Monday, November 30, 2009

Ivanka Trump: You, too, can suck your way to success (just like she didn't)


Donald Trump's Stepford daughter Ivanka tweets me with a come-on to buy her self-help book The Trump Card: Playing To Win in Work and Life. Aged 27, a mere two years out of school, this daddy girl magnate-ette and newly-wed already bestrides the globe as vice-president of the Trump Organisation. To the obvious and correct accusation that her meteoric rise is due to nepotism (and a bit of Paris Hilton-like lucky-me savvy), she displays her proclaimed "humility" with this three-word response in her Introduction: "Get over it".

Her book celebrates her glory in the form of advice to fellow 20-something females wishing to graduate in (a dry form of) corporate fellatio. "When I reach for a book to help me past a hurdle or two in my business life, I don't go looking for a dry manual written by some sixty-year-old male," she writes. But of course. Who needs a manual of experience with her DNA (daddy 'n' all)? Her reference elsewhere to "wizened old boardroom veterans" would suggest the seasoned colleagues of Trump père might want to consider throwing themselves out of a nearby skyscraper window before they're thrown. Watch as their creped, wizened flesh ripples on the downturn.

But Ivanka disciples may need reminding that she is not quite yet the Living Incarnation of Success. The Trump Ocean Resort Baja Mexico, a Trump branded development, went belly up late last year. Its investors claim to have lost $32m and are suing Trump, Ivanka and her brother Donald Trump Jr as well as others for fraud, negligence and breach of fiduciary duty. And in February of this year, The Donald and Ivanka stepped down from the board of Trump Entertainment Resorts Inc prior to its bankruptcy over multi-billion dollar debts.

As Ivanka writes in a surprise outbreak of sense: "It's all too easy to take one tiny misstep in the wrong direction and end up on a completely wrong road."

Here's Ivanka's corporate response to the Baja debacle.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a mean bitch you are. Ivanka is a beautiful and gifted soul whereas you are an ugly, old and untalented person. I hope you choke on your gruel.

Anonymous said...

"DNA (daddy 'n' all)"

Nice.

Hugely Hung Anonymous said...

Sexy Madame . . . get yer knickers off!

Anonymous said...

What a mean-spirited article this is. What a sad person you are. Are you in a wheelchair?

Madame Arcati said...

ooh, Bryn. is that you?

Anonymous said...

Who is this stupid cunt? Who cares?

Bryn Terfel said...

NO

the late Teasy Weasy said...

I hope her hair doesn't end up like Donald's. No-one deserves that.

A Spiritual Guru said...

Remarkably she appears to be genetically botoxed, as if evolution has bestowed on her the refrigerated look that her dear mother Ivana has worked tirelessly to maintain - and at great expense. Truly the rich are different.

Madame Arcati said...

Oh Bryn, light of my life. Your image stands alone on my mantel flanked by scented candles as a CD plays piano music. I know it was you ...

Anonymous said...

Did Ivana's Great Barrier Reef project ever happen or that tower block get built in Las Vegas? Then there's the Beirut thing.

Green Goddess said...

Ouch.

And stop fetishising Bryn. He's a naughty boy and needs to be spamked.

Madame Arcati said...

Yum yum, I'll give him a spanking, set to a metronomic beat so he doesn't get traumatised. Oh and congrats on your acquittal darling. What a marvellous Christmas prezzie.

Madame Arcati said...

I dream of Bryn's piano fingers turning my perfect spine into a Fazoili. Oh to be played on by a master.

Green Goddess said...

Indeed. One more Newton Hearing to go, which I hope will be fine, I think people (DPP, Crown Court Judges) are starting to see through the Hounslow pig's lies and spin. Makes me look reliable. And thanks for the prayers. No, I want to spank Brynn. He'd enjoy it if you did it but I could bring in a nice side order of waterboarding and dental re-engineering.

Madame Arcati said...

Don't be brutal to my Bryn, I discovered him y'know. He's all mine. But back to this cunt Ivanka.

veritas said...

Oh you just reminded me Anon-I went to the launch of Ivana's Great Barrier Reef hotel-in Sydney. She appeared by telecast. No it never happened. We drank the chamapgne and ate all the canapes and left. Should be more of it.

Anonymous said...

As one of the buyers in the Baja investment I am emailing you the particulars. What Ivanka Trump says in that CBS video is beside the point.

Ms Baroque said...

As opposed to "A misstep in the right direction"?

Madame Arcati said...

Ah well spotted Ms B - you've just reminded me to reinstate your site on my blogroll. A slight accident deleted the entire section, so easily done. x