Saturday, January 23, 2010

'Demure' Jean Simmons gets the recycling treatment of hackery


Demure. It's the adjective du jour. That's because Jean - "thought she was dead already" - Simmons has just died. If you write "Jean Simmons demure" into the Google search box you get 4,210 results (as I write).  All those cut 'n' paste jobs drag-netting "demure" into the catch as thousands of hacks worldwide try to encapsulate the long celebrated life of someone scarcely on their radar. Mention Spartacus, the mental light bulbs flash.

Thanks to Google and other search engines Jean Simmons gets confused with Gene Simmons, the KISS vocalist and bassist, who according to the search has never abused alcohol while poor old Jean did - because she became "depressed  by the lack of quality parts", a phrase that recurs word for word in thousands of obits. Lest we forget, Jean was a "British beauty" - a phrase used in over 30,000 lifts.

Jean Simmons "starred in films with legendary actors Laurence Olivier and Marlon Brando...": this xeroxed formulation pops up on the BBC, USA Today, India Times, Metro Radio and hundreds of other places. She "sang with Marlon Brando in Guys and Dolls" - another 24,000+ cut 'n' pastes.

She was, after all, the "Guys and Dolls actress". Etc.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

She'd have been much bigger if Audrey Hepburn hadn't come along and raised Jean's thing to a whole new level.

Madame Arcati said...

Mmm not sure I quite understand that statement ...

Ron Broxted said...

She should have got an oscar for Varinia. The book has her as tall and blonde. She was the only slave with a British accent, the rest are all U.S.

Madame Arcati said...

Olivier's accent for Crassus was sublime thesp English - Charles Laughton sounded like Annie Walker after the sex change.

Ron Broxted said...

They cut Laughtons death scene. In the films final version he draws the curtain, holding the dagger. The death scene was meant to be him having a row with Julia (slave/concubine).

Anonymous said...

Which drug are you on?

Anonymous said...

I love u Madame when you're cryptic.

Ron Broxted said...

I memorized the script. Including cut scenes. Go fish.

Madame Arcati said...

Beware fishing in Crassus' bath pool.

Blithe Spirit said...

“I love u Madame when you're cryptic”
The way I see it, more often than not, MA’s communication style says “meet me halfway or f*ck off”, which is what makes this blog such an interesting and entertaining read.

I feel the same about descriptions/ opinions about actors, MA darling. It annoys the heck out of me to read interviews of someone in particular were whoever is writing the article seems to be taking dictation as to the manner of the interviewee's acting ability or personality describing them over and over with the same word(s) which many times are not even truthful to the individual in question – like demure. Lazy and impolite.

R.I.P. Jane Simmons.
ox

veritas said...

Make that 24001+. Just reported on ABC TV news in Australia:
"starred in films with legendary actors Laurence Olivier and Marlon Brando...".......

Madame Arcati said...

Dear Blithe, you know me soooo well. It's strange that people start out in life wanting to write, default into journalism and end up as PR secretaries to the stars.

Ron Broxted said...

Do you prefer snails or oysters?

Barbu said...

You get 4070 google links for 'Jean Simmons ghastly', by the way.

And she was unutterably ghastly in Black Narcissus, wasn't she? I thought she was auditonioning for Carry On Cleo.

Anonymous said...

Madame isn't immune to the annoying hack cliche of using a photo of the deceased that's at least half a century old. She looked so unlike that photo when she died as to be an entirely different person (as indeed we all are between youth and old age). Granted, that's what she looked like at the height of her fame, but at least include a recent photo.

Madame Arcati said...

Oh no, Black Narcissus is wonderful. Couldn't disagree more. Lovely painted mountains.

Madame Arcati said...

Why a recent photo? - so you can relish the crepe? A most recent pic might be of her corpse, but that's not available online yet.

Anonymous said...

Not a photo of her corpse but
as an older woman. Photos of her looking glamorous and attractive in her 60s and 70s aren't hard to find. There isn't much difference between describing her as demure and using an ancient photo of her looking demure.

http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/memoryalpha/en/images/thumb/8/83/Norah_Satie.jpg/292px-Norah_Satie.jpg

Nat Bocking said...

I noticed that endless recycling too. Jean was a nice woman who never forgot her Wood Green roots. I photographed her several times in 1999 so there must be some photos of her in her dotage available.

Madame Arcati said...

Thanks Nat. What was she like? Any personal observations to share?, you can email me if you like.