Monday, November 19, 2007

Cranford: The show gives good suck

“My sister doesn’t like the word suck,” said Dame Judi Dench apropos the eating of an orange, in her latest period vehicle for an award aka Cranford (Sundays, BBC1). It was the second sexiest thing about this Elizabeth Gaskell adaptation. The first sexiest thing was Dame Judi sucking on an orange in the privacy of her bedroom – she made it look like a fruity type of cunnilingus: she had already said at table that she likes to make a hole in her orange for the sucking of the juice. She was tasteful enough not to allow a dribble, that would have been too much for this otherwise twee costumed tale about a group of hymened hysterics who faint at the first squeak of a woodlouse fart. Her sister did allow herself a bit of a suck, but from neatly cut orange segments. Still, the build up will be to a romantic tumescence - spinster redemption by cock - for even in Cranford oranges are not the only fruit.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking of D H Lawrence's "The correct way to eat a fig ..." demonstrated by the late, great Sir Alan Bates in "Women in Love". The scene, actually, was NOT in the book (it came from elsewhere, but was by DHL) ... Do you suppose TV's "Cranford" wants to add a little something, even if it was not the author's intention at that moment, in that work? Sexing things up ... over the mere jottings of some writer ... What the flip did the greats know?

Ms Baroque said...

Well, Mme, I wasn't going to watch it - but now I might.

Anonymous said...

Filthy bitch

Anonymous said...

Funny funny - and Cranford gets eight million viewers, beating I'm A Celebrity. There's sense in Britain yet.

Anonymous said...

I loved Cranford. You call it twee but in fact I thought exquisitely comic and nuanced. I couldn't tell if you liked it or not.

Anonymous said...

Why don't you do more reviews Madame? They'll keep you out of mischief.

Anonymous said...

Is it possible that the Cranford you watched, Madame, was the same that I watched? You have somehow turned what I think is a brilliant family period drama into a lesbian porn movie. I have asked a loved one to buy me the DVD of the show for Christmas (if it is available) so that I may scrutinise this "orange" episode. It quite escaped me.

Anonymous said...

< It quite escaped me. >

You'll also have to borrow "Madame"'s "pink" glasses if you really want to see it.