Friday, September 09, 2011

Molly Parkin: So, what's Angelina Jolie really like in a London shop?

Angelina Jolie
My everlasting fiancee Molly Parkin has told me of her encounter with Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt and their von Trapp-like brood in a London shop the other day.

Moll had time to kill before sitting down to Almodovar's latest movie The Skin I Live In at her local Curzon cinema in the King's Road. 'So I popped opposite over the road into my favourite punk boutique Ad Hoc, also known as "Boy",' she says. 'I take all visitors to London to this tiny outlet - it personifies everything that Chelsea was once world-renowned for: originality, flair, theatrical excess; in direct contrast to the dire conformity of Marks & Spencer further up the King's Road.'

There, she bumped into the Hollywood star - whom she'd never met before - and soon got on chatting terms with her and two of her children, daughters Zahara and Shiloh: 'To open the conversation I congratulated Angelina on her family. Not her beauty or her fame or her film performances. At rock bottom she is a mother.

'There were no nannies present. I assumed no security, but I later learnt that before Angelina's arrival, about eight Brangelina security men and women had checked the shop out first and had kept an eye on me when I approached.

'I liked the way she pointed out to the clamouring children that if they spent their pocket money on "fripperies", they would have none left for ice cream later - and they accepted this without demur.

Molly Parkin
'On introduction they offered their hands for a handshake, with enchanting smiles. Heart-breakers; pre-teen. When I told Angelina my name was Molly and that I was an artist she responded, "I can tell that!" Angelina herself was very demurely garbed and devoid of makeup. She had the aura of a schoolgirl chum you could stay in touch with for life.

'She responded eagerly when I said this was the very best shop in London for the young at heart, kids of all ages, confiding that she had been a customer there since the age of 14.

'On my departure I noticed they were being picked up by Brad who expressed admiration for my Andrew Logan brooch - my pulses quickened, I do admit that. His handsome features were those of a younger understudy, or a cloned minder, so maybe it wasn't Brad; but the effect was the same.'

How enchanting. A lovely celebrity encounter for a change. Coincidentally I have just completed Brad's and Angelina's horoscopes (not commissioned by them) and would say she is the disciplinarian of the two while he is the controller of purse strings. A pair built to last together despite periodic rumours to the contrary.

Ad Hoc
And incidentally, in other matters, Molly Parkin talks about her girlhood paper round in Radio 4's The Paper Round on September 20 at 3,45pm (details, click here) - this features her duet with Bing Crosby.

And if you didn't catch her Desert Island Discs appearance on Radio 4 earlier this year, click here to listen to it. She's at 13th if you scroll down the page.

PS I learn from Ad Hoc, that after Moll had left the shop, Angelina asked the staff who that 'wonderful, extraordinary lady' was. Now she knows.

PPS Molly is now certain it was Brad Pitt at Ad Hoc and not a security man. She has examined recent shaved pics.


Ciaran Rehill said...

Walking around without security? Ooh Matron!

Mary Quaint said...

Is Molly now poster girl for Ad Hoc? I hope they're paying her. And you!

HOBAC said...

We could all do with a little more Parkin in our lives.

Anonymous said...

I'd like to read your horoscopes of the golden couple

Anonymous said...

Are her blowjob lips enhanced with injections? Angelina's, I mean

Anonymous said...

Molly should be working for Hello as the Marquesa.

the late Bing Crosby said...

a nice little report and Madame is correct- Kings Road is a shadow of it's former self. I'm confused though- Was it Brad or not ?

Madame Arcati said...

Molly and I have discussed this matter at length, whether 'twas Brad or not. Actual Brad wears a hideous ageing wispy beard at the moment and the 'Brad' Moll saw bore a hairless visage. Ergo, we concluded Ange had hired a Brad looka(sexy)like. But Brad was in London when Ange visited Ad Hoc. The couple will always be welcome at the Chelsea Arts Club. Ange is a Gemini, btw.

Anonymous said...

The shop looks no bigger than a rabbit hutch.

Madame Arcati said...

Also, I have added some stuff about Brangelina's security. It turns out 8 security checked out Ad Hoc before allowing their celeb charges to shop.