Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Amanda Eliasch: Fame, movie acclaim and cakes of sperm

Amanda Eliasch
I like my weirdos glam and clever. Weirdo? A person who manifests her or his organic interior in a fascinating, creative, non-homicidal way. This blog is peopled with natural weirdos - and now that I am back for a while, I've just noticed another one to add to the galère. 

Her name is Amanda Eliasch.

She's been under my nose for quite a while. Ages back she said I was her favourite blog (well, you won't confuse this site with anything by Toby Young) and I peeped at her biog and saw she is a photographer, and peripatetic fashion editor of Genlux Magazine in LA. She seems highly proactive. Always white-teeth smiling. And blonde. (Sort of sleb-ish herself - I mean, your average magazine person is pure subfusc with sniffs.) And about 25. Now I read she's 53 (Taurus - luxury lovers). For me, this is perfection. I cannot abide authentic youth. I will not have them in the house - except my new friend Lyndsy Spence (see interview here). There is nothing more vile than a human being in evolutionary transit who's dreaming over your shoulder. Why should I be bothered with this sort of fate-harlot?

But 53 is arrival time. 53 is about right.

Then recently I noticed Nicky Haslam ('Oh God, not him again!') pushing his latest heterosexuality-celebrating album of song, Midnight Matinee. And one of the tracks is called Amanda written by Amanda Eliasch. She assures me on Facebook that it is her voice. She sounds like a heavenly choirboy approaching the cusp of his first wet dream. Here listen (it's track 16 for a sample).

Recently, I noticed something about a movie. It's called The Gun, The Cake and the Butterfly. She wrote it, directed it and stars in it. This is auteurism at its most extreme. Don't call her Orson! She's won an award for it. I've not seen it. But apparently it's about her awfully glitzy, stars-strewn life. I am assured she has never had sex with Boris Johnson. But I believe she may have gone all the way with Sir Tim Rice. Lord Lloyd Webber will be well jel. At some point in her life she baked a cake containing the sperm of two fuckees. Well, that's what it says here.

Oh, here's the film trailer. I have a feeling I may say more about amazing Amanda.


11 comments:

C Rehill said...

"You're a very weird person Yossarian" "Thank you, Sir" (Catch 22).

Anonymous said...

Mmm, another fame whore

editrix said...

How do you pronounce her surname? She should be on TV doing something.

Mr Kipling said...

Why do you cast aspersions on Lord Lloyd Webber? I am certain he would not partake of such sordid gateau.

Anonymous said...

Holly Woodlawn at Country Cousins!

Anonymous said...

I so agree with you Madame on youth. Older the better!

Anna Wintour said...

"There is nothing more vile than a human being in evolutionary transit who's dreaming over your shoulder. Why should I be bothered with this sort of fate-harlot?"

Sublime.

G Glitter said...

It's pronounced Elly-ash.

Anonymous said...

The New Weird is a literary genre that began in the 1990s and developed in a series of novels and stories published from 2001 to 2005. The writers involved are mostly novelists who are considered to be parts of the horror and/or speculative fiction genres but who often cross genre boundaries. Notable authors include China Miéville, Jeff VanderMeer, K. J. Bishop and Steph Swainston. [1]

Anonymous said...

Attention whores, fame whores, a kind of importunate desperation to be noticed at all costs for some sad reason.....

Cunt said...

It's only a trailer - so I can't judge the flick - but am I alone in not getting what Amanda's movie is about, or its purpose? A woman goes to fashion shows and bakes a spunk cake. She has a life to tell which involves travel tickets. Am I missing the point her?

And what kind of title is Genlux for fuck's sake?