Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Dapper Dicks: The penis gets the Barbie treatment

The first thing I heard today was the president of Mattel telling me that Barbie was aspirational and about to embark on her 125th career. Then this afternoon I popped over to the site of the world's handsomest novelist, Gavin James Bower. His latest post is about Dapper Dicks, a company that designs clothes for the penis. Barbie and Dapper Dicks made for a nice synchronicity. Let's dress up our playthings.

Dapper Dicks have all sorts of looks for the phallus: the piratical, the dandiacal. The fireman. And others. I quite like the pinstripe suit. Jackets can accommodate a 7" girth. Hats are available. "Dapper wear must be removed prior to intercourse," we are warned. I suppose some people need to be told this.

I utterly applaud this sartorial initiative. For too long the penis has been a synonym for stupidity: we speak of dickheads and people talking cock. So-'n'-so is such a knob. Now's the chance to rebrand a much maligned tool and give it a good styling, like popping Vinnie Jones into a Brooks Brothers. In time we may see Anna Wintour in the front row at Dapper Dicks runway shows. Anything's possible.

2 comments:

Blithe Spirit said...

Your labels for this post: you’re so bad.

MA darling,
The creativity these hard (!) economic times have triggered... What will people come up (!) with next?
I don’t know what to think.
I’m not sure if this is a good thing: to encourage a girlfriend (ok, p-a-r-t-n-e-r) to play with it like she did with Barbie as a little girl;
Or a bad thing: because it may encourage the guy attached to the penis to play more with himself rather than sharing.
They’re fun though (for about the minute and a half it takes to dress it up and giggle about it).

Are you surprised they have warning labels? Some really need to be told these things...

Ron Broxted said...

Rons Brain to Rons willy "You can try on that jacket". No the reply came, I'd look a right prick.