Dermot O'Leary: Stop the gay insinuations to Louis ...

... Walsh on The X Factor. Who do you think you're trying to bond with in a TV studio? Fucking Mr Regular.

As I wrote perceptively in 2006 (NB the Russell Brand reference): "O'Leary - he's perfectly functional, an auto-bloke who never does anything wrong, a TV-created idea of customised masculinity for a mass chippy audience. Not really witty, just fast. Attention span of a bluebottle. Stings like a hover fly. There's a factory somewhere churning out these "classless" content providers - he is the male Noughties but not very nice. Russell Brand is certainly a very different sort, will rise higher but burn brighter on descent."

(Pic: Dermot fortunately flaccid)

Dermot O'Leary: zeitgeist says...

Someone asked me today what I think of Dermot O'Leary, the host of Big Brother's Little Brother and I had to admit that I've given him no thought at all. However it is a feature of my work that I can tune into a zeitgeist perception at the drop of a hat so that in an instant I found myself saying:

"O'Leary - he's perfectly functional, an auto-bloke who never does anything wrong, a TV-created idea of customised masculinity for a mass chippy audience. Not really witty, just fast. Attention span of a bluebottle. Stings like a hover fly. There's a factory somewhere churning out these "classless" content providers - he is the male noughties but not very nice. Russell Brand is certainly a very different sort, will rise higher but burn brighter on descent."