Thursday, December 09, 2010

Justin Bieber's penis: A post-modernist approach to blogging

Justin Bieber and his missing sock
One way to promote your website right now is to post a Justin Bieber item, albeit a spurious one - perhaps the sad, neglected, undiscussed, unread, utterly redundant and hypocritical New Statesman might take note. Justin is among the most searched global topics on the internet, apparently.

Into my second paragraph and I've already lost about 95% of the beliebers: bye. But let's plough on. Much of the obsession with the heterosexually advertised Christian teen sensation, with the bossy mum, is focused  on his cock: Nanny Google has about 1.36m links to Bieber cock stories. So if I link this story to my Daniel Radcliffe PhotoShopped cock pics I'll have created a perfect storm of interest to take Madame Arcati well into the Winterval season.

Predictably, there is much concern about the guessed dimensions of Justin's cock. One school of thought holds that it is very small indeed. Another, that he is Colin Farrell's doppelgänger: let's ask Angelina Jolie next time she's around.  In other quarters, it is claimed Lady Gaga has stolen his penis while .... well see for yourself. It's all out there.

Now, I don't know about you, but I have to get on. But as a parting shot, I publish below the top search keywords to Madame Arcati today, pre-Justin Bieber's penis: A post-modernist approach to blogging - a zeitgeist snapshot:

daniel radcliffe penis
daniel radcliffe dick
sheila vogel-coupe
daniel craig penis
daniel radcliffe circumcised
daniel radcliffe cock
madame arcati
almine barton
carole malone


Joe MacFarlane. said...

Didn't know Harry Potter had been docked. As for Daniel Craig my pal (who claims to be straight) is always on about him. I heard today of a chap who picked fights on the internet and a a result his Google rank went stratospheric. You cunt.

Madame Arcati said...

Madame Arcati knows how to pick a fight but is feeling clement. Oh, I must look out for the students.

Anonymous said...

"A chap" got his, where it hurt and while he wasn't looking. Plod can be so utterly useful when one wears not-waterproof mascara and rubs in a bit of onion.

Madame Cold Feet said...

Bung in some links and go bold on a few key words and you have an SEO masterpiece there Mr O.