The appointment of the filthy-mouthed baldy, Roger Alton, to the editorship of the Independent makes perfect sense given his successful record at the Observer - he got the circulation up by turning the paper into a war-mongering, Blair/Campbell-felching, lifestyle package with the weekly pensées of Jasper Gerard (now the Telegraph's restaurant critic) comprising the premium editorial content. Astonishingly, virtually everyone I know adores Alton so plainly I'm in the minority here. In this spirit then I offer Alton free advice:
- Leave the Telegraph's restaurant critic well alone: he's doing a fine job writing about Lesbian Bisque
- Re-introduce proper front pages as opposed to the one-theme, notice-me antics of Simon Kelner
- Re-design the entire paper pronto: it's current layouts have all the allure and angularity of patio door grilles
- Put pics of pussy cats everywhere - our mioawy friends are everywhere in TV adland
- Make book ed Boyd Tonkin (aka Dank) review a Katie Price novel
- Keep John Walsh - he has a big family and other intimates to support
- Er, stop screaming fuck you cunt, you motherfucker asshole, etc
6 comments:
He'll be good for it. Less of that Dolphins and plastic bags rubbish, I hope.
It's a shame Henry VIII (Kelner - fat and ginger) is still going to be around....
Leave Dank alone
It's all academic in any case. The Irish billionaire Denis O'Brien is well on his way to getting a majority stake in Independent News & Media and when that happens he will push to sell off the newspapers because he regards them as loss makers and pointless. And who would buy the Indy - unless money could be made from its web operations? Enjoy it Roger while it lasts.
What do you mean John Walsh's "intimates"?
I thought you'd gone mellow for a while but I see you're the same old vindictive, frothing loon of old, pursuing your ridiculous vendettas, usually against the more decent editors. Your judgement is appalling.
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