Some sad New Age bitch recently asked your media clairvoyante why I'm so mean. Couldn't I do or say something positive and infuse Mummy Gaia with a karma-breaking vibe? Well, I am happy to oblige.
I have just signed up to the campaign to get David Hasselhoff to No 1 - single tbc. Just go to http://www.gethasselhofftonumber1.com/ and leave them your email address. Then that's one more vote on their Hoff-o-meter. 75,000 sign-ups is the target - easy to achieve now it has my backing.
"Think what he's given to the world," the site reminds us. "Knight Rider. Baywatch. The reunification of East and West Germany. Untold laughter from forwarded e-mails of him in hotpants. He's given a lot. It's time we gave something back."
Is this positive enough for you, New Age bitch?