Saturday, December 15, 2007

The X Factor - it was Scotland wot won it

Simon was gracious in disappointment. "Leon was the one who needed to win this more than anyone else," he said, which is a nice way of saying that on the night raw sentiment rather than best talent held sway. He'd backed Rhydian to win The X Factor but little Leon pipped it in the end, thanks to Scotland (and a lift from lovely Kylie). No matter. Rhydian was the true star of the series and his international success is assured.

41 comments:

Anonymous said...

Since you predicted the execrable Rhydian would win let's hope you're as accurate in this prediction.

Madame Arcati said...

I wasn't alone in my prediction - Cowell today says he thinks Rhydian can make £20m in the next five years. "Execrable"? Execrable was Leon's haphazard tonality - though he has a good voice when the confidence is up. The sense of deflation on the show was palpable - and the papers today are underwhelmed. A fuck up all round really.

Lady Bracknell said...

Madame ...

I voted for Leon ... all the way through this X-Factor ... because he improved every week.

As the end drew nigh, I got thinking: "Who would I like to listen to in a club some evening?"

The answer seemed clear to me: Leon.

"Whose recordings would I buy, especially when it is original material?"

Leon's.

Rhydian may go on to sing himself up some £20m in the next five years, but my £ won't be part of it.

That's my choice. To encourage ...

Anonymous said...

Same Difference just made me feel so happy.

Madame Arcati said...

One prediction I am confident of - Scottish phone bills will be steep in the next quarter.

SUSAN said...

Rhydian was weird and smug - not a pleasant combination.

Madame Arcati said...

He's just a good ol' self-disciplined virgin who wears a black balaclava to protect his vocals. At least he saved us the teary soap stuff.

Anonymous said...

Did you notice how Sharon Osbourne was on her best behaviour last night? Yet only the other night on Graham Norton she was being rude about the show, and when asked what Dannii looked like, she pointed to her large arse. She even lay on the floor at some point screaming on. Perhaps Simon pays her to be a cow.

Anonymous said...

The Xtra Factor after the result was a hoot. Everyone bleary-eyed and pissed. At some point gifts were delivered to the judges. Simon opened his despite Fearne's protestations and it was empty, he did look pissed off. Sharon crashed into things, Dannii threw her dagger looks. Towards the end Fearne walked into a room to find Rhydian weeping - has Fearne got a thing for Dermot? - and Sharon wouldn't allow her into her drinks party. I hear Terri got furious with Simon last week or the week before that over Dannii, but I can't say why. Byeee.

Anonymous said...

I thought Niki should have made the final, Sharon was right about that at least.

Duralex said...

<< He's just a good ol' self-disciplined virgin >>

I've just read the article another contributor pointed to. Tabernak, what a laugh !

Hey, wait a minute ! Don't tell me you're buying that "I'm a virgin knight" thing about Rhydian. This guy is 24, and his publicist is trying to sell us he's the male equivalent of Britney Spears ? Come on, give me a break ! It's obvious from the compulsory gay innuendos that they are just creating an aura of sexual ambiguity around him. A fabricated public image, good for his sales. The zeitgeist, you know.

En tout cas (anyway)... At least he's got an interesting voice, for a change.

SUSAN said...

He would be good in an ALW musical.. though he would need acting/dancing/movement/fitness training as well as vocal. He is not a popstar which is what the X Factor is about. He looks weird, deliberately. Did he walk off the Starship Enterprise ? Come on, if he had had plain dark hair combed normally, he would not have got to the final.
and of course he is gay. Virgin maybe. Gay, definitely.

Duralex said...

<< Come on, if he had had plain dark hair combed normally, he would not have got to the final. >>

Well, of course ! You don't expect a pop singer to look like an accountant, do you ?

<< and of course he is gay. Virgin maybe. Gay, definitely. >>

See, Arcati ? The propaganda works as hell. How gullible some people can be, it's delightful.

Never mind, with that gay rumor spreading around, Rhydian's ship is coming home. Lucky guy.

I like his version of "The Phantom of the Opera". I saw Antonio Banderas' performance (so to speak) too : oh, my God ! That poor man is a very good actor, but he definitely should stop singing... :-)

Madame Arcati said...

Rhydian is not gay, I'm quite sure of it. Being a virgin is the height of fashion.

Duralex said...

<< Rhydian is not gay, I'm quite sure of it. >>

Tabernak, I'm stunned. How the hell do you know ? Oh, but of course you're a clairvoyant, silly me. ;-)

<< Being a virgin is the height of fashion. >>

If you're a handsome boy and 24 years old, I'd say it's the height of ridicule, at least from where I stand. My parents would have been very worried about me being a "puceau" at that age, I can tell you. How the times have changed !

But I'm almost sure this is merely a marketing scheme from the word go.

forgotten ones fund/stephmastini said...

Madame, I think you have a Duralex imposter on your hands...is Francophone back?..I think so!
If I were to give up my Chanel bath, it would only be to prove that that man is a virgin!..but I agree, I might not be his type...but than again, knowing the sexual preferences of my closet mates has never been my forte...

Anonymous said...

< is Francophone back?..I think so! >

I suppose you meant 'Francinophone', didn't you? :->

Duralex said...

<< Madame, I think you have a Duralex imposter on your hands... >>

What the hell do you mean, "a Duralex impostor" ? I'm the authentic, unbreakable Duralex, back again after a little personal trip to... an uncivilized country – yes, let's put it that way.

You shouldn't be complaining, Steph chérie : don't you know I'm a lot of fun ? ;-)

forgotten ones fund/stephmastini said...

...YOU are..? Duralex??? that is why I was confused.. would the real Duralex please stand up?
Tom Hanks went on a rant today about the idiots who write negative comments on his "my space" page, but won't use their real name..pisses him off!! no kidding!!

Anonymous said...

So why does the fat, talentless twat have a 'my space' page ? Is the money not enough ? Must we all love him as well ?

Duralex said...

<< ...YOU are..? Duralex??? that is why I was confused.. would the real Duralex please stand up? >>

Maudit qu'a m'énarve !!! [1]

I tell you I'm Duralex the Great, the only one, the most irreplaceable of all Arcati's frenemies (and God knows he has got plenty).

[1] Don't try BabelFish on this one, I'm afraid it won't be very helpful. Here in Québec, this informal sentence means something like : "She's so f*cking irritating".

forgotten ones fund/stephmastini said...

that's not very congenial of you Duralex. I was not judging you, if in doubt you WERE, (are?) the real Duralex...I have seen a lot of imposters on here..that's all..and calling me that despicable name is not "fun"..as you so "eloquently" described yourself...it's mean...and degrading on your part...

Duralex said...

<< that's not very congenial of you Duralex. >>

You're sadly misjudging me : I'm a congenital congenial guy, actually.

<< and calling me that despicable name is not "fun"..as you so "eloquently" described yourself... >>

OK, I take it back. "Maudit qu'a m'énarve" rather means "she's so damn irritating". It's much sweeter than "f*cking", isn't it ? :-)

<< it's mean...and degrading on your part... >>

Well, I think you know a lot more than I do about the art of degrading oneself, especially by unnecessarily airing one's dirty laundry. But I'm quite sure it's all a thing of the past : you're a respectable philanthropist now.

The Daughter-of-a-Bitch said...

Help! The pompously sanctimonious Duralex is back! ;-)))
Where have you been, poppet? I thought you'd never dare turn up again after... um, after what happened a few weeks ago. Anyway, welcome back, dude. I realise I missed you, a little.

Madame Arcati said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

From Duralex - Pompously ? All right, I’m a bit pompous sometimes. But sanctimonious, moi ? Are you deliberately trying to offend me, Fille-de-Pute ?

>

It’s my business, you’ll never know.

Madame Arcati said...

As I suspected, Daughter of a Bitch and Duralex are one and the same or in league. I also have documentary evidence that someone calling himself Duralex emailed out defamatory remarks about me to people I know, including Randy Fowler. Merry Christmas!

Set up your own blog you lazy, anonymous cunt.

The Daughter-of-a-Bitch said...

"As I suspected, Daughter of a Bitch and Duralex are one and the same"

Funniest Arcati guesswork ever! I wish I were Duralex indeed, I'd be so much wittier than I am...

"or in league"

Oh but darling, all your frenemies are in league against you. It doesn't mean they are necessarily related to each other in any other way, does it?

Anonymous said...

< As I suspected, Daughter of a Bitch and Duralex are one and the same or in league. >

Oh dear, stop it or I'll die laughing. A couple of months back it was Claire, Duralex, Francine and Thom who were supposed to be one and the same. What's next?

< I also have documentary evidence that someone calling himself Duralex emailed out defamatory remarks about me to people I know, including Randy Fowler. >

What do you call 'defamatory remarks'? If they were even worse than your own defamatory attacks against your favorite targets, it's something I'd really like to see, you know. :->

Madame Arcati said...

Duralex/DOB, so sadly obvious, same sort of prose patterns and the same symtpoms of what may be politely termed studied bi-polarism - always trying to bring matters to the same old tired topic and even using the same kind of abusive language when thwarted - like anyone gives a shit. You "both" also display a tragic failure to understand what this blog is about in your self-important literalism and kind of not-quite-getting it Aspergers-y way. Run along now - you have relatives to render miserable.

The Daughter-of-a-Bitch said...

"Duralex/DOB, so sadly obvious, same sort of prose patterns"

This is a very interesting point. Could you elaborate, please?

"and the same symtpoms of what may be politely termed studied bi-polarism"

Any examples at hand?

"always trying to bring matters to the same old tired topic"

???

"and even using the same kind of abusive language when thwarted"

Ha, look who's talking!

"You "both" also display a tragic failure to understand what this blog is about"

I'm afraid the only tragic failure is that you yourself don't really know what your own blog is about, honey.

Anyway, if my horoscope tells me Duralex and I are meant to each other, then be it so. :-)

"Run along now - you have relatives to render miserable."

Do I render you miserable, poor helpless little thing?

Duralex said...

<< As I suspected, Daughter of a Bitch and Duralex are one and the same >>

Damn it, I’m found out ! :-)))

So... it seems this is a fascinating case of schizophrenia : my DOAB half suspects my Duralex half of being your persecutor, and vice versa. Help, a shrink, quick, for Christ's sake !

<< I also have documentary evidence that someone calling himself Duralex emailed out defamatory remarks about me to people I know, including Randy Fowler. >>

Yeah, you told me already. Calisse et tabernak, this is a shameless imposture – not the first time it happens, if my memory serves me well.

Once again I swear on anything holy you want – you, for instance ;-) – that I never sent any email to your acquaintances, and to Mr. Fowler even less than to anyone else. Do you think I would deliberately take the risk of having my private mailbox wildly spammed, as you experienced it on your own blog ? Don’t be silly, please.

Do you know what ? To hell with our paranoia. But the Truth is always out there, I fear. :-)

Anonymous said...

< You "both" also display a tragic failure to understand what this blog is about in your self-important literalism and kind of not-quite-getting it Aspergers-y way. >

From the Wikipedia – Asperger syndrome, language and speech.

"Abnormalities include verbosity; abrupt transitions; literal interpretations and miscomprehension of nuance; use of metaphor meaningful only to the speaker; auditory perception deficits; unusually pedantic, formal or idiosyncratic speech"

This strikes me as a perfect description of Arcati's writing habits, while I have no problem with DuraBitch's (?) prose.

Madame Arcati said...

"DuraBitch" - excellent, I love that. I wish I'd thought of that -(to which the natural reply must be: "You will Oscar, you will.")

Note to DuraBitch: the bit in brackets is a little self-deprecatory joke - I know these things have to be explained to you or else you'll try to use it to get this posting back to that curious obsession of yours in your dementedly controlled hatred of this site. (Yes, that last bit contains an oxymoron, I know that. We failed hacks know our words).

Notice how DuraBitch replies at about the same time, adopting different facades in response to mine, as if engaged in Socratic debate. Examples of similarities of tone are endless and I have better things to do than furnish examples - they are plain to any student of so low a topic. The idle habit of cutting and pasting sentences of mine with some ejaculatory response of your own is also a shared characteristic. I welcome Durabitch's interventions but he now knows that certain items will not see the light of day on this blog, and should he wish to lecture me on my lack of courage (as he as in one of his recent unpublished deranged attacks - I have sent it on to various friends for festive fun) then my answer to that one is: Look who's talking! You are made of custard.

DOB started out as a feminine- sounding little tart but has evolved into a moustachioed, rather butch creature with a startlingly testicular prose style at times swaying between her sub-clauses. Do watch that. Try to get back to your half-hearted bitch mode. In fact you are no less witty than Duralex so don't feel daunted by this challenge.

And on that note, I further challenge you to dream up a new facade to try to fool me (but beware: others may now pretend to be Duralex/DOB/DuraBitch).

Happy 2008!

The Daughter-of-a-Bitch said...

Oh dear, how can I reply to this without being offensive? "Okay, Sherlock, you won"?
Durabitch! I love it too. Shall we play this funny game, Duralex? I'll borrow your dictatorial moustache, you'll try my big boobs. How fun! Why not?

Duralex (forever) said...

To the Daughter.

<< Durabitch! I love it too. >>

I agree it's a beautiful monster indeed.

<< Shall we play this funny game, Duralex? >>

No way. Duralex is unbreakable, one and indivisible.

<< I'll borrow your dictatorial moustache, you'll try my big boobs. >>

Or the other way around, who knows ? I’m surprised Arcati didn’t draw foolhardy conclusions from the fact that I no longer offer to wipe “her” chimney. ;-)

To Arcati, now.

<< Note to DuraBitch: the bit in brackets is a little self-deprecatory joke >>

Self-deprecatory, really ? I’d rather say pedantic, if you ask me. But of course, one needs cultural references to get it. By the way, I take this opportunity to point out that you and I have much more in common than the DOAB and I will ever have : obviously we share the same culture, whether you like it or not. Oh, Lord, won’t we be suspected of being one and the same ? I’m pretty sure you’re perfectly capable of pretending you are French speaking…

<< Notice how DuraBitch replies at about the same time, >>

Do you mean that the DOAB and I regularly post our comments at the same time ? How odd ! Must be some kind of secret telepathy. You should be rejoicing that your magic influence works so well, Madame Arcati.

<< adopting different facades in response to mine, as if engaged in Socratic debate. >>

That’s funny, as for me I thought I was engaged in a dialogue of deaf with Steph Mastini...

<< Examples of similarities of tone are endless and I have better things to do than furnish examples - they are plain to any student of so low a topic. >>

In other words, no compelling evidence. Just a vague impression, and your galloping imagination to fill the gaps. Congratulations to the new-style Maigret here. Why don’t you try the Tibetan method, it might work even better !

<< The idle habit of cutting and pasting sentences of mine with some ejaculatory response of your own is also a shared characteristic. >>

Crisse ! The strength of this argument leaves me speechless (provisionally, of course). Hey, it’s stichomythia, my dear. “Du tac au tac”, as we say in French. An old playwright technique, you know. The DOAB and I are not by far the only ones to use it on this blog. If you’re not satisfied with it, go f*ck yourself. To me it’s the most convenient and efficient way of answering on the internet.

<< I welcome Durabitch's interventions but he now knows that certain items will not see the light of day on this blog >>

Please forgive if I’m laughing in my sleeve. It should have occurred to you that some of them are specifically meant to remain under wraps [1]… It’s quite enough that you read them – and you do – without being offered the outlet of the counter-attack. How frustrating that must be to you !

<< and should he wish to lecture me on my lack of courage (as he as in one of his recent unpublished deranged attacks >>

As I have no recollection of having lectured you on your cowardice (pun intended), I suppose this reproach is directed toward my alleged “alter ego”.

<< Happy 2008! >>

I do admire you sense of anticipation. Here’s to you, my good fellow !

[1] And note I graciously allow you to cut this part of our exchange if you wish. ;-)

Madame Arcati said...

Certainly the above must be from "Duralex" given the length. Deranged, humourless attacks maybe censored (for sympathetic reasons) but can be replied to cryptically in comments - there's always a way of coding a reply. I now know you veer between a courtly critical mode and then what I call sustained cold-loopy.

Anonymous said...

Self-sympathetic, as we both know, my dear Madame.
>

I'm looking forward to this. Reading through the lines is one of my personal skills.

Madame Arcati said...

Oh dear, something got lost in translation just above. You were too busy playing between the lines, weren't you DuraBitch?

The Daughter-of-a-Bitch said...

You two are getting deadly boring. Ciao.

Duralex said...

All right, everybody off the planet ! ;-)))