Saturday, January 09, 2010

Iris Robinson: A 19-year-old cock sexes up dreary Northern Ireland


Yes, Mrs Robinson. Kirk, below

Thank God Himself for a 19-year-old cock and the role it is playing in possibly liberating the wife of Northern Ireland's First Minister from the hideous straitjacket of evangelical Christianity.

Only last year Protestant Iris Robinson, 60, quoted bibilical scripture in her condemnation of homosexuality as an abomination (I must recommend Paul Golding's masterly novel The Abomination, btw). Now we learn she had an extra-marital affair with gorgeous, strapping Catholic Kirk McCambley, 21, but 19 or 20 when they commenced the abomination of extra-marital cock-cunting. And in a cruel irony for Mrs R, Kirk has become an instant gay pinup, with Attitude eager to book him as a cover boy.

If Iris has any sense at all, she'll embrace her sin for its bleaching effect on her foolish prejudices and thank her God for the opportunity to join the rest of the human race at long last.

Kirk's young cock has even given Northern Ireland a sudden Gok Wan-style image makeover. After decades of terraced housing drear, it at last sounds interesting, enticing, beguiling. Sexy even. The moral corsets have been snipped at, the eternal Mondayish image yielding to a snap of Friday Nights. Iris and her 19-year-old cock are just the tip of the iceberg. One hopes. His cock has also done what the churches failed to do - united Catholics and Protestants in stunned surprise if not horror. So that's Cock 1 God 0.

Meantime, do visit Kirk's now notorious cafe - which Iris helped finance. The Lock Keeper's Inn is doing a roaring trade as natives flock to catch sight of the young cock fully dressed. As the Belfast Telegraph reports, "While the lure of hot drinks when temperatures were as low as -4C made a seat in the small cafe an attractive proposition, many of those who thronged it were lured by something more than cappuccinos and muffins." Such as one Janice Richards (33), a full-time mother from south Belfast, who said to the paper: “It is just such a surprise, to think with someone so young.”

What the darling means: "It is just such a surprise, to think with a 19-year-old cock." Here, I'll save you time.

The story of Iris and Kirk ....

22 comments:

Duralex said...

Is it an abomination to be a gerontophile? That's the question. Could we see a picture of Mrs Robinson, please ?

Madame Arcati said...

Only if the object of the gerontophile's lust is married, I guess.

Duralex said...

Well, well, well, the lady is quite attractive actually:

http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/iris-robinson-thrown-out-of-dup-after-kirk-mccambley-revelations-14629489.html

I'm amazed at the fuss they are making about that rather common story. Tabernak ! How about Peter Robinson's – or any other married politician's – young mistresses? I doubt any male politician would have to resign in such case, would they?

Oh, but this is just Ireland, I guess.

Mrs Ian Paisley said...

N Ireland near-Victorian so this is a major to-do. Ta-ra!

Anonymous said...

I agree Paul Golding's The Abomination is masterly. I can't understand why he is not a more celebrated writer.I understand he lives on an island in the Med now. Lucky swine. Brrrr

Anonymous said...

he's young enough 2 b her grandchild . fucking paedophile . BTW what is biblical punishment 4 adultery . also

Madame Arcati said...

Deuteronomy 22:22 "If a man is found sleeping with another man's wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die."

Anonymous said...

because of her position and pressure , she has coerced a boy into committing a crime that will cause his own death according 2 the book she uses in her neediness 2 degrade others . if her attitude about gays is based on their unavailability 2 want sex w her , she may well feel the same way about 99.9999% etc of all humans on the planet ie ; what's the use of them ? slave labor ?

Anonymous said...

Gerontophilia is the new black

Anonymous said...

I would encourage the man-child involved 2 commit as much gerontophilia as he possibly can , but not w a biblical twat who knows she is sending the boy 2 his death in Hell FOREVER just by having sex w her . its simply too cold-blooded ........ black widowish . ugh

Duralex said...

<< he's young enough 2 b her grandchild . fucking paedophile >>

Uh ?! That guy was over 18 when she met him, so he was not a child. Some people really have things all mixed up in their head.

the late O.Wilde said...

She should really suffer the feat I did but I've forgiven everyone. Is the lad well-hung is the question and we deserve an answer.

dragondays said...

Did you see the interview with Peter Robinson when the news broke? Pretentious bastard ... 'I have forgiven her' ... takes two to tango, baby. Perhaps he should take some of the 'blame'?

Duralex said...

And now they are trying to make us believe she's mentally ill! :-)))

http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/where-is-iris-robinson-14629020.html

Victor Olliver said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Duralex said...

<< I assume she fell out with her cock and this is its revenge. >>

I'm afraid I don't get the joke, if there is one.

Where did you find that distastefully photshopped picture of the poor Mrs Robinson ? I hope you didn't do it yourself, that would be a real shame.

Talking of (not so) hidden cocks... Hey, Victor(ia), congratulations for completing your coming out, chéri(e)!

Madame Arcati said...

The more attentive were not surprised. One must move on.

Green Goddess said...

Dontcha think there's a lot of potkettleblack fingering going on here? Who's t judge what pleasures the Madame, clearly St Peter's wasn't doing it...

Anonymous said...

I just love your style!

Anonymous said...

Too many frivolous remarks here. The real question: Did he do her up the arse?

Duralex said...

<< The real question: Did he do her up the arse? >>

T, t, t. Christians only resort to that extremity when there's a risk that the lady gets pregnant, and in the present case, well... ;->

Catholic Cum Up Proddy Cunt said...

had gr8 fun browsing YouTube - many sent ups of Mrs Robinson using Simon & Garfunkel as soundtrack

P.S have polished off the Laphroaig - got used to the bonfire aroma and is now up there in my top 5 single malts. Defo an aquired taste. Sooter sends her love