Thursday, February 09, 2012

Duncan Fallowell: Madame Arcati's blithe disregard for Miss Marple

Miss Marple or Madame Arcati?
Dear Madame Arcati

I have just watched the film Blithe Spirit, directed by David Lean, in which you star. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that the film is in Technicolor and that in it you wear a blood-red dress! I've seen the film before, but so long ago that I'd forgotten it was in colour. In fact I remembered it as being in black & white largely, I expect, because the profile photograph of you on your entertaining blog, which I've had reason to view quite often, is also in black & white. But it's incorrect! That photo of you is not of Madame Arcati but of Miss Marple.  How could you play such a trick? Since you have decided to return from the dead, I think it only fitting that you celebrate the occasion by altering your profile picture from the misleading Miss Marple to your true coloured self in that enchanting 1945 film of Noel Coward's Blithe Spirit.

In grateful anticipation,

From your well-wisher, Duncan Fallowell

Dearest Duncan

How very lynx-eyed of you! Yes, it's true, I confess everything. The profile pic is indeed of Margaret Rutherford as Miss Marple. I much prefer the image, to be honest. It conveys my fearsome gravitas. There are however many black 'n' white film stills of Miss Rutherford as the dotty clairvoyante and only the odd colour one - as you can see below. Perhaps readers would like to select the still for my new profile.

Thank you for noticing.

Best wishes, MA x





22 comments:

Elly said...

I thought it was Miss Marple too but I have not seen Blythe Spirit so I couldn't be sure.

I have written some Miss Marple homoerotic slashfic but it is kept under lock and key.

Madame Arcati said...

How wonderful. I think you should write some Madame Arcati slashfic - think of the fun you could have at the seances.

The Duchess said...

The still with your eyes shut is appropriate. I think it sums up this blog.

Jonathan King said...

I choose the marvellous middle colour picture as it illustrates Maggie's magnificent chin to its best advantage. Is there any truth that your strange behaviour regarding the inaccurate image so intelligently spotted by Fallowell might lead to a starring role in the current Leveson Inquiry? Giving false hope to deprived Rutherfans is a very serious matter.

Madame Arcati said...

Can you imagine me at Leveson, having to explain all those fake celeb cocks? It would lower the tone after such consummate performances by the likes of Richard Desmond. Kelvin MacKenzie and that Times editor who talks like a truck driver in a bondage bar.

Mr King, I shall be emailing you shortly about your own Leveson appearance...

Anonymous said...

It's a sad day when you can't even trust Madame Arcati to get it right.

Anonymous said...

Stick to what you know best luv and ignore clever dicks like Duncan Fallowell.

The late Mystic Meg said...

I much prefer the top one where you're gazing into a crystal ball. It's how I imagine you hunched over your work trying to unravel the future - earnest and probing!

Anonymous said...

Could you publish elly's fiction. This blog's been getting a bit tame of late.

Chris Rea said...

The lady in red

Anonymous said...

Oh the middle one - favoloso - no contest

Fake Daniels said...

Not much barbaric jewellery in any of the pics, is there?

Madame Arcati said...

Madame was not born in Essex.

Anonymous said...

Don't you mean 'blithe regard'?

Madame Arcati said...

Works both ways, depending on nuance.

Anonymous said...

The first one obviously, where she's about to put something yummy and nutritious into her...mouth.
Regarding Leveson: I want to wreak cold revenge on a certain axe-weilding Guardian culumnist and Harry Potter Rusbridger, but I want my anonymity guaranteed so one doesn't get stitched up by the leopard print shod Theresa Miaow and he friends at MI5 and the Sunday Times. Hijab? Niqab or silver screen. And besides, what's a gal to wear?

Madame Arcati said...

Ah, that unmistakable prose style. I can't imagine who this could be...

Anonymous said...

I hope copyrights are not being infringed, you thieving blogging cunty

Anonymous said...

*tsk*
Going undercover...
X
PS do you preplan your captchas? Mine is "bitch"

Mobile Mary said...

In the last picture you look like one of those 12 year olds with that ageing disease.

Anonymous said...

That's Grayson Perry in the bottom one - you don't want that

G.Perry Esq said...

Yeah, that's me - scrying a pot