In 2009 Madame Arcati ran a short item titled 'Why do men of a certain age whistle tunes in public?' After all this time, a 25 year-old man has volunteered the horrible news that he, too, likes to whistle in public. I can't tell you how distressing this is to me. I had hoped that this revolting anti-social act was confined to old scrotes near their graves. But no! Apparently a new generation of whistlers is bursting forth, filling our streets/shops/air space with unsolicited tunes; or more accurately, with sad attempts to Find That Tune. That birds in the sky do not swoop down and try to mate with these noise polluters is a modern wonder.
This is the offending letter ...
I love to whistle and I am 25 so does this mean it is ok?
I don't whistle in public often but if a nice tune comes into my head I may start quietly whistling it to myself.
I think only the happy whistle and people who do whistle don't intend to invade others space.
From what I have read here it would seem you can't even smile in public without someone being uncomfortable about it or at least having a good reason to smile.
We don't ALL walk around with a chip on our shoulder
Tom
Dear Tom
Ugh! When I hear some old goat whistling I am tempted to happy slap him. Whistling is a hostile act and intended to annexe adjacent territory and cause misery to the space occupiers. I call on decent taxpayers to happy slap male whistlers. If the tune whistled is the product of musical theatre, repeat the happy slapping.
MA
11 comments:
I was quietly whistling just now preparing breakfast, feeling the joys of spring, and feeling the joys of something else, and now I have come across this item of yours. I do find myself whistling when I'm in a good mood, though not usually in public. Historically I associate whistling with warm-hearted well-adjusted bisexual men. Fundamentalists don't whistle for example - probably they ban it along with everything else. Schizophrenics don't whistle. Nice men whistle. So don't knock it.
Duncan Fallowell
You were whistling in private which is acceptable because only you and your budgie need suffer.
A tsunami engulfs the Pacific and you're worrying about a whistling breeze. Die!
Oh, I sometimes have a bit of a whistle in the street too. Much nicer than those people who have rows on the telephone as they walk along glaring at the air.
Duncan
I had a terrible row on my mobile in D'Arblay St - all the ancient film crits looked alarmed.
It's funny how film crits never die. Or retire.
Alexander Walker died . . . please don't tell me he didn't . . .
My information is he's still sitting through an Apocalypse Now Redux screening and doesn't realise it's over. Funny how we never got to hear about the boys.
Whistling is a disgusting nervous habit like jangling loose change around in trouser pockets - a displacement activity or as TS Eliot would say "Twit twit jub jub".
That's more like it, Boudicca. You sound like my kind of woman. I also disapprove of ghastly scrotal bulges when elderly men bend over. Disgusting!
Mmm, a male psycho misandrist. An interesting and rare case.
I'm suing.
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