Thursday, April 05, 2007

Comedy star. Buggery. Toilet.

Which famous and dashing comedy star of our island race - who's definitely no laydee! - was very recently to be seen performing the act of buggery on another male in a gentlemen's rest room?

18 comments:

Duralex said...

Do you mean on screen, on stage, in real life or in some fashionable gallery ? With all that conceptual art show mania you seem to suffer from in the U.K., one never knows...

Anyway, this is what is called a cottaging scandal, isn't it ? You're incorrigible, Madame ! I'm waiting for Dinu's comments, now :-)

Lavinia said...

Was it Cicely Courtnedge? Known to deploy a strap-on. Can I have a dozen double damask dinner napkins for getting it right?

Anonymous said...

< ... was very recently to be seen... >

Seen by who? Come on Arcati, tell us about your sources! And mind you, we want names, otherwise...

God gracious, madame, your blog is sometimes getting worse than Perez Hilton :-(((. But my guess is you won't find plenty of people out here to play that disgusting little game (the post above is a funny joke, thank you Lavinia).

Arcati said...

Darling Duralex - if only you were as intimately knowledgeable of British culture and celebrity as you are of the French language, you wouldn't ask such naive questions. Cottaging died with Joe Orton (that's a novelist's tectonic plate truth, maybe not a sociological one). The sex act described took place at a very esteemed London party venue, as other guests but a few feet away, the other side of a wall, exacerbated their halitosis on canapes.

Dinu appears to have had a sex change and now calls himself Dana, if my sources at Ms Baroque are to be believed .... I look forward to one of his souffles of indignation, fiddling drama queen that he is ....

Lavinia, guess again, but you have given me an idea for a prize. It's time Arcati gave something back to her long-suffering but voluntary readers....

As to "anonymous", who sounds suspiciously like Dinu/Dana, h/she demands sources. Goodness, h/she sounds like HM Government which has tried in vain to exterminate civil servant whistle-blowers. "Anon" is curiously informed on Perez Hilton, I suspect that h/she is an avid consumer of tittle-tattle while busily self-pleasuring him/herself in a state of manufactured disappoval over his/her keyboard.

Happy Easter one and all .... MA xx

Anonymous said...

"As to "anonymous", who sounds suspiciously like Dinu/Dana"

Don't forget that good ol' Jasper, hehehe ;-)

Duralex said...

<< Cottaging died with Joe Orton (that's a novelist's tectonic plate truth, maybe not a sociological one). >>

Ahem, I'm afraid I don't understand at all what you mean. I found an article about Joe Orton in the Wikipedia (I humbly confess I had never heard of him before) and I couldn't see any connection with cottaging and why it died with him, and what the hell is "a novelist's tectonic plate truth". But I'm sure you'll be kind enough to enlighten me.

<< The sex act described took place at a very esteemed London party venue, as other guests but a few feet away, the other side of a wall, exacerbated their halitosis on canapes. >>

No direct witness, if so, unless there was a "passe-muraille" [1] among the guests. I naturally assume that the two genlemen had duly and decently locked the door before doing their... exercises. In which case there might have been nothing to be seen... but maybe a little something to be heard. :-)
Whatever the awful truth is, my advice is that you try sex at parties, Madame - that is, if you can find a volunteer. It would help you realize what you're missing by limiting yourself to the canapes.

[1] "Passe-muraille" is an allusion to the french title and main character of Marcel Aymé's delightful short story 'The man who walked through walls'. More information here :

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcel_Ayme

Anonymous said...

Arcati said:

""Anon" is curiously informed on Perez Hilton, I suspect that h/she is an avid consumer of tittle-tattle"

The pot calling the kettle black, once again.

Tricky said...

'As to "anonymous", who sounds suspiciously like Dinu/Dana, h/she demands sources. Goodness, h/she sounds like HM Government which has tried in vain to exterminate civil servant whistle-blowers.'
Is it illegal to have sex in the toilet in GB? Pfff, that would be really sad.

dick said...

Peter Greenaway would concur whole-heartedly with this statement. :-)

Dinu said...

Yet another Arcati atrocity - a great artist - whoever he maybe - made the subject of impertinent gossip, when we should remember that an Artist (yes capital A) exists to beautify our lives and not have their sexual habits paraded in this low way. People are not interested that this Artist inserted his cock into someone's ass, you tabloid witch. And to think I've just returned from a concert tour of the glamorous Antarctic to come across this rubbish. I serenaded polar bears and penguins, I raised their cultural expectations with my beautiful violin. And after all that - this! It makes me want to throw up, except Artists don't throw up, it's just that I'm lowering myself to your level. It won't last.

duralex said...

Steady on Dinu, you'll be going up Arcati's chimney next, or is it tail pipe? I always get a bit confused because I associate homosexual behaviour with exhaust systems for obvious reasons, well you should know!! I know you can take a joke, you're my special friend because - as we frogs say - un sot trouve toujours un plus sot qui l'admire.

Anonymous said...

Ah, LOL :-)))! Is Arcati experiencing the delights of cyber-hoax, at last?
The pastiches are rather funny, for an amateur work, but the machiavellian twist has still to be improved. Keep it going!

The genuine Duralex said...

<< - as we frogs say - >>

Too bad I'm not a bona fide frog (didn't I tell you I'm from Québec ?).

<< un sot trouve toujours un plus sot qui l'admire. >>

You forgot the author's name : Nicolas Boileau (Art poétique, chant 1).

As you apparently can read french, here's another quote, specially for you :

"Passer pour un idiot aux yeux d'un imbécile est une volupté de fin gourmet." (Georges Courteline)

But where's Dinu hiding, tabernak ?!!!

:-)))

Dinu the First and the only one said...

O Dumnezeu, Boge moi, God almighty, what’s going on here? I can’t be away from my computer for five minutes, they all miss me, they all need me, they all want me back. They see me everywhere. I’ll even find a clumsy amateur usurping my name, sitting on my throne and trying to impersonate me (as if)! It suddenly looks like I’m raised to the position of mythical Arcatilander. Wow, I exist, I really do!

Well, hey World, here I am!  Where shall I begin?

To our gracious host first:

[Dinu appears to have had a sex change and now calls himself Dana, if my sources at Ms Baroque are to be believed ....]

I beg your pardon, but… what the hell am I supposed to reply if you speak by riddles? I’m not related to any Diana, and why should Ms. Baroque have anything to do with this? I’m puzzled!

[As to "anonymous", who sounds suspiciously like Dinu/Dana, h/she… is curiously informed on Perez Hilton]

Who among us gay artists didn’t hear of Perez Hilton, aka Mario Lavandeira? I know him of course, but you won’t be surprised if I tell you I don’t particularly appreciate him, and never posted on his blog, for there’s a level under which I definitely refuse to lower myself (yeah, my own self-made parody ;->). You may consider yourself very privileged that I chose you as my favourite intimate enemy on the net. So I can’t figure out what that Dinu / Diana / Perez Hilton stuff is about. Did I miss a step somewhere?

[fiddling drama queen that he is ....]

You can’t hide your homophobia, can you? But you know, this sounds just fine to me. I’ll wilfully be a drama queen, and even a screaming queen… anything rather than a garbage digger.

To the fake Dinu now:

[Yet another Arcati atrocity. … It won't last.]

One big helluva laugh! Is that the “something fishy” I was promised a few weeks ago, Madame? Well, you took your time, but the result was worth waiting for. The funniest thing is that your crystal ball didn’t lie to you about my concert tour in the “glamorous Antarctic” – even though it was the wrong hemisphere. I was in Reykjavik (Iceland) these later days. Pretty chilly there, my violin didn’t like it at all. But the penguins are a very warm audience. ;-)

As for that “dashing comedy star”, I hope he had a grand time in the gentlemen’s rest room with his – certainly consenting – partner. Do you know what? You should now follow Duralex’ wise advice, and then tell us everything about such a hot, saucy tryst (and please don’t listen to the mean-spirited people who might call it a non-event).

Anonymous said...

Errr... Dinu, did you notice the quote in the left margin of the page? Just wondering...

Duralex said...

Oh, Madame, you shouldn't make such a display of your private mail, especially when it turns out to be so cruelly unflattering. But I've been suspecting since long ago that you're a masochist... :-)

Dinu said...

Oï, come on, Duralex, use your brains! Why would I send Arcati private insulting mails, whereas her "masochism" allows me to beat the sh*t out of her publicly, on her unmoderated blog? ;-)
One thing is for sure: someone is playing tricks on me (identity theft, parody...). But I don't care a damn. After all, it's clearly Arcati's problem, much more than mine! :-)

Anonymous said...

(Whistles) You people have way too much time on your hands!!!