Monday, February 15, 2010

Astrologers foresee a Tory victory - well, many of them do

Russell Grant: Tory win slim, Parliament well hung possibly

Diddums! The media Tory Boys are all depressed!

This loose amalgam of early middleaged, Oxbridge, cock-cunting, right-wing cat lovers - mainly subsidised by the Telegraph/Spectator club, with a blog thrown in to cover the winter gas bills - despairs at Gordon Brown's apparent resurgence in the polls and David Cameron's failure to impress. Why did anyone think that Old Etonian Cameron would ever mean much to scatterbrain Generation Google? His narrow aristocratic face alone looks bereft of 18th Century wig and gilded carved pine portrait frame - I hear a strain of Bach on harpsichord as I write - not a happy thought when there's news of National Health cuts to impart to porno'd-out plebs.

While the secular political pundits nonetheless expect Tory Boy to squeak into Number 10 in May, hobbled by a hung Parliament, what do the astrologers foresee? Your intrepid Madame - a trainee astrologer herself - had a perusal. To preserve your interest I have minimised the astro-jargon: just know there's a Saturn+Pluto (boo!)-Uranus+Jupiter (hooray!) tussle going on in the heavens.

Let's start with Russell Grant -"Will Labour retain power?" he asked himself at the Telegraph last year. "It is more likely to be a very narrow Conservative majority or a hung parliament."

"Quite definitively ... Labour will not win the next election," concludes the Brown-supporting Astrotabletalk. The site's astrologer Dharmaruci predicts in par 1 "it may be a hung Parliament." By par 11 however he's foreseeing "the Tories will probably win outright, rather than there being a hung Parliament." Ah, yes.

The august Marjorie Orr wrote of Gordon Brown in 2008: "He looks unlikely to emulate Tony Blair's three terms since his career and home life will go into major transformation gear in 2010. He's likely then or the following year to change career direction totally." So that's a Tory victory.

The Sun's Mystic Meg foresees a narrow Tory win - neatly echoing the current view of its owner Rupert Murdoch.

It's not all bad news for Gord. The unfortunately named The Daze thinks: "In 2010 Pluto starts to make a conjunction with Brown's natal MC, his progressed Moon is full in 2011 and in 2012 Neptune is conjunct his natal Sun. I wonder if these powerful astrological aspects do indeed suggest that Gordon Brown is with us in his high office for quite a few years to come." NB: for 2008, The Daze has Gordon misnamed George.

Astrology for the 21st Century foresees a likely Tory victory despite an astrologically low opinion of Cameron: "Leo-Libra mix is inclined to the self-satisfied, smug, and saccharine," it writes. "I don't see much good coming of him attaining power."

The Mail's Jonathan Cainer - rumoured to make over £1m pa from his phonelines - wrote of Brown in June last year, "Right now, his luck is on the wane, but while he won't bounce back to full popularity, his luck may just help him cling to office a bit longer, if he weathers these next few days." However, it was Cainer that predicted that Hillary Clinton would win the US election and that the global economic situation wouldn't be as bad as people expected.

New York's Caroline Simon (who predicted the economic crisis) of astrology website Blue Moon is doubtful of a Cameron premiership: "He can be too dependent on others’ approval and opinions to make his own decisions,” she adjudges. What else might Dave do in the event of a thrashing at the polls? "[He] could become adept at sculpture, pottery, carpentry or stained glass."

Even so, the majority view among astrologers is that Cameron will be the next PM by a slim margin. But the heavens do not exult.


Anonymous said...

I think I'll emigrate

Anonymous said...

New Zealand here I come. And so might Sarah Brown if she is dropped by Naomi and co if she is no longer the none zero size Twit power behind the puppet throne.

Anonymous said...

Don't be a wet socialist. We need bracing before the place is picked clean by locusts.

Anonymous said...

has this become a braindead zone?

Madame Arcati said...

If you seriously imagine a bunch of Etonians is going to save us from the locusts, then prepare for ritual disappointment. The only good reason for getting rid of Labour is to change the political wallpaper. Otherwise we'll be getting more of the same (ie services cuts, quantitative easing and 20% VAT).

Anonymous said...

Sounds as if the stargazers have listened to the pundits rather than read their horoscopes.

Anonymous said...

I had a nice lunch with Russell once.I paid.

the late K.Marx said...

"Don't be a wet socialist. We need bracing before the place is picked clean by locusts."

She would be the only on left in Britain if she is.

angelneptunestar said...

A US astrologer had this to say about the coalition. None of it is good, and I toned down what I put on my blog, you can read his entire remarks if you click on his name on my blog. It's not good.... it's not good AT ALL!

There are lot of stresses between the charts of Clegg and Cameron. Clegg's Saturn inconjunct's Cameron's Sun for a start. I study Magi Astrology and Clegg's Chiron is opposed by Cameron's Uranus/Pluto. For it to last, they would have to be superhuman, and in my view, it is mostly little Cleggy's fault. His manipulation, greed and fearsome ambition does for them both.

Madame Arcati said...

Thank you. I shall have a read. Capricornian Clegg will certainly aply Saturn's restraint on Cameron.

angelneptunestar said...

Madam Arcati, you are as astute as you are stunning.

Cleggy's Capricorn Sun trines his Pluto. He is quite the manipulator, with a will of iron, oh yes! Strictly entre nous, I think he is Cameron's worst nightmare, but Dave might not quite realise it yet.

It's a pity more politicians don't believe in astrology. They would find it a very useful weapon.

Madame Arcati said...

I agree, though of course many politicians do secretly consult astrologers.

angelneptunestar said...

I am glad you said what you did about politicians consulting astrologers, because that is exactly what I have heard.

Hear is my astrological take on the Labour leadership election, would love to hear yours.

Madame Arcati said...

I'll get back to you on this. x