Thursday, July 23, 2009

Michael Jackson gets Uri Geller's rocks off on QVC

Blond highlighted Uri Geller celebrated nine years on QVC today with his exclusive range of rock crystal jewellery. "It took me great courage to design this," he said of one ring with wavy silvery lines in a milky stone. "It's about sparking your imagination." The ring reminded host Julia Roberts of sand ripples; Uri of eels, snakes, fish. I thought of old lash mark scars on a back.

His brain may still be AWOL, his body in a freezer and his spirit in afterlife befuddlement - but Uri's close friend Michael Jackson was never far away from the TV stall. "Look," said Uri, whipping out a folded back copy of OK! or Hello! "This is a picture when I gave Michael a QVC ring!" Yes, the photo appeared to suggest that Uri had ambushed Michael and shoved the relatively cheap tack onto the King of Pop's bleached digit.

Of the "snake" ring, Uri recalled: "I was with Michael and he introduced me to Elizabeth Taylor who played Cleopatra." Julia interjected, "She was so beautiful." "Yes," agreed Uri. "The Egyptians had an affinity with snakes."

In between flogging his rocks, Uri told how he had drawn an esoteric maze-looking hieroglyph for "Michael's last record Invincible - to think it's in millions of these little books.".

When a viewer got through on the phone Uri had one thing to say to her - "Don't miss my show on ITV on Sunday. It's called My Friend Michael Jackson." Julia moved quickly on. TV channels don't like to advertise rivals.

Uri said his gems are about "positivity", "the mysteries of the universe", "thinking the impossible", "being the best", "staying on top". Now we know why Michael was so up there.

Uri and Michael: don't miss the sell


Anonymous said...

Well, this new venture not so bad. At least customers walk away with a little trinket they can wear and not just a bent spoon, no?

veritas said...

Oh you are so mean to Uri. The thing is he knows he's a hustler and doesn't really pretend he isn't.

I still have one of Lady Mary Fairfax's forks he bent in front of me and I couldn't see any trickery.Mind you I was pissed as a rat at the time.

Madame Arcati said...

I've always thought Uri a genuine spoon bender. Only the irrational atheist could doubt it.