Dominique Strauss-Kahn' or 'Norman Mailer, RIP' conjures up mammoth-like unreconstructs quite unsuited to the dinkiness and gleam of modern bathroom suites or video game consoles.
From any normal, socialised human being of the 21st Century, these names, and others, and their primeval behaviour and appearance, elicit a healthy disgust. Not even a back, sac and crack can save the growly, hairy-inside cock-cunties.
This entirely original aesthetic, of disgust at redundant displays of unreconstructed maleness and cock-cuntery, is the work of one man: Mark Simpson. For it was he (yes!) who dreamt up the neologism 'metrosexual'. How and why - Google him or use the links below. I'm not some Peter York-like social historian, dearies, on £3 a word. I don't have to be.
Mark has now brought out a new book on Kindle called simply, Metrosexy - a collection of his scintillating, insightful essays on the condition of the contemporary male, his beauty (which requires educated, post-post-mod work); his bathroom and wardrobe investment; his flight from MacKenzie and co. David Beckham would now not be the tattooed peacock totem of ad hoarding lore but for Mark Simpson. For a generation of palatable cock-cunters he has invented a new world where men can turn their persons into social, scented art without compromising their straight sexuality. Alas, it's not a contribution likely to earn him recognition in the Queen's birthday honours list.
I shall write again about Metrosexy. Meantime, I asked Mark this question: 'Do you think the Pope, Archbishop of Canterbury and other church luminaries are proving to be the most resistant to the metrosexual revolution - if yes, why; and if not, which category of male is, and why?'
Mark Simpson's reply:
'I fear it's too late for the Catholic Church! Look at the homo-erotics of this male stripper troupe, I mean gymnastic display at The Vatican recently, with the nuns cheering and leering outside watching on a big screen! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rbxov7CVi8
'Theoretically the Catholic Church should be very resistant to metrosexuality - after all, St Paul raged against "effeminates", and Christianity has that general suspicion of the body - and the desire to pin everything on Eve.
'But in practice the Pope wears red Prada shoes.
'And the Vatican is in Italy, where men have been vain for millennia and all love their mamas.
'American Protestantism is more resistant and is the reason for that country's national nervous breakdown over metrosexuality. Metrosexuality is both very 'American' in the sense of consumerism/individualism/celebrity/self-perfection but also deeply challenging to fond American fantasies about stoic masculinity and 'manly men'. America has been having a panic about its men not being manly enough since the 19th Century, but in the 21st Century that panic isn't entirely misplaced. I suspect that for the US it's tied closely to anxieties about its imperial role - and its decline.'
Thank you Mark, I sooooo agree. To read Mark's website - click http://www.marksimpson.com/. And read a great interview with him on this excellent site: http://www.quietgirlriot.wordpress.com/ . Elly of Quiet Riot Girl has written a great piece on metrosexuality here.
To buy a copy of Metrosexy, click here.