Monday, June 25, 2007

Hugh Hefner - 'Fuck her daddy!'

A biopic of Playboy legend Hugh Hefner is now underway with director Brett Ratner at the helm. It will be called Playboy - that helped get Hef's OK on the project I'm sure. I am confident that a 12" prosthetic penis is now in its mould awaiting future attachment to the hunkiest actor Hollywood can find to play the bathrobed spurter who liberated men the world over to fuck themselves silly.

If you've ever wondered what joys await the bunnies who've served Hef and his pals over the years, then this extract from an interview with ex-bunny Jill Ann Spaulding may enlighten you:

Q: How is a man who's 78 years-old [81 now] able to have sex with that many women?

JAS: He doesn't really do anything. He just lies there with his Viagra erection. It's just a fake erection, and each girl gets on top of him for two minutes while the girls in the background try to keep him excited. They'll yell things like, "fuck her daddy, fuckk her daddaddy!" There's a lot of cheerleader going on!

Q: After the two minutes are up what happens?

JAS: The main girlfriend wipes off his penis. She's the girl who actually shares the bed with him. She sleeps there all night. She's around 22 years old. He uses all the same girls. She's been there for three years now.

Q: Don't you think that's crazy?

JAS: Yeah, but nobody really knows. I don't think even the main guests know all this. When it first gets started his main girlfriend gives him [oral sex], then she has sex with him. She's the first to go because that's the safest for her.

Q: Does Hef use a condom when he had sex with these women?

JAS: No. No protection and no testing. He doesn't care.

Q: Don't the girls he's having sex with care?

JAS: They care, but they're also getting $2000 a week.

Q: But you're in the room as well. What are you doing?

JAS: I'm just thinking to myself, "Oh my God!" But I wanted to be a Playmate and this is the way to do it.

Q: If you didn't have sex with Hef, what were you doing specifically?

JAS: Each girl pairs up with another girl and they pretend to have girl on girl sex while Hef is having his turn with the other girl. It's not real lesbian sex. We're just pretending. Nobody else really likes each other. There's also gay porn on in the background.

Q: I was told that Hef likes to watch male gay porn by former Playboy centerfold Victoria Zdrok. Did you find that odd?

JAS: Yes, but I think he needs to see that stuff to help him stay [erect].

From Crazy Gossip.


Walter Ellis said...

Thank you. You have answered my questions.

Anonymous said...

Oh Walter, don't be so grumpy, this is hilarious !

Anonymous said...

I feel soiled merely from reading that interview

Anonymous said...

got any pictures to go with this story

Anonymous said...

Please, please no pics. It'd make me bring up my lunch

Anonymous said...

<< I feel soiled merely from reading that interview >>

My bet is that there's 20% reality and 80% legend in it.