Friday, March 18, 2011

World Penis Size Map: A guide for international size queens

And so from the dickhead Prof Brian Cox and his nuclear energy-loving touchy wife Gia, the mind thought associates onwards and towards... the World Penis Size Map. I am indebted to Duncan Fallowell for incidentally drawing my attention to this. I have no idea how reliable it is - the measurements do not identify condition of cock, a glaring omission - but you may as well know the French, Germans (5.7") and Italians are better endowed than the Brits (5.5"). Americans average a measly 5.1" (that explains Bruce Willis, then) while Venezuela soars to 6.7". Cambodia manages 4".

Madame Arcati disapproves of size queenery of this sort. But newspaper agony aunts may find this info useful when answering anxious cock-size letters they themselves have written.

World Penis Size Map

20 comments:

Joe MacFarlane said...

Those Venezuelans are FUCKING LIARS!

Anonymous said...

So where's Fallowell from?

Madame Arcati said...

You need to get in more, dearie.

The late Princess Margaret said...

The map is ridiculous and takes no account of ethnic groups within each nation. Irish Americans will have tiny todgers while African Americans may need to wear a jock strap.

Anonymous said...

Sir Richard Burton did wonderful research on this but Lady Burton burned the results after his death

Anonymous said...

the word 'flaccid' always turns up on these occasions. is it ever used on other occasions?

Do The Funky Chicken said...

Everybody loves a biggie but no one wants to be lumbered with superhuge. I've changed my plane ticket

Tamara Press said...

whoarrrr

Anonymous said...

As a connoisseur of cock I would say the Yogoslavians are the most impressive - essentially a peasant or labouring race who drowned the small cocked at birth for the greater good.

Anonymous said...

'Limp' is the word used in real life for flaccid.

Anonymous said...

so you can't be a flaccid head then

Anonymous said...

Omission of Madame herself? By far the biggest cock. Nice!

Madame Arcati said...

A lady never boasts...

Ex said...

I remember yours as particularly thick

Anonymous said...

What precisely is your relationship to Duncan Fallowell. We need to know

Madame Arcati said...

He was my stepmother in a previous incarnation. We have ishoos.

Anonymous said...

'Madame disapproves of size queenery'

Fibber!

greene said...

is that when its hard ? possibly an awkward census

Green Goddess said...

Sam Leith has unfollowed me on Twitter. Was it something we said about the size of his? I hear it has reduced in girth since he went freelance.

Madame Arcati said...

How odd. But then I deleted loads of followers on Twitter the other night, but didn't realise many are following me. Much bitterness.