Thursday, October 21, 2010

Eve Pollard OBE: A one-woman gallery in bones booklet

There I was minding my own business in a public waiting room when I had the creepy feeling of being stared at. It took me a moment or two to identify the ogler.

It was Eve Pollard OBE. One-time editor of the Sunday Mirror and Sunday Express. Inter alia!

Not that the poppet was actually in the room. Her translucently youthful visage stared out from the cover of a booklet on the wall shelf dedicated to the fascinating topic of osteoporotic women. I thought I was seeing double at first until I realised that there were two cover images of the woman Private Eye once dubbed La Bollard.

Why two? I mean, is the booklet about bones or Boll? Fascinated I opened the publication, unfortunately titled Breaking the Silence (as in snap, crackle etc), and there I found a third image of the woman whose fringe definitely needs pruning. Turn the page again and... you guessed it. Yet another snap of the grand lady of tabloid hell (emeritus), her head tilted to one side to signify her engaged focus.

Indeed, there are six pics of Eve in the eight page booklet (including front and back covers). I can only assume that her multiple appearances of undaunted vim are intended to inspire women to sweep up their bone crumbs and do something to stick them together again. Well, I guess.

But at least the woman who used to send out photographers to take pictures of desired shoes in shop windows is doing something useful with herself. Something selfless. And if that means the admiring over-attentiveness of the camera, so be it.

4 comments:

Joe MacFarlane. said...

Too much oestragen baby.

Madame Arcati said...

Sounds like she needs a plumber.

Joe MacFarlane said...

There are no Jewish plumbers;)

Anonymous said...

Dame Eve was one of the more decent newspaper editors unlike your friend Bridget 'Death' Rowe. You will be punished of course.