Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Meow meow: A diary fragment from Brighton

A friend writes ...

To Brighton. The club was on the seafront and called Fragment [Volks] I think. I was comforting a 6ft 8in black gay guy who was weeping over his man. "It doesn't matter how many men I rim, I can't get him out of my head." "Stop rimming them" I said. "It only makes it worse." Weeping like a baby he was. Next minute he was up throwing himself on the dance floor with his best mate - who had polio. He was in a wheelchair and had a harelip. Ooh the characters in Brighton!

Meow Meow feels like a cross between coke and ecstasy but without the "edge". It was perfectly nice, made me talk nine to the dozen and love everyone. The guy in the wheelchair was a real ungrateful bastard. I put some meow meow on my finger and shoved some up his nose to cheer him up. His response? "You're a bit stingy with that aren't you?" Cheeky fucker.

 I was dancing to drum and bass (which I hate normally) dancing for four hours in four inch heels and I felt no pain! I went with my toyboy although he's my ex now. We didn't leave the club till 7am.

42 comments:

Betty Horne Impersonator said...

"A friend writes...."

That old one, lol !

Madame Arcati said...

Get lemon drizzled Betty!

Anonymous said...

I have reported your site to the police. Hopefully you will be in jail next week.

Anonymous said...

I wish anonymous would fuck off and do one. Do you think she is the same anon that tried to get this shrine to erudite wit, salacious goss and daring diatrtibe cock-cunting shut down Darling MA? 'Tis enough to make one racist. X

an old lag said...

Brighton was always fun even though my friend died there of cancer. If Madame goes to jail she will meet many Brighton residents.

Peter Purves said...

I am reliably informed that Kevin Spacey prefers "Ruff Ruff".

Madame Arcati said...

I shouldn't be surprised, poppet. However woe to she - yes, she - who acts against me. A wise old witch told me sometime ago that any unjust action against MA would be punished by the unseen forces. The only possible defence might be derangement.

Madame Arcati said...

I'd love to be someone's bitch. But many ex old lags always say prison's not really like that.

Lavinia said...

I've just had my first Ecstasy tablet entirely by mistake - my grandson thought he was giving me a neurofen. Didn't feel a bloody thing. But the trifle I made was superb.

Madame Arcati said...

I am partial to the Georgian ruff myself.

Madame Arcati said...

Lavinia, dear - it warms the pussy.

Anonymous said...

What's rimming?

Duralex said...

The Georgian ruff ? Are you talking about that killing cocktail, a mixture of vodka and beer ? Blerk ! I thought KS would have better taste (if the tidbit is true).

And no, I won't tell you what my favorite mixture is.

Who's the mysterious She who tried to get you blog shut down, Vic darling ? At least it's not me, for I'm no lady. ;-)

Duralex said...

<< What's rimming? >>

Haha ! In French it's called feuille de rose (rose leaf). Much more poetical.

Lavinia said...

Now he's complaining he's got no 'buzz' for the week-end. I am NOT giving him one of my Zopiclones. If he muddles up his pills that's his problem. I need mine for aeroplane travel and those rare occasions when I can't sleep because of post-coital companionship snoring beside me in the small hours.

Madame Arcati said...

Froth-mouthed loons should not be given publicity; let her stew before paralysis.

Madame Arcati said...

Or phew-ille de rose when it comes to the unwashed brits

Madame Arcati said...

Post-coital, Lavinia? I had imagined such activity had dried up, like one's cob webbed fanny.

Lavinia said...

Speak for yourself.

Anonymous said...

Whatever happened to your pal Julie Burchill?

Cecil Fletcher said...

Julie Burchill? She now plays Heather Trott in EastEnders.

Madame Arcati said...

Julie's got a piece in The Sun today about bitches.

Bill Shankly said...

Julie writes in The Sun? I hope she'll write an honest piece about the Hillsborough tragedy. It'll be appreciated in Liverpool.

Madame Arcati said...

Julie's strictly comedy, darling.

Anonymous said...

Julie's no writer.

Anonymous said...

Julie Burchill's the new Carole Malone.

Madame Arcati said...

I just hope Julie doesn't sue. Carole's scaled down the "hells" since Madame Arcati pointed out the over use.

Anonymous said...

OMG. Spill. Did the fat bitch Julie Burchill the poorer man's version of India Knight try and get you shut down? Now there's a story. Alice? Richard? Matthew? Tim? Hugo? Darlings?

Madame Arcati said...

Yer wha'? Why would Julie want to shut MA down? And much as India has her Sunday Times platform, Old Burchie is in a class of her own. Let's be serious, ducky.

Anonymous said...

Amanda Platell Janet Street-Porter Julie Burchill Yasmin Alibai-Brown India Knight =
The evil inconsequential quintuplets of Fleet Street. YAWN. Tired. Ugly. Washed up. Dried out.

Not the OTHER one, 'cause we like her shoes.

Anonymous said...

Why would MA go to jail? She always says she does what she pleases and writes about whomever she fancies. Besides, she'd probably know half of B wing, her penchant for crims and misfits is well-documented. I believe her most favorite "playmate" is in the Big House as I write.

Madame Arcati said...

Suzanne Moore is an authentic independent, not stuck half way up some fat scrote editor with a set of right-wing attitudes for reader comforting. I allow Burchill because at her best she writes for the sake of a well written witticism. A lark for lark's sake.

Madame Arcati said...

Madame's interests drift back and forth irrespective of sand castles.

Anonymous said...

I just said I like SM (not S+M) you old tart...put your glasses back on and your teeth back in, dearie.

Madame Arcati said...

Yes poppet, I was elaborating on your point. Try to keep up.

Anonymous said...

Sand castles? Who is talking about sand castles?

Madame Arcati said...

I am.

Anonymous said...

OH FFS. What has sand castles got to do with being some big bull dyke's biatch in Holloway?

Madame Arcati said...

I'm sure I don't know what you mean, petal. Now run along and have a glass of refreshing Buckfast.

Anonymous said...

DFarling Ma. What is Buckfast?

Madame Arcati said...

Buckfast is the monastic version of meow meow. Never underestimate those devilish monks of the west country.

Anonymous said...

Ooooh. I live a little more enlightened everyday just for knowing you darling. X