Friday, June 17, 2011

Hemingway & Gellhorn: Two lives, two movies, one cliche

Martha & Arthur Ernest
My last post on the late war correspondent Martha Gellhorn has yielded details of two hideous movie biopics of her life with sometime husband Ernest Hemingway. One is being made; the other never will. Thank God.

The first, comically, stars a tached Clive Owen as Martha and untached Nicole Kidman as Arthur in HBO TV flick Hemingway & Gellhorn. Oh, sorry I got that wrong; you make the casting corrections. Owen was a Great British Hollywood Hope for five minutes before he blew it by running around and shouting too much on camera in fulfilment of testicular expectation.

The prospect of him playing a mega-literary scrote with a euncuhy Midwestern accent via Coventry-cum-Essex to a botoxed Aussie fills me with schadenfreude.

The storyline reads: 'A drama centered on the romance between Ernest Hemingway and WWII correspondent Martha Gellhorn, Hemingway's inspiration for For Whom the Bell Tolls and the only woman who ever asked for a divorce from the writer.' In other words, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf.

The other movie is Love Is A Battlefield which fortunately is stuck at website stage. The only thing to be said for it is that it plainly sells the Who's Afraid... line by comparing 'Gutsy Martha' and 'humorous Hemingway' to other warring pairs of movie legend (see video below) - y'know, Mr & Mrs, Ant 'n' Cleo, et al.

Its storyline kicks off: '“Love is a Battlefield” is a truly original screenplay about the tumultuously-entertaining relationship between the charismatic, witty, ruggedly-handsome 38 year-old Ernest Hemingway at the peak of his literary power and his battles with the tall, blonde, beautiful and brave, 28 year-old Martha Gellhorn who would become the most heralded war correspondent of the 20th Century (man or woman).'

Was Martha Gellhorn a man or a woman? Discuss.

Hemingway Gellhorn Script Pitch - click arrow to play


Ciaran Rehill said...

I'd nail Nicole Kidman. Really.

Madame Arcati said...

Crucifixion being your preferred method of execution, plainly.

Anonymous said...

Great laugh that vid. Would work if a big joke.

Anonymous said...

- The prospect of him playing a mega-literary scrote with a euncuhy Midwestern accent via Coventry-cum-Essex to a botoxed Aussie fills me with schadenfreude -

Only you, Madame.

GinMuse said...

Is he going to gain the weight or "act" fat?

'“Love is a Battlefield” should remain a Pat Benetar song.

Anonymous said...

Gellhorn was just another starfucker

the late Duncan Fallowell said...

Where's my book?

Madame Arcati said...

Is the book out yet? Or did the publisher heed my wise astrological words?

Ciaran Rehill said...

Read St Theresa of Avila all that "I had a vision of Christ piercing me to the very bowels" If that ain't Freudian I am a (cont p.9).