Sunday, April 22, 2012

Roger Lewis: Why Molly Parkin's not been invited to Michael Gove dinner at Garrick

Garrick Club (Area)
Venue of Roger Lewis Dinner
Dear Madame Arcati,

Thrilled about Noyle's [Molly Parkin's] Civil List Pension -- I think it is almost as much as £2,000 a year! We can all go to Sheekey's once a quarter on that!

My chum Paul Bailey is a Civil Lister, too, and much to his surprise the stipend was subject to tax. So maybe it won't be Sheekey's after all, but The Golden Egg, if the chain is still going.

Did I tell you that next Wednesday The Right Honourable Michael Gove MP is very kindly and generously hosting a dinner in my honour at The Garrick Club, what I am calling The Roger Lewis Memorial Dinner? The guests include Barry Cryer, Craig Brown, Herbert Kretzmer, Quentin Letts, Barbara Windsor, Duncan Fallowell (of course ) ... Francis Wheenie can't come because of his poorly back. Noyle couldn't be invited because you can't talk about having light bulbs and toothbrushes shoved up your twatty in The Garrick Club as it's against the rules.

I am also pleased to tell you that Mavis Nicholson and I have made it up -- we fell out when I told her I was on the dry and did she have any thoughts about what intoxicants I could get keen on instead, and she said ( in the pages of The Oldie ) that I reminded her of her sister, who was a hopeless alcoholic who was sectioned in the Powys County Asylum, where she caught the Alzheimer's ( off a lavatory seat ? ) and croaked. And I thought,Cheers, Mave ! Bloody hell ! Anyway we are now friends again.

Adoringly,

Roger

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Name drop, elderly name drop, zzzzzzz

Madame Arcati said...

Yes and there's much more to come, bitch

Anonymous said...

The letter reeks of unpleasantness.