Monday, November 09, 2009

'Tatlersnob': The man who is utterly obsessed with Nicholas Coleridge


Nicholas Coleridge: In the company of Jordan, Megan Fox, Justin Timberlake et al, he is now a sex object: in this instance, the pin-up of 'Tatlersnob'

Even my most unforgiving critics - yes, you - will readily agree that Madame Arcati has a talent for finding human nuggets: very singular creatures with peculiar tastes. The gorgeous Robin Tamblyn and his preoccupation with Kevin Spacey. Fish and her exquisite fanaticism for Nicky Haslam. Now meet "Tatlersnob".

Tatlersnob, 28, is the alias of a young man who has a fixation on ... Nicholas Coleridge, 52 (job title below), the man who presides over Vogue, Glamour, Tatler etc, in the UK. Recently, Tatlersnob began dropping comments on various Arcati posts in praise of Mr Coleridge: after a while I thought, "I do believe I have spotted another nugget for my Museum of Charming Peculiarities." [I thought these words as a proper sentence]

I am quite confident that Tatlersnob is not a tiresome stalker or clinical loon: he appears to have an incomprehensible obsession with the upper classes (as framed in upmarket glossies, I hasten to add), the aristocracy and Coleridge in particular as icon of the genera. Tatlersnob, after a little persuasion, agreed to a brief, explicatory interview ....

Tatlersnob! Crazy name! Now look, it's become apparent from messages you've left on Arcati that you have a thing for the Managing Director of Condé Nast and novelist, Nicholas Coleridge. Tell me as much as possible what this "thing" is and how it started - do not stint on detail.

I'm a 28 year old male from the wilds of Scotland. I do so love the upper class and the aristocracy. All those ex Eton and ex-Le Rosey types: so attractive and sauve.

You stinted on detail. Anyway, starting with what remains of his hair down to his well shod feet, give us a guide to your thoughts on Nicholas' body parts. I mean, what do you think of his face, his shoulders, tum, other areas, legs etc. And tell us what you think he is like as a person.

Mr Coleridge has such a handsome face. He looks quite sporty and like he enjoys the outdoors. His chest looks quite wide and muscular and he seems to have lovely chest hair. He may well ride and so have very muscular thighs and bottom. AS a good snob I'm sure his crown jewels are well polished and sparkling.

In your dreams what would you love to happen between you and Nicholas, bearing in mind he's a happily married father of four. Share your fantasy - do you have fantasies about him?

I would just like him to take me out to dinner. I'm sure he is a very interesting person. It would be so lovely listening to his lovely voice for a couple of hours.

My own view is that Nicholas is a status obsessed snob as reflected in the magazines he oversees such as UK Vogue, Tatler, GQ etc, and in his rather facile novels which are just about money. How is this healthy? Defend your hero/fantasy lover from my brutal assessment.

I'm sure Mr Coleridge is just going by the old adage "write what you know about". He knows so much about high society and the upper classes, then why shouldn't he write about them? Mr [Geordie] Greig and he made a wonderful team at Tatler and Tatler needs to be somewhat snobby to remain a society magazine.

Christmas is a-coming. What would you love to buy Nicholas and him you.

I'm sure he could could find me some vintage copies of Tatler or maybe get me an invitation to bounce around a stately home. I would take him as my guest as it's always fun to have someone else to bounce around a stately home with.

Tatlersnob! Thankyou for sharing. xx

15 comments:

a late Coleridge anscestor said...

sounds as mad as a March hare but rather fun.

Five-Centres said...

I'm sure he'd love a copy of ES magazine. That's also obsessed with the Tatler crowd.

Anonymous said...

I adore Nicholas (and I shall have to consult Ms Haslam about this) - I always thought he was upper middle rather than upper?!

Madame Arcati said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Marvellous 'nugget' - pity Tatlersnob didn't go into more detail about the bouncing around at a stately home.

Madame Arcati said...

ES Mag is dreadfully common, especially now it's part of a giveaway. Even the Big Issue has to be bought.

I would say NC is a product of the upper mc: no one upper class would care that much about money and status. I shall never forget him tearing around a Cartier polo match day in his younger years, like a spooked pony, trying to get a snap of the Queen, who was yawning about. Everything but froth at the mouth - Nick's.

I have also been informed he is quite rude to people who have served their purpose. Deeply common.

Anonymous said...

This person is ghastly Madame. Get rid of him. A vacant self seeking unamusing bore. Begone with him. BD

Madame Arcati said...

Oh he's just a harmless old frother. But that's enough about 'Sir' Nicholas.

Anonymous said...

Who IS Five-Centres?

Madame Arcati said...

Haven't the foggiest, but a fellow Gemini can't be all bad

Madame Arcati said...

Lovely new pic of my fiancee. May put that up next.

Alastair said...

In The Importance of Being Eton Nick Fraser describes Geordie Greig as being dashing and Nicholas Coleridge is also mentioned

Anonymous said...

"The gorgeous Robin Tamblyn and his preoccupation..."

Gorgeous, la Tamblyn?! Obviously 'Madame' has never seen HER!!!

Anonymous said...

It is not a good idea to have a meal with Nicholas Coleridge. He believes it is good manners never to start eating before the other person. A wonderful William Leith profile once began with that observation, following which William would move towards his cutlery, then put it back down and watch Nicholas do the same... over and over...

I wonder if tatlersnob might aadopt the same strange habit?

Alastair said...

Any news on the handsome chaps Mr Coleridge and Mr Greig ? X