Monday, February 21, 2011

Benedict Cumberbatch: Frankenstein stark naked and no small talk

Benedict Cumberbatch
Dearest Madame,

I see you are once more on holiday [since ended], but this is too good not to share given your love of celebrity cock on display (apart from John Barrowman's, which has been thrust in the face of 80% of the population of the North Atlantic seaboard).

I saw Frankenstein at the National last night. A questionable adaptation (Frankenstein himself is badly drawn and there's a lot of clunking punning on Paradise Lost) saved by wonderful lighting design and Benedict Cumberbatch who played the Creature the night I saw it.

It opens with the Creature's birth, which involves TV's Sherlock Holmes gadding around the stage stark naked for around ten minutes. No attempt is made to hide his manhood, which is on full display. I can also confirm he has very firm buttocks.

He's swapping the role nightly with Jonny Lee Miller (who, as Frankenstein was cruelly exposed as the ageing matinee idol he is) so doubtless he'll be on full display as well. Double portions!

As a sidenote, I was at university with Mr Cumberbatch, who was two years above me and very much destined for greatness at the tender age of 20. He was often to be found in the kitchen at parties talking with great intensity about acting. Hopeless at smalltalk, but then you do find with the very best actors that they're unsure as to how to be themselves.

I didn't manage to sneak a photo of the penis in question (the tuts would have been deafening) but perhaps another of your readers might?

Yours, as always, C x

Dear C

Thank you for your letter. Mr Cumberbatch would make a superb Doctor Who, naked or otherwise. Your failure to describe his cock is a matter of concern.

Best wishes

Madame Arcati

Frankenstein at the National Theatre, click here for details

17 comments:

Joe MacFarlane said...

His Mum is Wanda Ventham. I would.

Anonymous said...

This is a very odd site and I'm only here because of Benedict. Are you legal?

Anonymous said...

you will see everything. I went to the show on Saturday evening - and Jonny Lee Miller is naked for about 10 minutes

veritas said...

Cumberbatch has those skinny looks that means a huge dick. The tight buttocks would confirm this. Wacky name though.

Regina Size said...

Having seen Cumberbatch in the altogether at the National I regret to announce that if he lay down naked in a forest clearing a squirrel might mistake his manhood for an acorn and bury it. I have no doubt the cool air conditioning didn't help, what with stage nerves and other stresses. It lacked Daniel Radcliffe's meaty sway (and Dan is only about 5ft while Cumberbatch is massive, man).

Anonymous said...

No thick n juicy Latino heavy swinger then . . .

Joe MacFarlane said...

I was asked to do Shostakovitch naked (bizarre eh?). I was thinking about it but turned it down as 1. The role did not demand me to be naked and 2. I would have run into the audience (OK the fit females part) yelling "I am a grower, not a shower".

Madame Arcati said...

When in doubt cast Malcolm McDowell. That's all I have to say.

Anonymous said...

Dove le pic of it?

Madame Arcati said...

Non ho foto, soltanto una memoria

The Sun's TV Biz desk said...

Thanks Madame. We lifted this story today for our TV pages and added our own made up quote. Cheers!

Anonymous said...

he's a grower, like many men, myself included, what are you used to? horses??

OliviaNeutronBomb said...

I didn't manage to sneak a photo of the penis in question (the tuts would have been deafening)

The tuts might have been deafening but I'd wager a few tut-ters would sidle up to you after the show and ask, "May I get a copy of that photo?"

Anonymous said...

Having seen Cumberbatch in the altogether at the National I regret to announce that if he lay down naked in a forest clearing a squirrel might mistake his manhood for an acorn and bury it. I have no doubt the cool air conditioning didn't help, what with stage nerves and other stresses. It lacked Daniel Radcliffe's meaty sway (and Dan is only about 5ft while Cumberbatch is massive, man).

Is this true?

Anonymous said...

I don't think so. I have a friend who was there who told that his man parts were impressive.

Green Goddess said...

Good. Grief. Do you think it's gorgeous and women want to worship at its altar,like Duncan Fallowell?

Anonymous said...

benedic it amazing don't dis