealry [sic] internet days, but not much is known about today's hip, young gunslingers. Is James Morrison packing heat? Is Lady GaGa's cock quite small?"

Far be it for me to play goss cupid but perhaps Holy Moly need look no further than Popbitch in its quest. In fact, a merger can't be far off: I shall pray for it.

I draw all this to your attention if only because Madame Arcati has gained a certain notoriety for publishing (possibly), er, enhanced photos of celebrity cock - to this day, the Daniel Radcliffe pics remain No 1 in the Arcati hit parade. Yet what may seem to some an unseemly fixation is in fact merely the manifestation of my Anna Wintour-like intimacy with the zeitgeist: whatever's out there will surface tastefully through my person, like the sugary dew that an aphid emits from its back end to a sentinel ant.

I have no new images for you today but here's a prize dick for you click here.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just don't let your moral standard slip madame

Maxim de Winter said...

Those of us who are lucky to be enormously well endowed live in hope of being outed on one of these gossip sites. What's a guy got to do to get a reputation around here?

Anonymous said...

You're so bad... I should have known when you didn't use the word cock... had to be a dick *cough* head...

Is there any possibility that sneaking into to this web page has corrupted sweet Camilla Wright, or is it what some had said in one of your prior posts that she's a little "devil in disguise"...?
ox

Duralex said...

What, Lady GaGa has a cock? I'm shocked!

Anonymous said...

Gary Cooper; Roddy McDowell, and of course there's a reason luscious Rupert Penry-Jones is called Ruper PENDULUM Jones.

Madame Arcati said...

Dear Maxin, do feel free to out yourself (if not already) x

Anonymous said...

I gather that slim young man with a haircut contributes penile oriented gossip to both sites. Remember that Holy Moly was a breakaway from Popbitch and there are still gossipmongers with feet in both camps.

Madame Arcati said...

Gosh, did these mighty titans fall out?

Popbitch's Camilla doesn't look like a cock size queen, does she? I can imagine her getting a CBE in a few years time like Nicholas Coleridge. Perhaps for services to the penile extension industry. I am certain there are more big cocks around these days.

I have never quite understood this obsession but I'm not one to argue with a thriving market.

Charles Lambert said...

Well, however hard I try to lift the tone, the most visited post on my blog continues to be the one that shows Berlusconi's presidential equipment at work (actually at ease) on one of his many Sardinian beaches.