In the wake of a riot of rumours about the restaurant critic, insurance TV salesman and former film director Michael Winner - that he plans to emigrate - I have interrupted my ylang-ylang spa bath to help him set the record straight. He has this morning tweeted the following message to his followers (caps his) which I am happy to amplify:
'I'M NOT LEAVING THE UK NEVER HAD ANY PLANS TO DO SO. WOULD APPRECIATE IF THE "JOKERS" WHO KEEP SAYING I AM WOULD KEEP THEIR GOBS FIRMLY SHUT'
Back to my spa bath, faintly depressed.