Peter Simon flogged two types of Christmas porcelain candle holder on Bid TV tonight. One featured Siamese twin reindeers tragically connected at the colon in which two candles sat; the other had a mother, child and beardie crouched against a Christmas tree.
Peter didn't realise the tee light candles were battery operated till the glamorous female assistant popped them on half way through the sale - "Ooooh look, they're glowing, they're glowing!" screamed Peter who still does that Frankie Howerd thing of running his tongue around the inside of his mouth when he's being saucy. He probably would have tried to light the plastic candles had the assistant not assisted. "They could go for a pound," he lied. The candle holders went for about £8 for the pair.
Then there was a Raymond Briggs' The Snowman Christmas decoration to flog, a cardboard cut-out of a flying snowman carrying a boy, both wrapped in coils of rope lights. "It could go for a pound," Peter lied as the screen text showed a starting price of £49.99. "It would look lovely in yer bay window or over the fire place or in your reception area," Peter said. So, I switched off.