Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Is Israel ready for Arcati?

Yes, I am off to the Middle East on Friday for a few days. Tel Aviv and then Haifa with quite a few clubs in between. I may post per day, or I may not: depends. Unlike Andrew Sullivan's Daily Dish I can't call on Clive Davis to run things in my absence though I like to think that my lively international audience of anons will continue to thrust and parry in comments prior to defeat at my hands. How pathetically these anons try to outwit me before running out of steam ... Dinu, Duralex, Lorenzo, Daughter of a Bitch (the sad tart should confine herself to youf sites) and other presumptuous fools ... and not forgetting old Walter Ellis and his intact prostate. I have ordered a book of his and will take an especial interest in his dubious friends of yesteryear. My mind turns to Airey Neave, RIP, for some reason ...

Israeli security always give me a hard time at the airport, I can't think why. It must be something in my aura. Incidentally, the Stephanie Mastini Exhibition will happen either just before I leave or just after; I am still trying to decide whether to create an external gallery linked to this site or post her images on the site itelf. Do feel free to advise.

Finally, which member of the royal family used to cruise the South Bank area? (no, NOT Prince Edward, try to behave).

11 comments:

Walter Ellis said...

I hope you enjoy Israel. I lived there for a time years ago and will follow your observations with the keenest interest. As for your purchase of my memoir, The Beginning of the End: The Crippling Disadvantage of a Happy Irish Childhood (Mainstream), I like to think that you will learn from its pages to appreciate my finer qualities. I am already taking bets on which anecdotes you will select for your dissection.

It is an irony, don't you think. that you disparage your critics for their anonymity yet maintain a respectful silence in respect of your own identity?

But bon voyage! I shall ask my friends at Lod (much as I used to ask my hard-worked proctologist) to keep an eye out for unusual movements.

Ms Baroque said...

Walter, everyone knows she's Madame Arcati!

Anonymous said...

Why go to Israel, Madame? You Wailing Wall is here and nowhere else :-).

Anonymous said...

Er, I meant "youR Wailing Wall", of course... although that keyboard slip could make some surrealistic sense...

Anonymous said...

< Finally, which member of the royal family used to cruise the South Bank area? >

Jack the Ripper!

Ah, no, that's Whitechapel... :-(

Arcati said...

Dear Walter, as the darling Ms Baraoque says, I am Arcati. I have launched a retrospective lawsuit against the Noel Coward estate for breach of copyright of my person. I cannot tolerate the past trying to crowd the present.

Anonymous said...

< Incidentally, the Stephanie Mastini Exhibition will happen either just before I leave or just after; I am still trying to decide whether to create an external gallery linked to this site or post her images on the site itelf. Do feel free to advise. >

Why not ask Steph to decide for herself? She's not your plaything, is she?

Famous Anon said...

"How pathetically these anons try to outwit me before running out of steam ... Dinu, Duralex, Lorenzo, Daughter of a Bitch (the sad tart should confine herself to youf sites) and other presumptuous fools"

Madame Arcati is brimming with smug self-satisfaction over her own smartness and wit. She's taking herself as seriously as a hen who's just laid an egg. She doesn't know that the only true humour is self-humour.
Consequently, she irritates, but she doesn't entertain. Hence her numerous opponents.
God, I hope I'll get the glory of the sidebar for this! :-)

Famous Anon said...

And my dream came true!!! I can't believe it... Are you sure you're all right, Madame A?

Arcati said...

It was a splendid message, Famous Anon, brutal and focussed. Keep it up. MA x

Duralex said...

Didn't I tell you she's a masochist ?