Thursday, May 19, 2011

Jonathan King: Me Me Me - the movie non-review!

Dahlings, dahlings. Please, I don't do reviews any more. Shuuuu up!

What I do is this. I celebrate the arrival, the delivery, of a creative project. The miracle of doing. Who gives a toss whether a movie or novel is any good? You want a review of Jonathan King's latest musical flick, Me Me Me? Then ask the likes of that nice Peter Bradshaw of the Guardian to give Lars von Trier a rest and apply his testing template to the work. And he will tell us the distance between his idea of celluloid perfection and film-in-hand. That's all a review is really. A measurement of failure for gobbly fat arse atheist consumers by someone who never made a movie in his life. Fin.

Which brings me back to Me Me Me. It's here! And you can watch it for free (link below) or buy the DVD (a marvellous piece of work, two discs; one with just the soundtrack, and a booklet with the song lyrics for a g 'n' t karaoke over your keyboard) or buy whatever on iTunes; you know the drill. It's the 'best movie of the year by a thousands miles,' declares Ben T Voxpops. Ben's such a sexy name doncha think? All the Bens I know are sexy. So, take it from a Ben. Me Me Me is worth it.

The brothers Stansall: Henry (left) and Rupert
I've watched Me Me Me of course and I can say this. It's far better than Baz Luhrmann's Australia, far superior to Starship Troopers' first and second sequels; and in a realm of total bliss set against Shekhar Kapur's frightful Elizabeth: The Golden Age. Like Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange or Jarman's Jubilee, there's not much to liken Me Me Me to (at time of release), though JK has cleverly digested the great lesson of The Only Way Is Essex that acting soooooo gets in the way.

Who needs the sad artifices of cinéma vérité when you can cast anyone shaggable to emit a noise on camera?

What I love about JK is that he's a relentless hater, and Me Me Me picks up where his glorious first film Vile Pervert: The Musical left off, blasting tabloid culture and his old nemesis Max Clifford once again. Indeed, the movie's newspaper editor, one Marshall Artes (Daniel Jefferson) of The Moon shit daily, adopts the measured, soft and creepy tread of Waxy Maxy as he lures a pretty female intern to out a Banksy-style street artist with a talent for graffiti of sweet lickle innocent babies.

I'm sure we'll hear a lot more from the two spunk avatars of the piece, Henry and Rupert Stansall (who play the street artist Johnny Bambino and his brother Jay Fratello); and I'm more than happy to commend the Aladdin song Rub It Hard sung by a cop who raps as biggYbiggy. Perhaps Take That could sing it at Eurovision 2012 after Gary Barlow's sunk The X Factor.

Is Me Me Me any good? Oh do fuck off you Which?-crazed swine.

To read more about Me Me Me and watch the movie for free, click here.


Roger Ebert said...

Vile Pervert was very funny. But Me Me Me is just dull. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

Love the bruvs. Yeah babeee.

Anonymous said...

From King's website: =

I bumped into my old mate Steve Wright after breakfast yesterday and we chatted at length.

I hadn't seen him since the interesting events of a decade ago and I got the distinct impression that he was amazed by how utterly unphased I was by those trivial dramas.

I remember at the time finding it extraordinary how intelligent people, working in the media, who say on a regular basis "I never believe anything I read in the papers", actually do believe every word.

I was once talking to an bright media inmate in prison; in one of the tabloids was a made up story that I'd been beaten up yet there I was, fit, healthy, untouched and well. "I never believe anything I read in the papers" he said. "Really", I replied, "so you don't believe Dudley Moore just died?".

He took my point.

We all of us take in 99% of what we read, hear, see in the media - yet are convinced we don't.

It's a point I make forcefully in my new film.

Jonathan King said...

Delicious non review - spot on as always Madame. Cannes was buzzing with interest in it. I do hope that's not REALLY Roger Ebert!

Madame Arcati said...

Delighted JK. I'm sure Mr Ebert would have hyperlinked to his site if he wished to share his verdict. Alas, the internet is infested with individuals masquerading behind masks. Digusting. Your ever adoring, er, Madame Arcati.

Anonymous said...

Rupert's a bit of all right innit.

Anonymous said...

I think the film would work well as a stage revue.

Jonathan King said...

Ah Anonymous; I do hope you're right; that's why the DVD/CD soundtrack double disc pack includes most of the backing tracks - so small amateur groups can perform it on stage with 60 piece orchestras backing the singers. Ad the booklet has all the lyrics - some of which I'm rather proud of... hieroglyphics and beligerent in the same musical!