Monday, October 25, 2010

Molly Parkin savaged by the Dowager Melly: Oh Diana!

The patron saint of Dianas
A most brutal attack in yesterday's Mail on Sunday by the Dowager Diana Melly on my glorious fiancee Molly Parkin.

Through the mediumship of the journalist Moira Petty, she challenges Molly's story in her memoirs Welcome to Mollywood that Diana's late husband and jazz star George Melly invited his former sometime lover Moll into his bed as he lay dying for a final cuddle. 'Shameless lies!' the dowager hollers before making all sorts of scandalous allegations against Molly that can only serve to boost Mollywood sales.


Darling Molly is more than capable of dealing with Diana. But I would point out that the TV cameraman who Diana says failed to record Moll and George's non-under-the-duvet swansong had left the room when George felt poignantly cuddlesome. Molly politely declined his invitation, incidentally.

I think the problem here lies in the dowager's name, Diana. Ever since the late sainted Princess Di made a martyr of herself in various ways, the name has taken on the mantle of suffering, whingeing and attention-seeking. I believe the very name Diana has assumed an infectious personality of its own which bestows upon all its incarnations called Diana a querulous and whiny disposition. I may be wrong, but I have noticed this about Dianas. Frankly I won't have them in the house. I caution you against anyone called Diana.

For this reason then I cannot be angry with the dowager. Like all Dianas I am prepared to blame someone else for the fault. In this case Princess Diana.


veritas said...

Molly should have got into bed with Melly. It would have been the highlight of the film.

Madame Arcati said...

But perhaps Diana would have picked up a cleaver and hacked them to death in a jealous rage. Great footage.

Anonymous said...

Gerontophilia Week?

Madame Arcati said...

This site is dedicated to gerontophilia, any day of the week of the year.

Christina @ Fashion's Most Wanted said...

Dear MA, I watched the documentary on George Melly just before he died and Molly was fabulous in it. He was obviously delighted to see her.

You've reminded me I must go and buy the book on Amazon now.

In answer to your last message, I'm very well thank you. Hope you are too. Let me know when you're going to be in town xx

Ms Baroque said...

Do Dianes count? My life was once ruined by a Diane, who affected a Diana-like attitude of little-girlery - she actually used to give a little *skip* as she walked across the room - and used passive aggression and backstabbing to bully everyone below her in the organisational structure.

Madame Arcati said...

Oh yes Dianes count, ever since Miss Diane of Crossroads fame. Indeed any name with Di in it must be treated with caution.