Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Royal romance! "Pass the sick-bag, Alice"

One of my more astute and discerning readers draws my attention to two divergent newspaper think pieces, arising from the ongoing tedious narrative of where Prince William should settle his cock for matrimonial purposes.

On the 14th, Penny Junor wrote a piece in The Sunday Telegraph [click here] on the perils of a public romance now that Kate Middleton has been seen off. Written with all the sensitivity and concern of an eleventh hour turnaround, she concluded, wisely: "Perhaps the only option is for him [Prince William] to marry someone from a royal family, as they are the only people equipped to cope with the life that follows." It might also be clarified that another royal would understand the Prince's atavistic impulse to insert his cock in another person after a courtesy period of fidelity.

But, that's beside the point. Following this piece, yesterday Sam Leith penned an item for the Daily Telegraph [click here] in which he mocked those sad journalists who have provided a running commentary on the royal romance and its crack up. Might Sam have been thinking of his mother - Penny Junor?

My hawk-eyed correspondent invites me to solve this mystery by the ancient practice of scrying, but alas even the mystical and immemorial cannot penetrate this one. Clairaudiently, however, I do hear the faint music of laughter emanating from the Junor/Leith direction, as money for old rope gets banked and a cake is had and eaten. And I'd swear I heard Penny's editor dad, the late Sir John Junor, mutter: "Pass the sick-bag, Alice" - his famous disapproving catchphrase.

No comments: