Thursday, January 18, 2018

Spacey: 'Help Randy fight sex abuse!'

Kevin Spacey's former sister-in-law, Stephanie, has responded again to various comments - here she eloquently describes the trauma associated with sexual abuse, pertinent to Kevin's brother Randy Fowler who was raped repeatedly by his father. Both Randy and Stephanie feel that Kevin should join his name with theirs in raising awareness of sexual abuse of all forms in order to help disinhibit victims from reporting the crime to the police and authorities.

First a response to Fanny profess that I shoudn't air my dirty laundry, yet the name Fanny Hill is synonymous with her memoirs of "pleasure"...she "aired out" more than her dirty laundry. No, this isn't a "pleasurable" subject, but someone needs to speak out. It's not going to go away...especially on the internet.

Paedophilia, rape, abuse of any kind is not an enjoyable topic to discuss but it has only been of late that women and men are getting on the bandwagon and telling their story.

Do you have any idea what a woman has to go through just to report a rape (or man, whether gay or heterosexual?}. Victims hide the truth because of fear that they might have instigated or enticed the act.. while their life is being scutinized and torn apart...they are told they shouldn't speak out because of anything in their past..what? How does that relate to the act itself?

But the laws don't protect the victims! Is it to break them down and get more white collar crimes on the court docket? SO MANY VICTIMS OF ABUSE are encouraged by the law to "let it go". Oh, you let your neighbor in didn't you? Yes, but, how could they know his intention was rape while their daughter lay sleeping in the next room? Would you scream and have your child witness possibly be involved also? But "you let him in", so it's your fault.

These stories go on everyday and destroy families. The laws should be changed. There are men out there that are abused by women and embarrassed to come forward ..YES, it is horrible and we shove it under the carpet. Sweep it all away..and you wonder why there are so many drug companies making a fortune on anti-depressants.

If I had been raped by my father [as was my ex-husband Randy Fowler], I would have been scared to death to tell anyone, because he was a well-known community man. I have seen it happen so many times. So, no, I am not going to stop. I will stop when I see some money being raised for the victims who can't afford to go to court and nail these SOB's. It all trickles down if it is not stopped or talked about..that is why we need more public awareness of this pervasive problem. Victims should not be put through more abuse because they were brave enough to come forward.

This is Randy's purpose, and since we did open up "pandora's box" than let's see how we can fill it wish is an outpouring of celebrities to raise awareness and funds for programs. That is why I came "out"...

Kevin has washed his hands of this forum. I can see a world-wide awareness campaign and Kevin you CAN help your brother get the word out without revealing your personal life, if that is what you are worried about..ignorance is not bliss...Randy has not been quixotic...he IS addressing his past for practical reasons ... and maybe Kevin might not like Randy, but does he like the knowledge that Randy hid his malteatment and many suffered because of it?

By not addressing his brother for years he has been holding the key that could unlock the fear of others to speak out.


Anonymous said...

Has his sister not spoken out about this? Or are they both 'unusual' ?

Anonymous said...

Honestly, who cares about the sister?

Cathy said...

Kevin helped me.

Anonymous said...

I only mentioned his sister as she has stayed quiet/private on the whole subject too.

Arcati said...

Well, tell us more Cathy...

Arcati said...

The sister - up in Scotland - is close to Spacey: to my knowledge, the only time she has said anything publicly about her family was back in 2005 when the Mail on Sunday spoke to her in the wake of their interview with Randy. I would speculate that Spacey was none too pleased with his sister.

Anonymous said...

Up in Scotland? I believe she and her Scottish husband live in California.

Anonymous said...

What did she say? Which brother is she willing to stand by?

stephanie "steph" said...

The forgotten ones..

This is a quote taken from an international entertainment publication in Ireland..from June of 2006 by Kevin.I have also observed other publications world wide that are getting on the band wagon of awareness the last few
'I gave up after Oscar'
16/06/2006 - 08:18:54

Kevin Spacey's career peaked when he won the Best Actor Oscar for American Beauty in 2000, and he has dedicated himself to helping others ever since.

The actor decided to quit striving for greater success and has thrown himself into projects like his artistic directorship of London's Old Vic theatre.

He says: "As far as I'm concerned, when I looked at what happened in my career in 2000 - after American Beauty - I thought it couldn't get much better. What was I going to spend the rest of my life doing? Trying to top myself? Trying to stay hot, trying to make sure I was in the right movies?

"I'm trying to do something with my success which is bigger than myself. I'm no longer interested in my personal career. I am interested in the impact I can have on a lot of other people's careers and on audiences."

Verbatim statement extracted from Breaking

A press release to think about...
I don't think that the gist of the subject is being addressed by the bloggers on this site.
I have touched a nerve on here and I thank Madame Arcati for allowing me to rrepresent the "forgotten ones". She has been not only supportive but has allowed many interesting comments to be posted and I thank her for that.
She is absolutely correct when she speaks of the media. They would rather hear about Brittany shaving her head...why couldn't that hair be put up for auction to all the tremendous amount of groups that help battered and abused victims?
Think about all the foster children being brutalized and statistics show that they are afraid to speak out in fear of going to an even worse environment. Monies could go to support the advocates that these foster children can go to and not be afraid of getting lost in the system! there are not enough social workers and most of them have so many cases that they get passed over or fooled. I can cite SO MANY instances that social services has not followed up on complaints of abuse....and children have been killed, brutalized...I live in an area where this happens every day..If Kevin came forward to raise money, we could fund some of the advocate programs and pay people to help the victims..
.......A woman lived in a small town. She went to a club with a "best" friend. She knew the owners and went there frequently to dance and let off steam once and awhile.. Suddenly she's found out that her friend, her ride, has disappeared with her boyfriend and has left her stranded. Not knowing what to do she goes to the proprietors (who she knows and trusts) and tells them she can't find a way to go home. They could not take her home, so she asked about a taxi, since she was new to town, well, in Upstate NY, in the outskirts of the city, there was no public transportation and certainly not a cab could to be found..and the club was closing..what to do? She asked if the man that had been conversing to her, was trustworthy and they told her that he came in often, was a prison guard and not to, she reluctantly accepted his ride ...he said he needed to make a stop home and check on his Mom before her took her home. What could she do? she was in the middle of nowhere and she waited in the car on a cold winter night with no heat on while he took his keys and let himself into the house....10 min. went by, than 20, than 30 minutes. fearing there might be something wrong, she shivered and walked to the door clutching her coat to her body..she knocked on the door..the door opened up and it was pitch dark, an arm went around her throat and she found herself with a hunting knife 12 inches long pressed against her neck..."don't scream you bitch, you all think you are so tough he whispered"..the rest is unimaginable but she survived...he drove her home as if nothing happened..she was numb.. she went in to make sure her children were ok and safe in bed...her neighbor walked home to her apt. next door in the duplex..the single Mom on welfare, a full time student, sat in the dark and just stared tears streaming down her face..her body sore, but her bruises were not visible..they lay deep inside.her..she put it out of her couldn't have happened to her..She couldn't tell anyone because she took that ride home she thought..but the next day she had a break down at school and the counselor that she was sent to, told her that her chances were slim that she could go after this guy. why? lack of money, she took the ride, she was at a club..while her children were sleeping but not alone, her life and children would be questioned.she had no money for counsel. She lived with this for years and her self confidence went continually downhill...Here she was without a voice, there was no one to tell that would be willing to help a welfare mother go after a officer of the law. And without child support she could barely make ends meet. once again the system had failed..he not only got away with this vicious act but she was unable to go out and have fun for fear of another incident happening ..every thing was black to her, but she went on with her life..this is a story that has no end...why? because she never could get over that pain. She couldn't go to court, because she didn't have the money!!
Kevin, and all your high profile friends....I am asking for a very worthy cause to be can be done in so many ways..charities set up to pay for agencies to take calls from foster children,without fear of repercussion; abused and afraid PEOPLE... of all factions ...the problem, when you are in a situation as that is the money factor.. in Randy's case he was afraid to go to anyone for help in fear that Kevin would be the next target. many people don't speak up because they are threatened or their families are threatened if they tell...why can't we put more money into this cause. I can think of no better way to stop the frustration that comes with that stigma. the stigma of being poor, struggling, a child...High profile people can make a difference. I applaud Bono for his energy and adamant command to use his name to rescue many victims...he is a crusader. Randy is a crusader and brave to speak out. He has had so much bad publicity attached to his name because he's Kevin's brother. But that is why he revealed who he was. So that he might be able to propagate a movement to stop the silence. I believe that if Kevin had been abused ,than he has hidden it in his life, and doesn't want to go out of his bubble and be aligned to such horrors that were going on in his home while he took his inner feelings onto the stage..I put it into the art I produce.not but where do the other victims go if they aren't in a position to create or mask the pain.
We all have favorites in our families, and they are protected. Randy was not protected. And there are thousands of families that have children that are hiding the truth in fear of society's preconceived notions...if you are different, than you have even more of a fight. I am not even going to address his sister's involvement..(uninvolvement)though i could..this is not the place.
Some children are taught to hide their feelings and push them down deep. Denial, denial...and who gets hurt? If there were establishments that funded grants so that programs could be set up to help the victims it would be a huge start and Kevin has the ability to help initiate a world wide telling our stories, we demystify the fear..the pain..and hopefully begin to listen and put the act on trial, not the victim...

Joey said...

Steph said:
"I am not even going to address his sister's involvement..(uninvolvement)though i could..this is not the place."

Oh, but this IS the place to trash his brother. How hypocritical.

Anonymous said...

Thats because his sister is not famous.
The causes you speak of are very worthy and should be addressed but not by demanding involvement from someone who clearly wishes his life to be private. Why are his wishes not respected?

Anonymous said...

There are many reasons why someone might not want to relive issues from their childhood in public and you have to respect that. Just because someone is famous and a high achiever in one sphere doesn’t mean they have the emotional capacity to deal with the things you raise.

Personally, I don't like the way you are doing this, it's harassing and counter productive.

If you think you can make a difference to other people by forming a charity (or non-profit) as you call them in the US then go ahead and do it on your own. What are you waiting for?

Anonymous said...

Well said.This is an emotive topic and one I feel does not need any 'celebrity' endorsing for it to become viable.

Anonymous said...

Why waste time arguing ? It's obvious now that this crusade against child abuse is only a respectable pretext. That person gives herself away by deliberately getting together with Arcati, a notorious libel monger. That's enough to make her lose all credibility.

"steph" said...

...Dear Mr.or Ms. Ammomymity,
I am not here to make friends or enemies. Go back and read my entries. Randy was not privy to my comments before or knew of my involvement until he read them himself on this site. I purposely did not contact ANYONE nor needed to at any time. The subject matter speaks for itself. the controversy was not my doing. My platform and intent was only to show a woman's viewpoint and support Randy's unselfish cause to raise awareness on sexual abuse.
P.S. As far as forming a "charity back in the U.S.". You must be delusional ,if you think that some little boy or girl isn't getting buggered by some sick parent in the UK tonight..... you better take off your round rose colored glasses.!...AMEN.

Anonymous said...

There are plenty of charities in the UK working in the field of child abuse, the NSPCC is one, Barnardos, ChildLine and Kidscape are others. They may not be perfect but they do their best and I'm not sure what another charity run by a well meaning amateur like you would have to add to this work. What training and expertise do you have in this field?

If you feel so strongly about this issue then why haven't you started your own organisation to deal with this problem already?

From where I stand it looks as though you are hell-bent on persecuting your ex-brother-in-law for all the slights he has ever given your ex-husband.

It's time to move on, stop trying to live your life through other people and if you want to start an anti-sex abuse organisation then get on and do it without using the name of someone who clearly wants nothing to do with you or your ex.

As I said earlier, your numerous posts on here have turned into harassment.

Anonymous said...

Okay Steph, this is fine. But if you're so fond of you ex-husband and so supportive of him, why didn't you stay with him ? And why don't you rather join him on his own site, instead of drowning us poor wretches in your flood of words on this inappropriate blog ? It would be much more decent : unlike Madame Arcati, Randy doesn't insult his brother, at least (though I think he did an enormous mistake granting Arcati an interview).
In other words, what are you doing here exactly? I still don't understand. And by the way, what's the name of the association against child abuse on behalf of which you're speaking (if any)? I'd like to send money to it. I'm asking that because so far I only could see a Spacey-bashing association, and I don't really feel like putting a single penny in it. :-)

Anonymous said...

"I think he did an enormous mistake"

OOOPS, I meant I think he MADE that mistake – and I still think it. :-)

Anonymous said...

Steph said : 'I thank Madame Arcati for allowing me to rrepresent the "forgotten ones".'

Hey, Steph, wake up! There IS already a world-wide movement against sex abuse. Do you think the world is waiting for you, for Randy, for Arcati and the miserable fifty-something people who read her blog? Let's be serious!
They don't either need Kevin Spacey more than any other famous in the world of arts, sciences, sports or politics.
And it's not that I want to be mean, but they don't even need you. As a spokeperson, you'd undoubtedly ruin their reputation, from what we can see here :-).

Arcati said...

Thank you Stephanie, I shall continue to do what any blogger can and put up comments of all hue - not even the Guardian's Comment Is Free lie can promise that.

In an Independent interview over the weekend, Spacey actually talked about his mother and father at greater length than usual - and not once did he raise the matter of sexual abuse. It's his call, but what a lost opportunity to mend bridges with his family and show his support.

What a waste of fame in the furtherance of same.

steph said...

.....thank you for allowing free speech....

steph said...

.....thank you for allowing free speech....

duralex said...

<< It's his call, but what a lost opportunity to mend bridges with his family and show his support. >>

Is gathering families a divine mission to you ? Are you starting a go-between career ? What does this senile sentimentalism over Spacey's family mean exactly ?
I can bear everything, except those "loving" people who claim they know better than yourself what's best for you !
If I were in Spacey's place (may the devil bite off my balls if I do), I'd stare at you coldly and utter :"Mind your own f*cking business !" – in good french : "Occupe-toi de tes putains d'oignons !"
Curtain drops. Shall we spend the night together, now, Arcati ? ? :-)))

Arcati said...

Well, Duralex, Spacey is at liberty to say so in whichever language he chooses.

Morticia Addams 7 said...

Stephanie, you're very wise.

There's something ugly about cutting off one's siblings. Randy sounds productive and intelligent in his own way. He will heal and transcend the hurt without acknowledgment or help from his brother. Yet, should Kevin get to know and love his brother again he will be the richer for it. That's what grace is all about.

With our unique gifts we all can help each other recover. Then comes the uneasy laughter, and eventually genuine happiness.