Do you imagine the spirit of Madame Arcati can be barred from a party she is determined to attend? How sad and deluded you must be.
Of course I was at Nicky Haslam's Warhol-y parties to mark the publication (at last) of his memoir Redeeming Features. All three of me at the two of them. It was Bonfire Night. Nicky: in monochrome as a Regency rake. Slimmer. Whiter-haired. We Arcatis drifted into London's Aqua Nueva and clocked novelist Susie Boyt wearing the same damned ugly bridesmaid-style, too shiny dress - emerald green! - she had on at Fay Weldon's book launch about 6 or 8 weeks ago. It doesn't flatter her at all and the main reason we say so is because she's some sort of style queen. She sings Judy Garland in any case. Her soul is plainly gay male.
Duncan Fallowell attended fully clothed
Countless white-haired cocks were all about: Duncan Fallowell knew them all so we asked him for IDs. Most amusing as ever and he confided, between canapes and a little chat-up of the German waiter (whose name we'd reveal if we hadn't accidentally binned the scrap of paper), that given the size of the crowd, he was impressed that there were only two people there with whom he'd engaged in carnal relations. He wouldn't say who. Not Nicky Haslam though.
Cilla Black turned up late even though she and Nicky are supposed to have fallen out according to Lynn Barber who left early. The International Herald Tribune's fashion queen Suzy Menkes OBE queued eagerly to get her book signed - just ahead of us so we complimented her violet nail varnish, which was just a ruse to peer into her quiffy rollbar coiffure and marvel. She couldn't wait to see what NH wrote in her book. She's not in it, by the way.
Any number of people posed with their fingers stuck mid-book for the impression they'd "found their mention" - a party strategy to appear important regardless of omission or commission. The elder slebs took lots of pics of each other as if to celebrate unexpected longevity: Andy and Sony would have loved it.
Nicky's niece: her card is in our purse. Why? Carina Haslam (http://www.carinahaslamart.com/). And we also have Johnny Gibson's card who's head of marketing of Sound and Music, at Somerset House. Who he? With Carina?
Duran Duran's Nick Rhodes posed about still with the 60s Liz Taylor mascara while the actress who plays Gail in Coronation Street looked exactly as she does on TV except in better clothes. We met Nicky's "designer stalker" Fish and her very cute friend, a chap called Shaun (or Shawn) who edited the BBC documentary on Nicky out on the 16th.
That was the common party the papers wrote about. The after-party at Mahiki was more fun, despite the exorbitant cocktails - or was it? At one point Nicky sat next to us and we asked whether his young handsome filmmaker boyfriend was here. Nicky said no, he couldn't get hold of him. Awwww.
28 comments:
London's just the best, isn't it. Even with all the crime.
Indeed. Sometime back I went to a wonderful party, wasd ropped off near Earl's Court, was approached by two foreign males, punched to the ground and relieved of my wallet. As I lay in a puddle I started singing. I've always looked back on this experience with a certain affection. My only concern was for my lovely jacket which recovered its health at a Chiswick laundry.
You write better when you're not at the party. Odd that.
I have read Redeeming Features and feel a bit short-changed. Nicky has held back so much dirt it's unbelievable. Also, where did people get this idea he had a romance with Roddy? There's no mention of a romance, only that Roddy dossed at Nicky's place and Nicky fancied him, calling him an imp because he was pretty and tousle haired.
The German waiter was called Christian D . . . and he was marvellous.
Duncan Fallowell
Please track down the waiter and interview him. My boyfriend's a waiter. Thanks from Sophie
Haslam fancied Roddy ?. I thought he had taste.
Mr Fallowell would appear to have a thing for German staff.
I don't think Nicky's book launch sounds all that glamorous. Who else was there?
Ozwald Boateng was there, a hundred feet tall. I wonder what happened to his brother who was supposed to be our first black Prime Minister and used to be on Question Time a lot.
anabelle goldsmith, looking mumsy from the neck down and still so lovely up top. nigel havers. philip schofield. sebastian shakespeare. i heard mandy was there, but didn't see, more's the pity. heard a rumour (DF again) that april ashley was to come, but i didn't see her. lynn barber briefly and early. gillon aitken and clare alexander. vanessa feltz with a daughter and the boyfriend. someone called richard compton miller? again, one of DF's spots. someone (female) called Juju. tall and blonde, i think.
Loads of titles and billionaires too - the most glamorous are the least known. Plus Nicky's relatives - who aren't glam but very jolly.
Hannah Rothschild, Nicholas Coleridge, Bryan Ferry, Sabrina Guinness, Jasper Conran etc etc
Nicky's slipping. Who wants to go to a party to look at the closeted Philip Schofield and Richard Compton-Miller? So, no stars then.
Was Bailey there? Was Mick there? Was Jerry and Bianca there? Was Andy's ashes there? It all sounds rather 'B' list.
B list? You're coming into it at moron level. It was Nicky's list, the real one. You see, it wasn't bling, it wasn't the client-list like last year's media fling in Roehampton. It was old friends, new friends, old money, new money of the whackier sort, for inner-circle eccentrics, for penniless chums and millionaire mates, it was for Nicky's memoirs and therefore for his more intimate life. In other words it was A REAL PARTY as opposed to something laid on for those who weren't there. And we who were there knew absolutely that there was nowhere we'd rather be, and that those who weren't there were, for an hour or two, lesser mortals. Sorry you weren't there. We were.
Was April Ashley there? She's in the book pre-op.
I hear Prince Harry dropped into Mahiki afterwards - to help clear up the empties?
Actually Prince Harry wanted to go to the party but it was vetoed coz of the security problem. The venue was quite small for a jammed noisy crowd but with sensational views across Mayfair and Piccadilly from the terrace. It was the roof of the old Dickens and Jones dept store in Regent Street - and on Guy Fawkes night! - you can imagine the view across the rocket-slashed sky of London! Clever old Nicky! Wonderful wonderful night!
There's a smaller party in New York this week for some of the people you mention, for the US edition. I'm going to that too.
I have to agree with Anon-very B list and sounds more like a product launch (oh yes-it was). April Ashley was smart staying away.
I've been so some of Nicky's REAL PARTIES and they aren't much different to other parties. Just the host is different.
'B' list is a compliment really. That's all there is these days.
Nicky's party was heaven. I still haven't come down.
His boyfriend was there for the launch, just not the afterparty!
That's even odder than his not turning up. What's his name, send pic now.
Just what are Haslam's redeeming features ?
Why did he give up leather-that's when he was most interesting. In his very B-List 'Hello' days. Such fun.
I must agree with Anon-Madame is more cutting when she comments from afar. She is in danger of being seduced by a glass of bubbly. It would be a shame if she lost her edge.
I'm easily seduced you mean
A successful friend who doesn't know Nicky at all was his invited to his book launch. That sums him up, innit?
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